Fab & Glam 11 - A New Chapter

[Tanee58]

I figure that the reason I haven't been able to post all day, is because we've run out of thread - again!! Hope you all find this, my fellow Teabags. Are contenders for the longest-running MN thread?

Anyhoo, TFM, I have a tent, and an inflatable mattress. And I quite fancy a trip oop north!

Yes Annie, I'm sticking to the too - might just have to dunk a or two though!!!
Tannee - Happy Birthday!! I always think of our first meetup on your birthday a few years ago. Hope you have a good time despite being blown out .
Things with me are great. I've been with 'new' DP for 5 months now and its going really well. I do have a few commitment issues and have had to slam the brakes on a few times and it is taking me a while to get used to being with someone 'normal' who doesn't play mind games, and is actually kind and caring without wanting anything in return or throwing it back in my face, all very strange for me, but I'm getting there.

Swampy is still a PITA, but I try to ignore him where possible. The court case has been postponed for some unknown reason but he's still on bail and not allowed near us so all is good.

Mmm, . Shall we start a petition for a cake emoticon or is that too much of a good thing?

Ooh yes, cake please!

Glad to hear things still going well with NM Ginnny, and you're quite right to take your time. Anyway, the courtship period is best. I think, looking back, if I changed anything, it would be moving house with DP - I'd keep our separate homes forever and never know just how much he drinks!

Lush, yes, still drinking, but he is much less negative with it, and not regularly drinking the same volume. I just need to get DD more involved in our lives again, and thinking of inviting her over for Shrove Tuesday as she LURVES pancakes and I make good ones!

Oh, and Annie, well done on starting your course. I have just applied for a new job, FAR from politics and back in my real love, Heritage. Don't think I'll get it, but wish me luck, anyhoo.

Fingers crossed for you, Tanee.

Good Luck Tannee!!!
Agree about the courtship period - I don't want to move on from this stage ... ever. How long do you think I can stretch it out for?
Seriously, I am having to do some real hard thinking because I really don't know if I ever want to live with a man again. I love living by myself and if DP stays more than say a week without me having a night on my own I get really restless and moody. Once I've had a few nights to myself I start to miss him though and he is very patient with me.
I know he is keen to move on a level and so far I've reined him in and told him I'm not ready, but will I ever be ready? I'm really not sure

ginnny - go easy on yourself. It's a fairly new relationship and you're not long out of a very difficult one. It's normal and sensible to be cautious. Perhaps let him in on how you're feeling so that he knows it's something you have to deal with in your own time and not anything that's lacking in him - iyswim.

Tanee - best of luck with job application I don't blame you for wanting to get out of politics!

Nobody can tell you when you'll be ready, Ginnny. But if he's the one, he won't mind waiting. As he's getting to stay for up to a week at a stretch you're not exactly depriving him at the moment, are you? It's nice he wants more, but if you ain't comfortable with that then it is too soon.

Or, what LL said. As usual.

Great minds Annie

Hello ladies! I have not been on here for ages. Last time I checked this thread, no-one had posted for ages.

H is being amazingly thoughtful at the moment. I have recently read 'Why men want sex and women need love', twice, and a lot of it did make sense. I suggested that he have a look because, if nothing else, it was an interesting read. He hasn't said anything, but some of his behaviour seems to be in line with some of the recommendations, so that is good.

Things not perfect in the bedroom depsrtment, but we are kissing each other goodbye again now and feel a bit closer. The 'chat' re sex will come soon (unlike me ) but, every time I think about instigating it, I am not 100% sure that I actually want it with HIM!

Barber still in my thoughts, but I am keeping away from him. I let h take ds to get his hair cut. It is doing me some good, although I still fancy him.

Hope you are all ok? Sorry to hear about dd's dx Lush :(

Hi Dior, how lovely to 'see' you again!
Thanks for the birthday greetings, girls, I had a lovely weekend in Oxford for the day, and Gloucester for the evening, our friends there cooked up an amazing Moroccan feast. Great antidote to the rain.

Dior, really glad to hear DH is improving. Hope it continues well.

DP being lovely here too. We're celebrating St David's Day tonight, with a gratin of leeks and potatoes. I've invited DD for pancakes next week, and she's accepted. Fingers x'd for how it goes. She's refused to come to counselling with me, says she really doesn't care any more, she doesn't actually want to move back (not with DP there, anyway) and that she has her own life now. True, she does more with her friends and doesn't need me any more, and will be moving into a student flat next year, as soon as she can afford it - but I do feel I've failed her along the way. Still, I must respect her decision and work out my feelings with the counsellor tomorrow.

I think we all feel like we've failed along the way Tannee, I know I do and mine are still comparatively little.

Givenchy, I'm glad things are going better with DH. Your craft stuff on FB is amazing, you are so talented .

Hope everyone else is OK. I was a bit bored at work one day last week and I found myself reading one of our old threads, I couldn't believe how far we have all come since the beginning, and also how many Teabags have disappeared off the radar!

I'm very happy today - DS1 got into the secondary school we wanted and things are going really well with NM. Even Swampy kicking my front door last night on his way home from the pub hasn't dampened my mood. Just made me all the more glad I'm away from all his shit.
AND... the sun is out too !!!!

Thanks Dior - though we are now starting to adjust. I think dd will get there but it'll just take longer than it will for other kids. She is bright as a button and the physio says this improves outcome a lot. It's good that your dh has taken on board some of the stuff you linked to.

