Big Farma in Little Ambridge - come and talk The Archers talk

[PseudoBadger]

New thread for the beginning of the pheasant season.

Of course you shouldn't stop listening! what would be the possible point of that!?

Daniel does come across as a total knob.

One less thing to moan about, steamingnits? :o

Yes, Dan is bloody insufferable. Smug knobber like his dad

Am I the only one who was imagining SHula and Alistair were discovering wank socks galore in Darrel's pit of filth? Especially when Alastair went 'UUURGH!'

I was imagining skidmarks on the sheets :o

Ewwwwww

Are we meant to believe that Shula doesn't have a daily?

I think we should be a bit more cautious about what we say....ppeat is Linda.

Yes exactly Minimammoth and I need some brain bleach after even trying to ignore the posts about Darryl's sheets FGS ladies!!!

Shula definitely would have a daily or at least a twice weekly MrsCampbell

Suggestions for thread titles please?

My first is "Die Darrell Die". It's a work in progress however...

Never mind the "daily". I remember when Shula moved in to The Stables it was supposed to be huge in comparison with her cottage. So why only one bathroom - that Darrell keeps them all out of?

"POOR DEAD DARRELL IN THE MANGER"?

"Lovely view of the petrol station"

"Just how does one destroy a VHS tape?"

A daily what MrsCB?

Dead dogs and deadbeats?
Or something involving a countdown to Clarrie's breakdown/health crisis over Christmas.

Confessions of Shula's Daily

The Stables' Soup Kitchen

"A lady what does"
"A mrs. mop"
"A housekeeper"
"A cleaner"

Blimey I never thought there were so many titles for a home help!

Its quite funny as no cleaners etc are ever mentioned apart from emma - I'd love to hear from the Jenny's cleaner.

Didn't Ilona 'do' for Peggy till she moved?

POOR DEAD DARRELL IN THE MANGER"?

I like that one

I thought Hygiene Technician was the new job descriptor.

My prediction is that Rob Titchytitch is the gaslighter. He will talk Jess into living in Darrington so he can continue to shag his way round Ambridge behind her back. As soon as they've moved, he will rekindle his affair with Hellin. He is also going to move in on Kirsty - she is doing that classic Mills'n'Boon "I can't stand him" thing at the moment, and let's face it, the shine is going to come off the Sausage Baron pretty quickly.

Did anyone else hear That Mitchell and Webb Sound? There was a running joke that culminated in a well-aimed swipe at The Archers. David Mitchell suggested that the best way to get through TA was to down several litres of White Lightning at speed. I know what he means.

7.02 tomorrow [please]

Continuity Announcer: And now it's over to Ambridge, where Shula is in for a shock.

Dumdidum etc etc.

'Darrell! Darrell!' [indrawn breath] 'Oh no, no!' [weepy noises, sound of sensibly slippered feet retreating to the landing] 'Alistair!'

[short pause to indicate change of scene]

Alan: Don't blame yourself, Shula. There's nothing more you could have done. The doctor says his irritating whine reached fatal levels in the early hours, and that's irreversible, of course.

[In the background there are whoops and shrieks from the Village Green as Jill leads the rest of the village in a festive conga]

Shula: I've decided the best way to cope with this is never to mention this whole sorry business again, and especially never to utter his name. I hope you can all indulge me on this.

Alistair: Yes! Yes! Yes!

Dum di dum etc.

[Sounds of more whoops and shrieks drown out Continuity Announcer as the entire complement of Radio 4 staff dance a festive conga through Broadcasting House to celebrate the demise of He Who Will Henceforth Never Be Named.]