Struggling to accept DP sisters will not accept our dd

[MCDL]

DD now 4.2, although after some time dd is now accepted by Grandmother and brothers, sisters continue to want to have nothing to do with her. They are close to DP children 18 and 23, who also continue to dis own her. Finding it difficult to accept this. Feel if they took the lead, dp's children would follow. Feel they using dp's children as an excuse to continue this ridiculous behaviour .... Any advice ....

When he left, the younger one was a teenager, not capable of even legally holding a job to make her own way.

Imagine your dad leaving you with an alcoholic, dangerously-depressed mother to live with someone else and how you'd feel, especially because it would appear his mistress is the one pressing him to repair his relationship with her in order to facilitate a relationship with her family by him.

What would you think of him? Yeah, Dad, it's all water under the bridge now, your OW is right. Let's all be happy.

Or, wow, you ditched me, then a child, with a parent who was incapable to shack up with someone else and now you want me to pretend to like you only because she insists on it?

Good god, how many times do we have to do this thread!
OP, when YOU and YOUR DP, acknowledge what you did and the people you hurt, and dont expect everyone to move on because that whats suits you, then and maybe only then, will this have a chance of a decent ending!
You honestly need to grow up!

I've read the whole thread , thanks for the instruction . I stand by what I said

Glad it worked out for you, frank. This OP has numerous other threads and posts about this issue, always the same type of vein, too.

Thank Frank for your post ..

Expat
"they're in a small place in Ireland where everyone knows their business and his family isn't speaking to him."

This is not the case .... dp family do speak to him, his brothers and mother also recognise our dd ..... his sisters also speak to him, but their loyalty is with dp children, they do not want to recognise or see dd ....

And your point is? What did you expect, MCDL? Honestly, what else did you expect? For them to get over it because it suits you?

You've started thread after thread, post after post about this. The same people have told you the same things. Over and over. You don't want to hear what the majority have to say so you don't and just start another thread.

People have even asked if you're aspy even, because things don't seem to register with you.

Then you go off for days and pick a few little bits out then go back to whingeing about how done by you all are, completely ignoring hundreds of posts.

There's nothing you can do about how they feel.

Move on. Deal.

They may accept her in the future, they may never.

That's how it is.

Yes they may do ... Time will tell. DP is gone to collect his son today. DD is with him.

Wow. You'd think that, since your DP knows how his son feels about DD, he'd be a man and collect his son on his own rather than try to force things.

No wonder his kids are so pissed off. They deserve a metal for even speaking to him.

Sounds like a real catch there! You two are made for each other.

[rolls eyes and walks off thinking, 'Your parents must be so proud!']

bit startled about that tbh

Hopefully it didn't end up a real bust up and slanging match or anything like that

It went well this evening, this been the 3rd time this has happened ... DP son knew as he has done previously that dd would be there .... ...

glad it went well

Thanks ZZZ, they had a nice trip 2 hours, stopped off for bite to eat on way home ...

I've read all the other threads. i've been here for over ten years.

I don't think the views expressed here are typical of what those in real life(even in small Irishtowns) think.
I have no personal experience but have several friends / acquaintances who have been through similar.

MCDL there is a good chance you will all one day get along , or maybe even become friends . In my example above the once estranged teenage children are now in their 30s and work for their dad and his second wife, and regularly all have dinner with the first wife.

However I don't think there is any way you can hasten this, and it may never turn out as a happy extended family.
if your dp's family see he is much happier now , over the years they may well come round. But might never.

Dont fret too much about it.
Someone once said "all misery is the result of others not acting in a way you would want them to"

Live your own life, and if others dont approve, rise above.

Thank u frank, think most of the people on this thread and previous one would like to see different. I do know why ... Thank u for your post and encouragement ...

I have also taken none of these personal attacks on board ...

You said last week

"DP children excluded of course, in time hopefully they will acknowledge their half sister."

Well, if the DS has met your DD three times and stopped off for lunch and all sorts with her then he is acknowledging her? What more do you want from him?

You've painted the picture that your DP and DD are utterly shunned by his evil children, but I wonder if deep down this is about you and their acknowledgement of your relationship with your DP, not your DD, she's just a convenient symbol of it.

I hve to say I really struggle with this thread and I really don't understand the situation. I also thought there had been no interaction / acknowledgement by dp's other children of your dd

so things are moving?

'Just because you want it all roses around the door and floaty clouds doesn't mean it will be. When a marriage is split up like that, there is unavoidably a price to pay.

Not at all unavoidable; DH's father DID leave MIL after 35 years marriage and whilst he knows full well I think that was a bad thing to do in terms of morals (DH feels the same) after a eyar otr so of rebalancing DH and I are now closer to him than ever, 8and* to his Fiancee that he left MIL for. MIL may be the 'victim' in the split but she sure as anything was the protagonist in the marriage and it would immature to paint her as helpless innocent nd FIL's finacee as Evil Hubby Stealer (blimey if you met ehr yopu'd PMSL at that notion, seriously).

If they ahd children 9won't happen now but might have done for a while) we'd have fully accepted them without question, as would my boys.

I think the problem is the aunts (dp's sisters) since his brothers and mother are ok with dd and the dc from his marriage or atleast the ds sees OP's dd

so that leaves his dd and the two aunts who won't acknowledge her and thus it is all still up in the air and not somehow settled I suppose.

If my brother did what your DH did, I would have no further contact with him if possible and by extension his new family. None at all, all of my energy would be spent on my nieces/nephews who had been left with a single alcoholic for a parent.

Oh YY to franklampoons (although as another 10 yearster am trying to ID you FL lol....)

Thing is it may never work out: good friend was born in a very similar situation and apart from one meeting just before her Dad passed (he as sixties at her birth) there's been no contact. She's an only child and a mother of 2 going through bad times afterr her hub turned out to bea sex trafficking wanker and sent down (yay, shame it's not for long enough IMO)n yet still and for ever now there is no contact. Sad.