Tanee - dd is at the age where she probably wants independence anyway. Don't feel too bad

Ginnny - glad the x's usual twatish behaviour is not getting you down. Eventually he'll stop - especially when he realises it's not achieving anything. Glad ds got into the school you wanted for him Gosh, seems like years away before the dc will be ready for secondary school. I am such an OLD mother

Bumping cos it took me ages to find you all. Hope everyone is enjoying the lovely weather

Hello Ladies

Just popping in to say Hi and let you know I'm still alive and haven't forgotten you.

LL I hope all is going well with you after your lovely DD's diagnosis. I hope everyone else is well and happy. Things are good with DD and me, we continue to go from strength to strength and I finally feel I am in a good place, the past is firmly in the past now and it's a good feeling. Onwards and upwards from now on!!

Lots of love to everyone xx

Hi TFM - fantastic to hear from you. I've been wondering how you and DD are getting on, and meaning to email you for ages. It looks like all of us have turned a positive corner at last. And it's sooo nice to feel Spring in the air.

Hi Tanee! It's lovely to be back in touch. I've definitely turned a positive corner and it feels wonderful! A whole new me is emerging and I like her! I'm pleased all is going well for you too. And yes, it is nice to feel Spring in the air, it puts a spring in ones step!

Hi TFM - so glad to hear you and dd are doing so well. I knew you would be OK, you are so strong.
I think you are right Tannee - we have turned a positive corner. I am happier than I have ever been. I've been with DP for 6 months now and he is just lovely, the kids are happy and settled and stupid ex still tries to have a go every now and then but he can't affect me any more. I pity him more than anything, and his new girlfriend.
Hope everyone else is OK - I keep an eye on you all on Facebook but don't really come on here much anymore, I always find myself drawn to the Relationship threads and then end up feeling depressed so I just look for this thread and then clear off these days.

Hi Tbags, hope all of you are well. Things still good here - DD came round with very little warning on Monday, DP didn't know she was coming until we both fetched up on the doorstep at the same time. He was fine, made bruschettas for us all and left us to have quality girls' time over a bottle of white wine (DD's 19 next week - where has the time gone??) And here's a thing I'd like to share - DD casually said, 'Oh, by the way, random fact - I've got a boyfriend...) . I'm delighted for her, he sounds very nice and VERY obedient to her wishes and whims and according to his FB photo, has lovely long curly brown hair! My mum has met him and thought he was a girl (6ft 4 tall ) However, I feel a bit strange now - maybe it's just that it reminds me that she's not my baby any more...

I have promised not to stalk them on FB !

I'm not surprised Tannee - I'm only surprised it took this long for someone to snap her up. From what I remember she is absolutely stunning!

How nice that DP made you food then left you to it - there is nothing like a girly chat with your Mum
DP and I are having a few issues with an ex girlfriend who refuses to go away but I think we are handling it OK. They have been texting each other and she keeps asking him to go and do some odd jobs for her, he hid it from me and I found out and went apeshit, but I really don't think there is anything in it, he is just too nice and didn't want to upset anyone.

He has had his one strike now - if anything else happens then he knows I'm off. I didn't put up with a lying shitbag for 5 years to go through it all again and even though I'll be gutted if it goes wrong I am so much stronger now than I was before.

Hi Everyone all is well in the TFM household and I am happier than I've been in years. Life is good.

Tanee, it's lovely to read such a positive post from you, I hope things continue in the same light.

Ginny, I hate to be a doom merchant but watch out, keep your eyes peeled because if DP didn't think he was doing anything wrong by texting the ex gf he would have been open with you about it. I hope it all works out well and I am sure it will because like you say, you are so much stronger these days.

Don't worry TFM -I think I worded that wrong yesterday. She asked him before we met to do some work for her and he said he would but then met me and never got round to it. She started hassling him by text and he felt like he had committed himself and couldn't then say no so he kept putting her off. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to upset me and he had no intention of doing it anyway.
She left a few comments on his facebook which got my back up then I saw a text come from her when he was at mine and I freaked out.

I told him her or me - no compromise as I'd been here before and (thank God) he texted her there and then saying he wasn't going to do her work and to stop texting. She phoned him up kicking off and he told her to get lost.
It's all good - he wasn't up to anything dodgy, just too nice to say No. I think he's learnt his lesson now. My reaction was a bit OTT but I think he got the point

Hi Ginnny & TFM great to hear from you both!

Ginnny, sounds like you did the right things - showed him you cared, that you wouldn't tolerate any approaches from the ex - and he did the right thing too in seeing her off. She's an ex, he doesn't owe her anything. Good for you both!

TFM glad things are still so good for you. I was talking about you this morning with my neighbour, who's having husband trouble (mid-life crisis amongst many other issues, I think). She was very impressed by your story. I've become a bit of a sounding board for her and have suggested ways of dealing with her H (who left very suddenly, and is playing fast and loose now, says he wants to return but won't say when). I've suggested detaching big time, that if he wants to return, she should make him work for it! Don't know if she'll do it though, as she's worried about becoming a single parent for the second time and the effect this is having on their son. She says she should try finding a job and a life and I agreed this would absolutely help her self-esteem and detachment. She hasn't worked for 11 years and has, I think, become a bit of a doormat to him. And she is, beneath that, a very strong woman. She just needs a bit of encouragement to bring her strength to the fore.

Am hoping DD never goes through any of this s*. Mind you, she seems to have BF well under control so far - I gather the term is 'whipped'! She's still doing plenty of stuff with her GFs and only sees him about once a week now that term's over.

And DP's still being lovely - thanks to you, TFM, and our very positive counsellor, he's really my DP again and relations with DD are certainly onward and upward.

Hope all the other teabags are ok?