H using self help book in row

[onelastchance]

As some of you know from other posts, dh and i have been having a vry tough time.

I bought a couple of books, oe about anger management and one about emotional abuse. We have a weekly chat to discuss what we've agreed to read the previous week.

had a row (ironically about him not doing excercised in the book). It escalated s i was too upset to make u with him despite him making a few attempts. he then started ranting about it beig me who was abusing him and shouting really loudly all in front of ds (4). He stomed out of house and i could't help crying which then made poor ds cry too :(

H bought presents for me and ds in the evening to say sorry and if the shouting/ranting had ben a one off, i'd be ok now. trouble is, i'm pretty sure it'll happen again.

Am i being ureasonable for being upset about him not putting more effort into the reading and then refusing to make up with him?

how did he find out about the thread?

Sorry i meant she, as it the counsellor - sorry!

Although i wouldn't be entirely surprised if he has read it, as he's looked at my posts before "to find out what i was thinking" - couldn't ask me :(

why are you posting when he is around and may see you doning something that could put you at risk for him to read?

I don't post when he is around

He looked at history and managed to identify my posts

He is looking at your history why? how do you feel about that? Are you still leaving your history on the computer for him to find your posts next time?

i wan't happy about him looking at history - have turned it off

Did you communicate that you were not happy to him, how did that communication take form?

How do you think he will react to you turning off the history?

Just use in private browsing. I think thats creepy that he looks at your history.

he said he wouldn't do it again. Turned the history off over a year ago - no reaction. Actually i think he turned it off after i discovered he was lying about looking at porn

He is snooping on the computer and letting you know he is snooping in order to intimidate you and it is working -- you don't post when he is around.

He is not interested in what you are thinking or feeling. He wants you to shut up and stop posting and let him get away with whatever he wants to do and say and however he wants to behave. He wants to control you and silence you.

It did intimidate me when i realised he's been looking at my posts - he even made my post a bookmark! He denied having done it (making it a bookmark)so he either did it by mistake or was lying

Of course it was a lie. You can't do something like that by mistake. It would be a one in a gazillion chance that he could do that by mistake. And it didn't happen by itself either. He is lying.

Scary :(

Onelast , thats shit and not ok for him to do that . Id consider looking on download .net ( i think ) and downloading something to check if you have a keylogger on. Mine put a keylogger on my pc and even though there as nothing personal on there it was highly intrusive and upsetting. There was nothing to see , i think it just gave him a thrill . Bin him !

The porn thing , is this a major issue in your marriage ?

No, porn not any issue anymore. he said he stopped doing it after i found out. he hardly uses my laptop now, mainly useds his work one and all sites like that are blocked

Dignified - looked at download - how would downloading something tell me if he was spying on me?

They have thing you can download that will check for keyloggers and other spyware , perhaps someone on tech would know what theyre called , sadly i am shit on the pc and can just about manage to turn mine on.

Here's a yahoo answer to How to detect keylogger software on a computer