Request from relatives of old owners to see the house - WWYD?

[MN2025]

We purchased our forever home earlier this year and ever since we have been refurbishing the property to make it how we want it!

We had a letter arrive in the post the other day from the daughter of the previous owners (she was the executor as was a probate property) and has asked if she can come with her family to see the property for sentimental reasons.

I’m half inclined to say yes… but half inclined to say no. I know people will say ‘it’s your house, do what you want’ but to be honest, the property looks completely different to how it was when we first picked up the keys that it wouldn’t be recognisable so the sentimental value wouldn’t really be there and I personally think they just want to be ‘nosey’ and see what we’ve done to it….
Secondly, they were awkward throughout the sale process to the point we nearly pulled out and they had left a loft full of junk plus other items when we had specifically said ‘vacant possession’

Thoughts?

I’ve recently moved into the steet down from where my grandparents lived. The new owners have been doing work to the garden (think more building walls etc.) and the garden was my grandad pride and joy. I wouldn’t have dreamt of knocking or sending a letter to ask to see the house as it’s the new owners home and I know they would have updated it to suit them but I did wonder about the new walls etc. Whilst walking past, as it’s on the dog walk route, the owners were in the garden so I stopped, explained who I was and asked about the garden changes. I was so touched that they told me about the changes and that they still had the garden plaque saying ‘ grandads names garden’, albeit moved to a different part of the garden but still there none the less.

They haven’t been out of the house a year. They’ll be wanting annual visits. I’d have said yes if you’d said you bought it 20 years ago, but not less than 12 months.

No, its just weird....

I might be tempted to reply asking if they will be collecting all the rubbish they left behind.
We were introduced to the lady who had lived in our house for 50 years before her husband's death when she went into a village bungalow, we asked if she would like to visit but she said No thank you, the people who first bought it had extended and made massive changes and she preferred to remember it as it was which I perfectly understood.

I completely agree, this is about the stuff that was left behind - they have got it into their heads there was something of value in amongst it (although in reality its probably not worth what they think).

They know if they ask you if you still have the stuff you will look through it and find what they are after, but you will find if you have them round, the conversation will come round to "oh, we left some boxes, can we take them".

Would be awkward.

The sentimental stuff is nonsense, with clearing, probate, selling, they would have had months to look to their hearts content.

No, because they had a chance before selling it.

It's a slippery slope letting randoms in, who want to have a pootle around a house they used to own/live in. There's too much of a chance that they'll take the piss and want to keep returning. A big no from me for sure.

I know a few posters have said that they would let people in/have been let in. and that it was cathartic, and the people were hugely helpful, and 'kind' and 'accommodating,' and 'welcoming,' and all that jazz. That's nice, but someone who chooses to NOT let people in, and chooses to NOT want to talk to them, is not doing anything wrong. And they should not be made to feel that they are

The people who are super accommodating are not better people than those who say no. People are entitled to say no without anyone trying to make them feel bad about it, and trying to make them feel like anyone who accommodates random strangers is somehow superior.

I would certainly not be letting anyone sprinkle their dead relative's ashes over my garden. Too much risk of them wanting to keep returning!

Nah..... very CF in my opinion....

It wasn't quite the same for me, but when my marriage ended we sold the house, as you do. About 15 years on, my children wanted to see where I'd lived after university. We used streetview and an estate agent listing from when it was sold on again to show them, then when we were on holiday in the area, went for a walk past the end of the street.
I wouldn't have dreamed of knocking on the door or writing! It wasn't my home any more and quite honestly why would you want strangers wandering round?

I thought you were going to say owners from decades ago, but this woman must have only been in the property a few months ago? I’d just ignore it in case she hopes to come for visits on birthdays and anniversaries

I'd say no. They made things difficult so I'd not do anything for them. I saw the previous owner of my house in Tesco a couple of months ago. He was annoyed I'd changed 2 of the light fittings. They was them standard pendulum lights and one of them didn't work as the wire had started splitting.

They have had 5 YEARS to move on and spend plenty of time visiting the house

I've stopped outside the house my dad grew up in and I remember visiting relatives who lived there during my childhood. When I saw the owners were in the garden I explained why I had stopped to have a look. They were lovely and invited me in, but that is a VERY different scenario to a seller who sold the property a year ago! She got to set foot in it literally 12 months ago, she's not there for sentimental reasons, she's likey there to nosey and maybe to ask for the crap they left in the loft.

I would pay my own experience forward if somebody seemed genuine but like hell would they be welcome to my property. I'd decline, nice and short without apology or explanation.

You could ask if they plan to take all the junk out of the loft.

you choose to react that way. I do not.
I was grateful to be allowed in and they understood the "desire" given it was a childhood home that had been owned for 46 years

Seems weird such a short time after it was sold.

Wouldn't surprise me if they were angling to get some of the junk back (one persons old crap is anothers valued heirloom) or maybe they thought the relative had stashed something in a secret cache.

Anyway, I wouldn't.

I’d say yes. Losing loved ones is so hard and houses hold all sorts of memories. Seeing it one last time might give them closure. If you don’t want to then tell them no, but if you’re not bothered either way then it’d be a kind thing to do.

They blew their chance of a visit after they left.

No, they had 4 years while it was empty to be sentimental in it. No (good) reason for them to want to see it just a few months later.

Everyone is saying no… what i taught my daughter was 2 wrongs dont make a right, have a heart and do the right thing…..

Or teach her that it’s ok not to put yourself out for someone who has made your life unnecessarily difficult.

Nope. Bit weird they want to visit when it has only been a year since they handed over the keys. Would understand if it was relatives from decades past who were visiting the area and wanted to see where they grew up (still wouldn't want the strangers in my house but know many would accommodate).
In your situation I wouldn't trust their motives, seems odd just 1 year on. Do they expect annual visits now

I would just send back a note saying no! No reason . It just won't be convenient for you to have them In your home. Good luck moving on in the future.

My answer would definitely be a polite 'sorry no' for two good reasons. 😒
Firstly it's really quite odd that they say they want to come for 'sentimental' reasons after such a relatively short space of time and it must be considered that it's not beyond a possibility that they might have discovered, maybe from someone in the family, that there was something or even things of potential value in the stuff left behind in the attic and that it all might still be there which would explain needing to visit sooner rather than later?! 🙄
Secondly and maybe as others have said, the main reason to decline, they didn't exactly endear themselves to you when selling the house and are seemingly not acknowledging, apologising or taking any responsibility for this when asking you to allow complete strangers to tramp around YOUR house for whatever reason they may want to do so! 😡

Maybe they left something very valuable hidden away...find it first! 😂.

To answer your question, no, do not let them.
Imagine if they stayed hours and looked in all your rooms. This is your private home now if they were so sentimental about the house they should have kept it or rented it out.