Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

brave battling babes get even better without the booze!

994 replies

jesuswhatnext · 08/08/2010 15:27

10 weeks ago i started a thread asking for help - i was in a very desperate place, totally dependent on alchohol, unhappy, lonely and floundering around trying to make sense of it all. i was in danger of losing everything i hold dear.

in those few short weeks, i have got my life back and picked up a few computer friends along the way - we help each other, support each other, and laugh and cry together - if you would like to join us, please feel free - no judging, preaching, sermonising or moralising - we are simply ordinary people with a bloody awful illness!

OP posts:
TrinityRhino · 09/08/2010 09:11

ok I have some lighter choices tesco ready meals in the freezer
I know I know crap but not that crap

they have the WW pointing on the back o them and limited sat fat

Fortheverylasttime · 09/08/2010 09:14

Hope this cheers up anyone who has had a 'relapse'. I just found it, and it proves it cay come out with this (posted on Amazon):
From the Author
A SALUTARY TALE
The programme of spiritual recovery first elaborated by the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous and advocated in ?No Big Deal? is, amongst other things, a programme that requires of us rigorous honesty ? honesty with ourselves and honesty with our fellows in recovery.
For this reason, it is right that I should advise my readers that, regrettably, after a period of very nearly twenty years in good recovery, I allowed myself (gradually and without premeditation) to slide into a state of desperate and disastrous relapse. I am not the first counsellor to have crashed in this way and, alas, it is unlikely that I shall be the last. I am, excitingly, a ?newcomer? again.
With hindsight and with the benefit of generous feedback from my fellows in recovery, it is clear that, slowly and by imperceptible degrees, I had ceased to heed my own counsel. I began to allow other concerns (work, relationships, family bereavements, financial worries etc.) to take precedence over the daily disciplines that are crucial to maintaining and improving spiritual health. The results were inexorable, predictable and catastrophic.
All this notwithstanding, I do not now retract a single word of ?No Big Deal?. The book itself was, and is, sound.
It was I, its fallible author, who was and (like every other person afflicted with addictive disease) will REMAIN fundamentally unsound.
Without the daily and conscientious practice of ALL of the principles of the Twelve Step programme of recovery, we can become very seriously deranged. And that, over a period of some seven months, is exactly what happened to me.
It need not happen to you.
Paradoxically, I am today grateful for this rather major learning experience. I have begun work on a new book which deals precisely with these issues. I hope to approach them with a deeper and more comprehensive understanding of the complex factors involved. The provisional title for this new work, though something of a cliche, is irresistible. My agents, editors and publishers permitting, it will be called (of course) ?The Real Deal?.
Please continue to do what I, for a time, omitted to do. May you allow your own Higher Power to bless and guide you, this day and always. With best wishes,

Yours ever,
John Coats

About the Author
John Coats was in active addiction to alcohol, cocaine and other addictive processes for nearly twenty-five years. He has been in recovery for more than eighteen years and is an Addictions Counsellor.

He holds degrees from St Andrews University and from Cambridge. John is now the Director of Treatment at East Coast recovery, in Suffolk
n happen to the best of gurus.

Hth!!

jesuswhatnext · 09/08/2010 09:14

moomin - huge hugs to you!!you poor old thing

OP posts:
venusandmars · 09/08/2010 09:15

Hi gloup, nice to see you back. It is tough isn't it? In all my previous attempts at not drinking I keep thinking that I'm fine, I'm in control, and I can go a few days without drinking.

But it never takes long before drinking 2 days a weeks becomes drinking 4 days a week becomes drinking 6 days a week (still thinking I'm OK 'cos I can have an alcohol free day).....

For me the difference this time is that I keep on accepting that I do have drink problem, and that I know what will happen if I have a drink today. The other different thing is really, really just focussing on today, or this hour or whatever measure of time is bearable.

Well done gloup on getting to day 4. I had many years when I only made it is far as day 1. Day after day after day.

And hello and welcome to fluxy.

RedMoomin · 09/08/2010 09:15

Come talk to me Babes! Need your strength and words of comfort...

RedMoomin · 09/08/2010 09:16

You're there! Thanks for the hugs JWN.

jesuswhatnext · 09/08/2010 09:17

get some breakfast trinity!!!

OP posts:
venusandmars · 09/08/2010 09:18

Trinity. Eat the apple and a tuna sandwich (have you got bread?). Now. Cut the apple into quarters. And eat each piece slowly, chewing it well.

