brave battling babes get even better without the booze!

[jesuswhatnext]

10 weeks ago i started a thread asking for help - i was in a very desperate place, totally dependent on alchohol, unhappy, lonely and floundering around trying to make sense of it all. i was in danger of losing everything i hold dear.

in those few short weeks, i have got my life back and picked up a few computer friends along the way - we help each other, support each other, and laugh and cry together - if you would like to join us, please feel free - no judging, preaching, sermonising or moralising - we are simply ordinary people with a bloody awful illness!

thanks venus... doesn't stop me feeling like a tit though!! Haven't actually dared re-read... think I was restrained, but I had composed war and peace in my head!

Ok!

Sleep well all!

i think we can all fall into a pit of self-pity, self-hatred, its just that drinking makes it even worse!

algee and trinity, i am so glad you came back, so far, i havent 'slipped up' ( im truely not saying that to be show-off/better than you comment) i still feel that everyday i am one very small step away from picking up, in a strange way, your posts 'the morning after the night before' show me that there is still a reason, after a slip up, to just get back on it and try again - one slip up does not mean that i will be drinking just the same as before iywsim?, im not articulating very well and i really hope you get what i am trying to say?

Serial lurker here - I remember the first night jwn posted and have followed this thread ever since.

Tonight I've decided to post because I think I'm in trouble and don't want to be trapped in this circle of denial for much longer.

I never drink during the day and have my holier-than-thou days when I don't drink (about 3 a week).

I know I drink too much though and I want to stop - I'm scared about lots of things; my health but most importantly my children. They need me

Hope you don't mind me joining in - I had intentions of 'stopping' tonight but decided to see the weekend out and start tomorrow, how pathetic is that?!

hi needsto, not pathetic at all! we all have to have a 'beginnging' moment - monday is as good a day as any!

JWN...three hangovers in as many days, they never used to be that bad! But still the urge is there...it helps me to read that you still feel 'one very small step away from picking up'...makes me feel less a failure if you see what I mean?

Needs to...welcome. Start tomorrow, I don't feel the best person to be telling you how good it feels to stop, but it really does!!

going to bed chaps.

needto - tell us about yourself! how many dcs? are you a young bird or an old un'? me and venus are REALLY old, the rest are horribly young and lovley and seem to have taken up exercise

venus and i are much more sensible and meditate , far less wearing on the bones!

algee - you arnt a failure you daft tart!

Thank you jwn - you are such an inspiration, you really are.

I often find myself trying to 'justify' my drinking, such as thinking 'well I don't go on weekend-long benders' or 'well I don't drink as much as XYZ'.

But deep down I know that I'm out of control and have been for a long time. It doesn't help that my dp is no doubt exactly the same as me - we egg eachother on.

I often think back to a time when I was super fit and worked out a lot. I rarely drank then as I was in such a 'my body is a temple' phase and I'd really like to go back to that way of thinking - although I was quite obsessive about that even and was calorie counting to the extent I was underweight.

It's all about balance and I can't seem to find my 'middle ground'.

I'm 32 and have 3 DCs (from 10 to 4).

I have an addictive personality but really want to rein myself in.

Hello needtoand welcome. I fear that jesus is terribly lovely too (and blonde).

Thank you venus - it's actually quite a relief to share my problem with others as it makes it harder to 'deny'.

ahh needsto, the old addictive personality! i have got one of those!

from waht you say, you sound like a typical 'problem drinker' ( i wont say alcoholic, that for you to decide on), i think its partly the myriad ways in which we can deny the problem that makes it worse iyswim?, people who can drink senisbly dont have to go through that 'list' in their heads, they just dont have anotther drink!

aww, i love you venus!

I torment myself on a daily basis - either because I've drank too much the previous night or because it's been days since I've had a drink and that old 'G'wan, you deserve one'

I'm always thinking about alcohol in one way or another and I know that it's not supposed to be like this.

My dad is an alcoholic - 2 bottles of wine a night since as far back as I can remember. I even use him as a yardstick to 'justify' my own intake as it's 'not as bad as his'.

When you write it all down it seems so pathetic - I think I'll follow the advice from this thread and print this off!

night night x

Night x

i have to go bed now my eyes are drooping!,

needsto - tomorrow is the start of a new life you if you want it!, no more torment, guilt, misery, weighing up how much you have, how long you have to drink it etc cos, like me tomorrow

WE WILL NOT BE DRINKING!!

night all, see you in the morning!

L xxxxxxxxxxx

How do you manage to stay awake so late Wasindie?

Morning all. Hope all is well with everyone and welcome to new people.

Morning all!

Trinity and algee - thanks for your posts last night. It really gives me hope that you two have picked up a drink, but then had the strength to start back at day 1. I'm so scared that if I do drink again I won't have that strength to stop.

Welcome needsto - yes, the old 'deserving a drink'. That was one of my favourites. I'm starting to believe that actually I deserve not to drink. I'm 32 too, with 3 dc's ranging from 7 months to 12. I hope that you've woken up today and feel hopeful for the future. This time last week I had the hangover from hell, I found this thread then somehow have not had a drink since.

Hope you and your dp managed some sleep between you wasindie - interesting about the hormones.

CTS - fingers crossed that you hear today

Day 8 begins...:)

I still feel like shit

ugh

what have i done