brave battling babes get even better without the booze!

[jesuswhatnext]

10 weeks ago i started a thread asking for help - i was in a very desperate place, totally dependent on alchohol, unhappy, lonely and floundering around trying to make sense of it all. i was in danger of losing everything i hold dear.

in those few short weeks, i have got my life back and picked up a few computer friends along the way - we help each other, support each other, and laugh and cry together - if you would like to join us, please feel free - no judging, preaching, sermonising or moralising - we are simply ordinary people with a bloody awful illness!

so talk more? Right, I never thought of that one.

Maddogs - do you not feel more shy and embarassed next time you see people because of what you have said/done while drunk?

It's a false courage (bitter voice of experience!)

I love this thread - I never know what I am going to find myself reading. Can be so serious or loads of fun too! (Definitely quite serious at the moment!)

maddogs - is it coming up to 3 where you are or after it already??

mouse - have you recovered from shredding?

toclear - yes to what you have just posted! I often was humiliated by what I had either said/ done in person or said on the phone. So the next time I was going to be in contact with that person I had to be pissed and therefore I would embarrass myself again. So I would have to get pissed again... and so the vicious circle continued!

I know it's false courage, and I know drinking isn't doing me any favours (that's why I'm here).

And I know that I'm a grown woman who should suck it up and learn to deal with social situations, which I really want to do actually. I do try and talk more etc etc, but when you get the brain-freeze and panic attacks, it is more difficult than that.

I can't remember how we even got onto this topic! But I know that if I am going to stay away from alcohol this is something I have to confront and get over.

Yes Red - I did exactly the same. I could literally curl up and hide thinking through my top 10 drunken moments of shame

It's 3.45 here, Moomin, I went at 3 for a little walk and some chocolate! Was very nice!

Red

I'm all fresh and gorgeous now. Amazing what a shower can achieve!!

I think it's kind of 'tough love' going on here. It's great that we are talking about it - however we got onto the subject - because it's obviously something that causes you a lot of pain and worry x

Last post was for maddogs!

Have said and done so many embarrassing things when drunk...don't even ask about last year's work Christmas party

Thanks Moomin.

My DH also doesn't understand why I can't just "talk more". :(

toclear - it would be difficult to narrow mine down to 10, argh!

maddogs - glad you got out and about for a few mins. How are you feeling now?

mouse - you sound all rejuventated and ready to to face the rest of the day!

It definitely helped taking a little break. Just an hour and half to get through now. Had really better do some work and get off mumsnet - being fired wouldn't really help!

maddogs - definitely not! Catch up later x

I find it difficult to talk to people when sober but when I am drunk I will tell them my deepest and darkest secrets, and I spend the next two days cringing at what I might have said:(

desire - snap.

desire and mouse - yep, me too! Ugh!

maddogs, I am not sure that most people would want you to talk more. In my experience, most people are only too happy to talk about themselves, and what they actually want is for you to ask them the right question so that they can talk about themselves and their interests, and for you to sho the appropraite surprise / awe / laughter / that they want.

Learning the right questions to ask is something that I am sure you can do.

There is nothing MORE boring than listening to a group of 'funny' men/women all trying to outell each others storied, and no-one actually listening.

Red painting my toenails, (red as it happens), feeding DS, hoping the rain holds off so we can go to the ducks, ignoring CBeebies, and generally being fabulous for the rest of my day until DD and DH get home!!

As always some wonderful words of wisdom from venus. (venus I really get the feeling that you are getting a lot of serenity or similar in your life at the moment. Your posts are just lovely and calming x)

mouse - sounds wonderful!

I do absolutely understand why you can't just "talk more" - but, if you think about it, that really is the answer, isn't it? The implied question was not so much, "why don't you do that?" as "what on earth do you think drinking can do to make that happen?"

Have often wondered why it feels like I am detached from my life and now suddenly I am realising that maybe drinking dulled my senses even if it is only in last couple of years that my drinking has gotten worse.

[didn't stay away for very long...]

Miflaw - help me out here. It really does feel to me as though drinking helps to make that happen, by relaxing me and allowing me to get past my inner blocks, removing my inhibitions, whatever. Do you really think that drinking does NOT help? Or do you think that a little helps but I can't stick to a little?

Venus I totally agree about the people trying to out-story each other!! I'm ok if I can have a one-on-one conversation with someone, I actually like that. It's in big groups, or doing small talk, or especially in German that I struggle.