TFM, that's fantastic about the work placement. I do think work is essential to self-esteem (or not - I'm experiencing ups and downs with my job atm and really want a change of career). Are you still thinking of becoming a counsellor? You would be fantastic and tbh, the world of women needs you!
Yes, I'm speaking to neighbour regularly. She's had a poor history with men - a dominating father (though he has his good side and helped us out when our electricity failed on the coldest night of the year) - I was shocked by some of the stories she told of his abuse. She married at 17 to escape him, but her first DH gambled and she ended it. She was independent and brought up her DD alone for several years till she met DH2 on holiday, had a whirlwind 9 day romance and got engaged very quickly. She says he was DESPERATE to marry her, but things began to change when he joined her in the UK. He's very demanding, expects a traditional Greek wife with everything done for him - really, what he wants is a replacement for his mother, with 'extras' 
. All he does is bring in an income, but nothing to help round the house. Fair enough to some extent, as she doesn't work outside the house, but her self-esteem is so low, despite her strong exterior, and apart from her family, she doesn't go out much (We're changing that, she and I have agreed to go out for coffee on my days off, and maybe go out for dinner and leave her DH to cook for himself!). I quite liked her DH, and he gets on well with DP, but he seems not really committed to the marriage, in that he goes off to visit his previous family and his mother in Greece every couple of months, without her, and every five years or so, he does this disappearing act - this is the third time and she says she's walking on eggshells now, wondering how long it'll be before he does it again. He's told her he loves her and wants to come home, but when he's away, he doesn't even text his son to say hallo, and has left them with no money. He had the cheek to send her an envelope of vouchers and coupons! I'm spitting with annoyance for her. We did a bit of role playing last week, acting out how she should behave when he phones. I played her, and she feel about laughing at how I spoke to 'him', but said she couldn't be that detached.
Well, slow steps. Look how long it took us to all stand up for ourselves. And HOW it works! 