Fab & Glam 11 - A New Chapter

[Tanee58]

I figure that the reason I haven't been able to post all day, is because we've run out of thread - again!! Hope you all find this, my fellow Teabags. Are contenders for the longest-running MN thread?

Anyhoo, TFM, I have a tent, and an inflatable mattress. And I quite fancy a trip oop north!

Ginnny @ moving on!

Not sure what I am going to do. PArt of me wants to move on but the other half does like my life. You lot are going to get really sick of me and my vacillating!

We'll never be sick of you Givenchy, you vacillate away to your hearts content!!!

The only thing that makes us sick is knowing that a nice person like you is not happy.

quick bump!!!
Hope you are all OK - you've all gone very quiet!!!
Things here are great. Still single, still loving it and a few offers in the pipeline although I'm a bit wary now, just like things the way they are, don't want to rock the boat.

Shh, we're sleeping!

Sorry ladies
I expect you have all forgotten me!!

Not really felt up to posting for lots of reasons but feel that now house is calm again i can.

There have been a few hic-ups with h - trouble is he knows he is being an arse but not so bothered to find out why and how he can change.

Anyway i am happily getting on with my life as best i can whilst juggling the DC and all the traumas they bring them.

I have a treadmill and i am starting my get fit regime this week. Have been on it 3 times so far and even this early on i feel great.

DS1 is now causing a few probs - he did not do as well as he should have in recent exams and is having a bit of a meltdown about where his life is going. He is very moody and of course we being his mere parents know nothing of it and should keep out of his life.

DD - has calmed down a lot and hormones seem to more predictible again.

other 2DC no real concerns.

DH - awaiting to hear if he still has a job. He is not too worried as we will be ok for a bit but still a bit nervous and upset iyswim.

Had a fab holiday all 6 of us (probably the last time all together) so a bit sad too.

If anyone could give me a quick catch up that would be great if not i will try and trawl through the old posts.

Just checking in. HW I hope you're ok Holiday sounds great though.

Ginny so glad you're ok and seem happy

Dior post away! That's what we're here for xx

p.s. Dior - his OW is still with the guy she met and has cut off all contact with H (as far as I know!). Now adamant that the baby is not his and she lied all along, blah blah. No idea what to believe and luckily, don't care anymore, she probably has a couple of kids with him by now and is busy looking for her next victim

Baffy - how does your ex-h feel about the child NOT being his now? At least she is out of his life. That was a weird scenario!

HW and Tanee - we still need to do lunch in our region (as well as a major teabag camp in TFM's garden!

Baffy so all that drama and upset she caused you all and now she was lying all along! She is pure evil. I pity her poor child - what an upbringing she will have .
Hope you are ok hw x
I'm having a down day today. Only to be expected suppose as I've been so positive lately. I don't want xp back at all but i'm missing his dd his family and that feeling of being in a couple.
Oh just ignore me - I need a good kick up the bum today!

Aw Ginnny, I'd never kick you up the bum. We all have down days - it's part of the territory. I always feel that the saddest part of splitting up, is losing contact with the ex's friends and family. I really missed my FIL for instance, and really cried when he died a couple of years later.

HW great to hear from you - hope the men in your life sort themselves out. It's hard to see children suffering and know they want you to butt out. Has DS got a plan?

Yes, we must do that lunch soon. Dior, any chance of lunch? As always, Thursday/Friday are good for me, or can do an evening.

Well, DD started college this week. Says it was a bit dull the first couple of days, and of course she's nervous about making new friends, but knows that it'll get better with time.

DP still being sweet but still drinking and not looking at the alcohol literature. I'm doing a class on setting barriers on Friday, but it's hard to know quite what to do about him just now. It's nice that things are calm, but bloomin' annoying that both our heads are stuck in the sand. Maybe my barriers class will give me the oomph I need to state my ultimatum - again...

Maybe I need a kick up the backside too !

Thanks Tannee. I won't kick you either!!! I think you need to do things in your own time with your DP, when you are ready to do something you will just know. Let me know what you learn in your barriers class - I think thats something I need too.
Its so maddening. I don't want to be with him again ever, I'm certain of that but every now and then I get a pang of something and feel like crying. I suppose I still love him, but then I start thinking about it all and I know there is absolutely NO future for us at all. I suppose it will take time to get my head (and heart) around it all.
Trick is to stop thinking and keep busy!!

Ginnny - I am having a down day today too. Not good!

Tanee - I can't do Tursdays or Fridays. I have two classes on a Thursday and have to wait in for WW deliveries on Fridays. My best day is Monday - well, at the moment, my ONLY day is Monday. Could you manage that at all? If not, we must arrange to do something for lunch one weekend day. We deserve a break from life at the weekends too!

My life at the moment is very stressful. Not bad stress, just a lot of it! I am finding it hard to relax, to make the most of the moments that I don't have to work. I need something like meditation I think!

How is everyone else?

Dior, I can take a Monday off in a few weeks (not atm as our computers were down for nearly two weeks and the backlog is insane, plus our new interns are very chatty, so though it's fun at work, not a lot is getting done. I need to start cracking the whip next week!) But should be able to take a Monday off in October (except for Monday 18th, as DD is taking me to see Stereophonics in the eve and we need to get there early to be at the barrier!)

