Request from relatives of old owners to see the house - WWYD?

[MN2025]

We purchased our forever home earlier this year and ever since we have been refurbishing the property to make it how we want it!

We had a letter arrive in the post the other day from the daughter of the previous owners (she was the executor as was a probate property) and has asked if she can come with her family to see the property for sentimental reasons.

I’m half inclined to say yes… but half inclined to say no. I know people will say ‘it’s your house, do what you want’ but to be honest, the property looks completely different to how it was when we first picked up the keys that it wouldn’t be recognisable so the sentimental value wouldn’t really be there and I personally think they just want to be ‘nosey’ and see what we’ve done to it….
Secondly, they were awkward throughout the sale process to the point we nearly pulled out and they had left a loft full of junk plus other items when we had specifically said ‘vacant possession’

Thoughts?

Reply and say 'yes, brilliant that you want to collect everything you left behind. We have it all set to one side for you to bring away with you. Please note you may need a van or two to fit it all in'

Years ago we had the teenage dd of previous owners of our now old house knock on the door and ask to use the toilet. I think she was drunk in the park with her friends.

Definitely a 'no'.

They were difficult, it's all legally done and dusted - it's yours.

You don't owe them and they're just nosey.

And if you let them visit once how do you know they won't invent reasons for future visits once they've been over YOUR threshold?

Furthermore, were they intending to bring a coach party of relatives with them?

I would say no. A former owner of my house once turned up here, not the person we had bought from. Two daughters with their elderly mother who they'd brought from her nursing home in a wheelchair all standing at the end of the drive staring and grinning at me through the windows. When I went outside they explained and I think expected an enthusiastic welcome and/or to be invited in. I was couple of weeks post partum and had been sitting breastfeeding when I noticed them all gawking at me so they didn't get the reception they'd been hoping for! I have felt a little bad about it in retrospect given the lady's age but it felt very invasive at the time and I just gut reacted and pretty much ran back in and slammed the door!

Do you still have all their rubbish?

If so I would allow them to come on the understanding that they take all their crap away with them.

I want to go and see my old house. It represents a time in my life that I’ll never get back, good or bad. I wouldn’t care if it had changed cosmetically, it would still be really very meaningful, so I would have some sympathy for someone wanting to view in this same scenario.
That said, if they were intentionally difficult then I wouldn’t really feel like accommodating their request. Are you sure the sale wasn’t just complicated by probate and they didn’t realise stuff was in the loft maybe?

This totally, could not agree more.

When you are grieving you don't think straight and you don't always do things you wish you had done (which can include not allowing others to view a family home for whatever reasons).
If someone was in this position I would want to help them as it is a horrible situation to be in and you don't know how much comfort it might bring them.
We are all different but I would always err on the side of kindness.

as the child of the deceased seeing their old home may be an important step in their "moving on"

I know it was for me in the same circumstances.

I would say no and start to look for hidden treasures.

Sure, but the OP only bought it earlier in 2025! It can’t be even a year since the daughter of the previous owners had the chance to be in her parents’ house exactly as it was, full of their belongings etc.

Oh, excellent point. OP, start juggling loose floorboards and knocking on the panelling. Great-Aunt Mabel’s jewels are hidden somewhere.

No. I can’t think of any reason I’d wish to look inside my parent's old house other than nosiness and I’m not interested - and anyway can see from the outside that they’ve made changes.

change of contents notwithstanding, the death is "fresh" and a visit just to stand in a room and remember is cathartic now that the "distraction" of dealing with probate has ended.

we are not mind readers, neither you nor I know why they have asked to come. Only you have the choice to say no based on whether you assess it as inconvenient, nosey, or just bloody minded vindictiveness.

No.

Theyre weird.

No. As you say, we’re not mind readers.

But if I’d been difficult around the sale of this property only a few months ago, had left a loft full of junk and other items, and was now petitioning the same new owners whose lives I’d made unnecessarily difficult for access to the house ‘for sentimental reasons’, I wouldn’t expect them to be mind readers. I’d explain myself, rather than expect them to guess.

It would be a firm no from me, you are doing renovations so it is not going to be like it was when their family owned it.

As the executor she would have been responsible for and able to access the property so why did she not do so then.

I would be minded to just ignore, especially as you stated they were awkward during the conveyance.

Its up to you,but considering how you found them as sellers i probably would not agree.
I live in a very old grade 2 listed house with a long history and get random ancestors of previous owners of my house dating back to the 1800s from all over the world tipping up ,usually on a sunday morning when im in my pyjamas.
At first it was interesting and i was accommodating but the novelty wore off and only one person ever contacted me to thank me after visiting. I feel a bit rude/mean but ive decide to decline from now on.
In your case, id be wondering if their motive is the truth or the whole truth.

I‘m unclear if the letter writer was the seller who was awkward during the sale or if that was her parents who are now dead? If the awkward party, then I would ignore the letter. But if not, I’d probably not hold that grudge. I’m also unclear how recently the house sold. If in the last couple of years, then I think it’s probably a bit rich them wanting to look round for sentimental reasons. They would surely have recent memories of it, they can think back on those. But if it’s been a while then I might. And here’s why:

I had someone knock on the door asking if she and her kids could look around as she’d grown up there with her grandparents for a time decades before. I let them in and showed them round. There had been a few owners since and things were quite different (loft conversion, bathroom moved, down stairs loo and utility room put in, central heating, driveway, chimney taken out and rooms knocked through) and, obviously, it had been totally redecorated. But she still recognised lots of things and I got a lot out of it.

She told me a lot of tales about her grandparents and the neighbourhood. A decorative fireplace I assumed had been put in was actually the original fireplace from a different room. The tree in the garden had been planted over the grave of a family pet. They used to play with the kids from the garden behind who had a tree house and their grandfather built a ladder to go over the wall and installed a zip line they all used. Etc. I found it really interesting, it made me like the house even more and she obviously got lot out of looking round (her kids were polite, but less engaged!).

She had the whole of private to go round with the family to say goodbye to the property. There’s absolutely no need to do this a few months later. Bizarre. No.

@Wot23 change of contents notwithstanding, the death is "fresh"

The previous owner died 5yrs ago, but family only sold the house earlier this year. I'd hardly call it 'fresh' 😕

The house was empty for four and a half years before OP bought it, it's not a recent bereavement.

I’m visiting the town where my grandma lived soon, for nostalgia and will be walking past the house. As much as I’d love to see what they’d done inside it would be pure nosiness (as it needed a lot of modernisation) rather than sentimental reasons as I think it’d be totally different. it never crossed my mind to impose on the new owners to ask to see inside!!

I’d personally hate to have that request and would prob say no.

Like others, at the start of your op I was inclined to agree with the order of them visiting, but it's only been 6 months, and they were difficult in the sale, and they want to come as a group _ so they will feel very at ease in your home. This will be tricky.

What a lovely story