brave battling babes get even better without the booze!

[jesuswhatnext]

10 weeks ago i started a thread asking for help - i was in a very desperate place, totally dependent on alchohol, unhappy, lonely and floundering around trying to make sense of it all. i was in danger of losing everything i hold dear.

in those few short weeks, i have got my life back and picked up a few computer friends along the way - we help each other, support each other, and laugh and cry together - if you would like to join us, please feel free - no judging, preaching, sermonising or moralising - we are simply ordinary people with a bloody awful illness!

waves to redmoomin

Desire

I am extremely sorry to hear about your relationship and about the struggle you have had. I make no suggestion that you have ever neglected your children through drinking.

However, that isn't what I'm saying and I think you know that. What I am saying is that, in general, even if they are in every other way nice, kind, thoughtful and giving, problem drinkers tend to put themselves first when drinking is concerned. And I am saying that that, although the word is not very nice, is selfish and egotistical.

We are also often egotistical in another way. We tend to think that everything is our responsibility. If the kids are crying - our fault. If the party needs warming up - our job. If an argument needs settling - we really out to intervene.

All of this usually comes from a good place, but the underlying message is, "I am God and I can fix you." The same thinking also exacerbates a constant need to "contribute" or even "lead" conversations - how can this conversation possibly manage without me? I know this because I was as guilty as anyone - but I also know that I was not unique in this respect.

How is this thinking anything other than egotistical? I now know that the universe does not revolve around me and that, if people want entertainment at their wedding, they usually book a singer rather than just waiting for me to show up - but fuck me it took me long enough to learn.

So - no criticsm of you or your relationship or your parenting - just a wondering aloud if we had the same definition of egotism.

And I also notice that you didn't answer the question.

If your children asked you to stop - even thuogh they probably won't because they find you entertaining - but if they did, would you, or would it seem like a big and unreasonable ask?

As to why I kick arse

Because I'm an egomaniac and I think I can fix everyone, of course!

But also because my life only changed for the better when someone else who knew it already told me all this stuff.

I did NOT get myself sober ...

Fair to say that we define egomania differently MIFLAW
Cringe moment coming for me now, was all prepared to say that YES I would give up drinking if the children asked me to stop but if I am to be totally honest I wouldn't because knowing me I would go on the defensive straight away and continue drinking:(

Ooops, looks like I have scared everyone away!!

Safe to come back everyone, am going home and won't be back till the morning:)

Shush now you.

It often goes quiet on here! Life gets in the way of MN - damn it!!

See you tomorrow desire.

www.peele.net/index.html

That's just the general website. Not sure of the bit that helped my friend give up smoking. Stanton Peele specialises in 'addiction'.

I actually appreciated the ass-kicking earlier MIFLAW. You have a wonderfully visual way with words - your point about replacing constipation with dysentry and then trying to control the dysentry illustrates it perfectly and is also an image I may never lose :)

Sorry I disappeared, I decided to leave work a bit early for a change.

Just had a discussion with DH about why I can't come to the barbeque on Saturday and Just Have One Beer. I haven't decided yet whether I will go, but at least he kind of understood that one beer is a not an option.

His mother died of her alcoholism, so I think that he has a picture of her drinking bottles of whisky a day in his head when he thinks of an "alcoholic". But she must also have started somewhere :( And as a result I never met her and my daughter will never know her grandmother.

Puts it in perspective a bit. :(

Bath time/feeding time here so I'm going to say bye for now.

See you all tomorrow for day 11!!!!!!!!

Be strong Babes.

evening all - i have a house full of teenagers so i am skulking about upstairs - god, they talk some bloody drivel and they arnt even pissed!!

i want to say something - there seems to have been quite a bit of anaylising, navel-gazing,intellectulising, call it what you will, on here today - imho, there is not a lot of point in doing that! YOU KNOW if YOU have a problem with drinking like a 'normal' person, so, dont keep on asking why, dont keep on fooling yourself, dont blame every other bugger for it, dont look for excuses to keep doing it and

JUST STOP FUCKING DRINKING!!!

nothing in your life will be improved by you getting pissed - it really is as simple as that!

that is the philosophy of life according to jwn, you may all sit down now!!

:o JWN - Do you think you could start making Tshirts with slogans or keyrings? For those wobbly moments!

Doctor's appointment went well ( I think) - am now on anti depressants but feel like it's actually going to help me in my battle. Don't know which came first but the booze is on it's way out, and I'm going to end up as feisty and fab as the rest of you fairies :o

(Love calling you that, would get decked in RL)

Thankyou very much for sharing that with me Fortheverylasttime.

I will have a good look at the site.

I know what you mean
Thankyou

Day 2 nearly over

toclear - havent you seen the threads about vulgar t-shirts!!

trinity - have that magnum!!! yum yum!

toclear - i found that antids' made me feel quite odd for about a week, dont stop taking them, it does get better quite quickly!

No - I've been zoning on in this thread

i dont know if there is an active thread at the mo, the are often one about quite horrible chidrens t-shirts, you know the sort of thing 'im proof that my mum is a slapper!' uugghhhh shiver, fancy parting with money for soemthing so awful!

Day 3 almost done here - have been busy in the kitchen with my DD's making buns and am now about to tackle Mount Crease

I haven't emailed you mouse for the list - is it just a list of names of those on the bus? My real name is part of my email so I'm a bit paranoid (even though I know mouse won't 'out' me.

I've also name-changed to join this thread but don't really post much with my 'regular' name anyway, ramble ramble....

oh, this is a quiet evening, im hoping thats a good sign?

had a good day here, been as busy as usual, didnt get to meeting again , i am finding that the holidays are disrupting my routine, i have to be in the office more, then when i am home, dd usually needs me for something - i have no desire to drink, havent thought about picking up, but i am missing the meetings - i find reading miflaws posts 'put me in the zone'

oh well, i am off to bed then, see you in the morning!!

I'm off to bed with my book. See you all in the morning. Sleep well.

day 2 over
been on the wii fit

dont want to drink

not really sure why I bothered

wanna feel life

hope everyone is well

"was all prepared to say that YES I would give up drinking if the children asked me to stop but if I am to be totally honest I wouldn't because knowing me I would go on the defensive straight away and continue drinking" - I don't think you're alone on that one ...

Something I sometimes share at meetings is that I used to think, if you had a life like mine you'd drink like I did. Only in sobriety did I realise that if you drank like I did, you'd have a life like mine.