HW how are you fixed?

Ginnny, that's hard. I think we've all been there, knowing a relationship has reached a rightful end, but still missing the good times. I'll let you know how the barriers course goes - I think it'll be useful for all sorts of situations, not just relationships. And find out how often they run them, as they're free, if you can get to Welwyn Garden City.

Well, it's 7pm so I really should go home. Have been trying to catch up with work and do personal stuff as no go on my laptop. Am very afraid it's dead. Can anyone recommend a good laptop for around £300-400?

Hi to everyone else, especially Baffy, and TFM - you're very quiet - any signs from the alarm man?

Hi everyone. Sorry to hear some of us are not in a great place right now
I went back to work this week. dd was fine but kept saying hello over and over again when they came to collect me - think that was her way of saying she missed me I was fine about going back - especially knowing that dd was in good hands (h first, then mil).
Baffy - I always wondered whether she was stringing your h along. What a bitch.
HW - will ds1 do resits? Maybe that will buy him a bit of time til he decides what he wants to do?

Hi everyone. I am feeling really down at the moment. I know that a lot of it is stress re starting work again, but it is GOOD stress. I don't seem to be able to cope with any stress at all without getting depressed.

Things with H still not good. We are not spending any time together and I just can't be bothered to try .

How are you all?

hi only a quick check in
DD off sick today - when will i get organised???

Yes I can do mondays - a good start to the week or Thursdays - cant do Fridays without notice as I work.

Talking of work - i am going to apply for another job
I dont want to do full time - but want to be able to support myself now too. I am taking it slowly though and have looked at first doing a couple of courses to get me back into it.

DS - still not good - no he does not really have another plan at the moment which is half the problem - i am going to pump him full of vitimans this week and see if we can kick start him again. He will be fine it is just such such a horrid time having to study and not really knowing what the next step will be.

H a bit more positive too - he thinks his job is safe but he is also looking around for something closer to home.

The lovely weather is great and i have finally got myself out in the garden to give it a very need tidy!!

Sorry still not totally caught up with everything

HW - are you thinking that you might NEED to support yourself in the near future then?

hi girls, no internet connection at work now in addition to my home laptop being properly bugged. The government is grinding to a standstill in our office! Am having to use DD's laptop.

Ok, HW & Dior, let's make it a Monday. Just give me a couple of weeks' notice so I can book leave. As I said, any Monday except 18 October. It sounds like we NEED a lunch with plenty of time for chatter chatter.

How is everyone else? I'm not enjoying the rain or the frustrations of technology breaking down at work and we'll have a HUUUGE backlog when all is up and running, but I am still going to take that time off as I must use it or lose it. At least it's a change from being fed up with DP - who's still being nice btw.

Ooh, still being nice. Why is that do you think?

OK, let's tentatively say Monday 25th...then we can celebrate my birthday! HW, can you do that?

Hi Teabags!
Hope you are all OK.
I'VE GOT A DATE TONIGHT!!!! I'm very very excited and rather nervous. He's really nice and completely normal, which is just what I need at the moment. I'm not going to get into anything serious, but it is nice to be out there again, I'm lovin it!!
Obviously keeping it quiet from XP as he will use it as an excuse to kick off, his behaviour the last few weeks has been disgusting, he's driven his truck pissed, abused more of my friends and generally being a complete ^&**(. So glad I finally got rid of him, I only regret that it took me so long.
Hope you are all doing OK.

ginnny

I remember you well.

Am very pleased to read an update from you and you have finally (hopefully for good this time!) said ta-ta to your ex partner. He was never any good for you ginnny (I still remember the incident with the mirror and he's always been a drunk).

You needed to see what he is like with your own eyes.

Hope this date goes fine but would respectfully suggest you take it slow and steady. You do not need or want further complications and you are still recovering from a previous relationship. You have a hell of a long way to go.

Also ginnny love your own self for a change!. Concentrate on you and your boys primarily for now.

with best wishes

attila

I'm still alive

Well done Ginnny, hope you enjoy the date. Do try to separate your financial dealings with XP now. The more drunk he gets the more bad decisions he will make until you lose the whole business, and perhaps more besides if he manages to run up debts for which you are partly liable. Obviously I don't know what your arrangements are, but I don't have to know the details to know that being in business with alcoholic exes is A Bad Thing. If you had a friend or sister in this position you would be telling them the same.

Dior, that man makes you as happy as a cold bathtub. He is father to your DS and a decent provider but he is not a warm, loving human being. All the love you can give won't make him into one, it'll just suck the warmth out of you eventually. I am so hoping that one day you will ditch that hard bastard and give yourself a chance to find someone kind-hearted and affectionate.

Annie - thanks. I sometimes question whether it is all in my head and I am being hard on him. I would love to know what a totally unbiased person would think if they saw our interactions during the day. They might say that he is perfectly normal and that I am a bitch... All I know is that my heart sinks when he comes in the door and that his tone makes me feel instant fear, even if he is only saying something bland.

Ginnny - hope the date went well Your ex is showing exactly why he is an ex.

Dior - I totally agree with Annie (usually do, mind you!)he seems very cold and emotionally cruel.