brave battling babes get even better without the booze!

[jesuswhatnext]

10 weeks ago i started a thread asking for help - i was in a very desperate place, totally dependent on alchohol, unhappy, lonely and floundering around trying to make sense of it all. i was in danger of losing everything i hold dear.

in those few short weeks, i have got my life back and picked up a few computer friends along the way - we help each other, support each other, and laugh and cry together - if you would like to join us, please feel free - no judging, preaching, sermonising or moralising - we are simply ordinary people with a bloody awful illness!

venus
no I've had a shit day

I alwasy have day long hangovers
i wont feel better till tomorrow morning

Ah well, at least that is something to look forward to. Be good to yourself this evening. Can you get the girls settled off to bed early and have an early night yourself?

they are in bed
i'll not be long at all

Hello everybody. Still sober here.

Algee, lovely to see you. I have been on here such a lot while dp is away. I've been trying to keep busy, but it is quite strange having such a long time on my own.

When is your move planned? Keep safe.

Hey venus...rudde of me not to welcome all the new people, but it's so busy and I can't keep up! You've managed without dp though? Went tits up for me when I had company again, so watch that. I'd like to say it was sociable drinking, but no, straight back in to the 'pour one/hide one, top up when nobody's looking' crap. ffs I even hid the eveidence again. Nasty. Still feling fragile...I don't want to be this person, but she seems to have body snatched me too thoroughly for me to be able to escape the fact that she is me! Wtf was that??? Haven't read John Wyndeham for decades...

Hello venus and algee. Hope you're both OK. Off to bed soon. Have buggered knees with exercise running binge! Can hardly walk...

I feel really fucking ashamed of myself

That'll teach you!! Running indeed...

What's up Trinity?

Trinity, why do you feel ashamed?

Trinity whatever has happened try not to worry, if you're drinking just take yourself off to bed with a glass of water. Brush your teeth. Go to bed.

christiana...sorry, hope you haven't really damaged them... i'm way too flippant.

No don't worry, algee, very sweet of you to be concerned, I'm hoping I haven't damaged them... Am always thinking I'm invincible owing to being very fit when I was younger... Sadly at 34 it appears I am going downhill fast!

I drank two bottles of wine last night

today is day 1

I know the hangover wont be helping how I feel right now but with 16 out of the last 19 days sober I cant realy see why I bothered to heave a drink last night

pointless, made me feel like shit, was fun at the start of the evening but then it just gets blurry and I felt so so so sick, hurting, wobbly and shaky this morning

its just not good for me, why would I do it

the house is stil clean and tidy, I stayed in bed most of the day and the kids milled about but they seem to be becoming very well trained and they didn't eat anywhere but the kitchen and they didput there rubbih in the bin and when I got out of bed to put them to bed [bkush] I then took more tab and caught up with the stuff I would normally have done throughout the day and the house is back to where it was before I had a bug, fucking wanky i=dea of having a drink

pft

twat

Algee, I find that with dp away I wake up early in the morning and can't get back to sleep. Then later in the day I feel tired. And that makes me want a drink. I sometimes think, 'well no-one will know, not even those kind and understanding people on the computer. I could nave a drink, and not even tell them.'

I guess that's what MIFLAW would call stinking thinking. Feeling that I could hide my drinking from a bunch of anonymous people on a computer forum, when in reality the only person I would be fooling would be myself. So, so stupid to have got to this state.

Managing to hold off though.

'pft

twat'

I think that might be my favourite ever mnet quote Trinity

God know why any of us did or do it, but chin up Trinity, you're triffic and tomorrow is another day as Scarlet O'hara would say...

Trinity, I'm not one to talk just now, but 'one day at a time' as they say!! Sorry can't be wise, I'm a litle bit up shit street too!!

venus...when I posted the other night, I made myself confess, and 'leave' in shame, because I really thought that if I didn't, I'd pretend to you lot that nothing had happened. I wish I could understand. Since my 'few day binge' though, I am thoroughly freaked again... idrank a fraction of what IO was on, but thought I was dying the hangover was so severe. I wsa drinking more than that everyu night then working full time a few weeks ago. How much must my body hate me, before we even get on to the rst...

Trinity, I think MIFLAW would advise printing your post out and looking at it the next time you think it is such a good idea to have a drink.

I know just what you mean. The initial hit feels so good, and I just want more of that feeling, so I keep on drinking.

At least your house is tidy and it sounds as though your dds are benefitting from your more structured approach. You really started sounding brighter last week Trinity, maybe the combination of getting things sorted out in the house, taking your tablets regularly and not being hungover and feeling crap.

being hungover and full of remorse is such a crap feeling. Rotten in your body and rotten in your head. But look at how well you have done recently. And tomorrow will be day 2. And you'll be starting out with a house that isn't a pit. It is all good steps.

Yeah, I think it's what other have said about never seeing our hangovers through to the end when we are constantly drinking. So when we've had a period of not drinking and our bodies are 'clean', then bloody hell do we notice the horror of the poisons that we are putting into our bodies.

fwiw, I don't think our bodies hate us, I think they love us, and that is why they work so hard to process the poison that is alcohol out of our systems, and in the process give us such hangovers.

I am glad you did post the other night Algee.

...not great posting on a sobriety thread when you're shit faced though

I don't think this is a sobriety thread. It's a thread for people like us who have a problem drinking 'sensibly'.

I don't think that posting drunk will make anyone else on here have a drink - we are all well enought able to do that for ourselves. After all we've had lots of practice at that before we knew you.

I found your post helped me, it made me think about what I would do in that situation, hence my previous post about the stinking thinking. I don;t think you realise how much you've helped me by posting throughout all of these threads.

Hi wasindie (and little babe), I am sure that I can use my self-pity as an excuse to have a drink. "Oh I am so crap, I might as well get pissed"

Have a good sleep whenever your next chance is

wasindie...dreamt about you last night, how about that for stalker behaviour!

... not a morning person, me too! Shakes in the morning...it's 'cos my blood sugar's low, silly! Thing is, I've always forced myself out with the dog early doors (when dh has been here, of course!) as part of my kill or cure hangover remedy!

When I had my big whiskey binge the other night, I remember thinking how much easier it was to 'think' when I was drunk. It's like I could allow myself to look at myself and my life honestly, I guess because I had dulled my senses sufficiently that itt was safe to do so. I really really felt at the time it was ok, good even. But I know that's crap. Supposed to link to what you said wasindie, but not sure if the thread follows outside of my head...