Will come back to the rest laater once you've eaten.

jesuswhatnext · 09/08/2010 09:18

moomin - can you tell us what happened?

OP posts:
TrinityRhino · 09/08/2010 09:21

I'm having wild mushroom rissoto

not keen on apples and feel really sick so dont fancy tuna

also no bread lol

venusandmars · 09/08/2010 09:23

Hi red, I am just glad that you have come back on here and posted, rather than just slinking away.

Yes you have been here before on day one, and you also know that you can keep going just focussing on today and getting through today without a drink.

Sounds like it is tough at home, but I bet that being drunk doesn't help.

Anyway. You know the rules, don't beat yourself up over it, but use it as a way of recognising what triggered you to pick up the first drink.

RedMoomin · 09/08/2010 09:24

Yes, I left my flat on Sat night, went to the shop and bought wine (one bottle). Drank it all. Then went for a drink in the pub. Then stopped. Met a friend for 'coffee' yesterday and drank 3 large glasses of wine, went home. Didn't drink any more although I really, really wanted to. Had a huge row with DH, stayed at FiL's last night, am in work now although I have booked this afternoon as holiday. Feeling dreadful physically, emotionally and mentally. DH does not want me at home but I refuse to go and stay elsewhere. It's all such a bloody mess. Feeling very sorry for myself which is not helpful!

venusandmars · 09/08/2010 09:25

Trinity, wild mushroom risotto for breakfast is fantastic. Well done you. In half an hours time you will feel so much better.

jesuswhatnext · 09/08/2010 09:27

oh dear moomin - i really feel for you! Sad, no real words of wisdom re your marriage, is he very angry because you picked up or does it go deeper than that?

OP posts:
RedMoomin · 09/08/2010 09:27

Thanks venus. I am grateful that I have come back and been honest. It would actually be quite easy to lie on here because you don't 'know' me, you can't see me etc. But it would go completely against the spirit of this thread - and would be pointless to lie! My name's Moomin and I'm an alcoholic and yes, I f*cked up over the weekend but I am not going to dwell on it. Too much anyway!

TrinityRhino · 09/08/2010 09:29

I may not feel fantastic but i'll fell less like a squished slug with twat tattoed on my sluggy foot

RedMoomin · 09/08/2010 09:30

It's a mixture of things really JWN. He is fuming that I drank but there are other issues too. I find that he's rather unsupportive - like he goes out about 3 times a week and gets pissed and I hate being around him when he's like that. Also I feel like since we got married he does not make any effort with me anymore. It's like once he 'got' me he stopped trying as hard.

jesuswhatnext · 09/08/2010 09:31

must go and get ready for work, back later!

OP posts:
MissPerrier · 09/08/2010 09:31

Trinity sorry you feel so down. I don't know if this will help but I think the weighloss from not drinking will kick in later. Maybe you could have a peep at your posts last week, you really inspired me, I think you are fabulous and very strong. Smile

jesuswhatnext · 09/08/2010 09:32

sorry moomin, didnt mean to cut you off!, have you thought about relate?, could help, you never know!

OP posts:
RedMoomin · 09/08/2010 09:32

Good morning MissP, how are you doing? It's your turn to inspire me - I am back at the start and feeling shitty to the extreme!

jesuswhatnext · 09/08/2010 09:33

its no good him getting angry at you for drinking if he is gettting pissed regularly!, he dosent exactly have the moral high ground does he?

OP posts:
RedMoomin · 09/08/2010 09:33

Trinity - you are putting into words how I feel today!

jesuswhatnext · 09/08/2010 09:34

sorry moomin, i really have to go to work, back in about an hour!

OP posts:
venusandmars · 09/08/2010 09:34

Redmoomin, life is crap sometimes isn't it.

I find that I can be at my worst behaviour when I've had a few of drinks and want more, but can't / don't have it. It's like my anger at not having another drink is directed at both myself and at any other person who is pissing me off. The alcohol I have had takes the control away, so the nice wit and wisdom (ha!) that you see on here becomes cruel, snarling and vindictive, knowing just what to say to hurt and wound.

You always sound as though you get a lot of support from your AA group, and you have friends who are also in AA. This is the time to use them. Is your meeting tonight or this afternoon.

I'm not a huggy person normally, but I'd hug you now if you were here.

Swipe left for the next trending thread