Is it possible to have affair but stay happily married/attached? Pls be honest.

[MabelMay]

Hello All

I really need your honesty and experiences/opinions.
Without going into too much detail as I do wish to remain as anonymous as possible obviously, I have recently found myself falling for someone other than my DP. We have had our problems in the past, DP and I, but we have two lovely little kids together and I've never really been distracted by another man since being with him (8 years). Until now. Recently, after some months of feeling unbelievably attracted to this person, I've found out he feels exactly the same. I feel like I'm on the precipice of something. I have such strong feelings for this guy and have not felt this happy in years. I really want it to happen and yet I know you'll all think me stupid/selfish/naive/etc. But please tell me: Have any of you ever managed to have a brief fling/affair without it destroying your other relationship? Or know of anyone who has? Is it crazy to even think this can happen? I say brief because he is leaving the country for good at the end of the year... am I mad?

Wish there was an edit facility! What I'm saying is MM is that I feel you are grieving OM, but also perhaps grieving the loss of what you once had with h. I can tell from your posts that you intend to give this one last try, and like I said, I think you are being very mature about it. My heart aches for you.

Hi all of you - I meant to post almost immediately in reply to thank you for your last posts and to say I'll definitely PM you, wordweaver and ilmt, once I get over this big hump of just getting back to "normal" and not feeling raw about OM. Won't be long I'm sure.

Reason I didn't post is because DP suddenly realised I'd been on MN a lot and started coming on here and reading posts because, he said, it was "like being let in on a secret world of what women really think". He asked me what I'd posted on here etc etc and I almost wanted to tell him, but I didn't in the end. Anyway, I didn't post for a while as I didn't want to bump this up to the top of the "pile" - he'd have recognised me and our situation almost immediately.

You're right - the panic is about confronting my real feelings and unhappiness in the relationship - everything I was running away from. And yes, the grief I feel is also about my relationship with my DP.

Anyway, I think this is finally GOODBYE to this thread!

I'm sure I'll be back with a new one soon - either to celebrate getting my relationship with DP back on track (feel very doubtful about this right now) or to talk about the steps to separating. We'll see. I won't second guess.

Hope all of you are well. MMx

Lovely to hear from you MM. I look forward to hearing how you are doing when you are ready.

I was just wondering if you had updated and came on here specifically to look for you - very lucky as you had just posted!

Best wishes,

WWx