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Original poster

Request from relatives of old owners to see the house - WWYD?

246 replies

MN2025 · 19/10/2025 14:25

We purchased our forever home earlier this year and ever since we have been refurbishing the property to make it how we want it!

We had a letter arrive in the post the other day from the daughter of the previous owners (she was the executor as was a probate property) and has asked if she can come with her family to see the property for sentimental reasons.

I’m half inclined to say yes… but half inclined to say no. I know people will say ‘it’s your house, do what you want’ but to be honest, the property looks completely different to how it was when we first picked up the keys that it wouldn’t be recognisable so the sentimental value wouldn’t really be there and I personally think they just want to be ‘nosey’ and see what we’ve done to it….
Secondly, they were awkward throughout the sale process to the point we nearly pulled out and they had left a loft full of junk plus other items when we had specifically said ‘vacant possession’

Thoughts?

OP posts:
PflumPfeffer · 19/10/2025 14:28

I was going to say yes because I thought seeing the view, the sound the stairs make underfoot etc could be soothing for someone who grew up there before losing a parent but then you said this:
Secondly, they were awkward throughout the sale process to the point we nearly pulled out and they had left a loft full of junk plus other items when we had specifically said ‘vacant possession’
Nope. They can get lost then. Natural consequences.

TerrazzoChips · 19/10/2025 14:28

Oh gosh if they were awkward and left things behind then it’d be a no. If they pushed I’d tell them why tbh.

in the first instance if it was a letter I’d likely just ignore it tbh.

Ilovepastafortea · 19/10/2025 14:38

We bought a house from a couple who'd lived there for over 60 years. After living there for about 10 years their granddaughter with her young grandchildren knocked on the door asking if we would mind if they came in to show the children where their GGPs had lived, where their (the children's) GPs had been brought up. We were happy to allow them to have a look around & we had an interesting discussion about how the house looked some 60 years before we moved in as well as more of the history of the house.

Arcticsway · 19/10/2025 14:43

You say they were awkward during the sale, so my answer would be no.

JDM625 · 19/10/2025 14:48

We've just spend several years renovating what had been a derelict property and I was putting myself in your shoes. Our house too is unrecognisable to what is was before- due to it being so neglected even when they owned it!

  • They've contacted you rather than just turning up at your door so that is a good thing
  • IF it had just been say her, then I'd consider it, but how many people does this mean come with her family? Just her DH and kids or also cousin Vinnie, Aunt Mary, Uncle Joe?
  • You lost me at the fact they made the sale difficult and it would be an absolute NO. Why should you tidy up, organise a time and provide a guided tour when they were a PITA previously?

I'd either ignore the letter, or write back saying no its not possible and wish them all the best. fuckers

Zempy · 19/10/2025 14:49

No

johnd2 · 19/10/2025 14:52

Do you want to say yes? who cares what Mumsnet thinks. Unless you're worried they are casing the joint then just go for it if you want to. It might turn out they are lovely and have amazing stories about the place
But equally if not then just email/text back and say sorry you're not prepared to.
If it was me I'd probably say yes just to find out what the place was like when they moved in.

SparklyCardigan · 19/10/2025 14:54

I also bought a probate property and I wouldn't want any of the family looking round. It's my house now. I'd just ignore the letter.

Hoppinggreen · 19/10/2025 14:57

Up to you but I wouldn't do it

Linenpickle · 19/10/2025 14:57

Sounds like you haven’t lived there long so they had the chance to see it before it was sold. Say no.

godmum56 · 19/10/2025 14:58

hard no from me......I'd be wondering what they think might have been left in the attic? I wouldn't ignore the letter though...would not want them turning up "because we hadn't heard from you"

Iloveacurry · 19/10/2025 15:01

I’d say no. They’re just being nosey

MaryGreenhill · 19/10/2025 15:01

I would let them see it

TimeForATerf · 19/10/2025 15:02

I wouldn't, if they had been lovely people and sad to see the house go, potentially, but then I would worry that their last memories of the house were not how it was back then, but what they see now.

Since they were difficult, I would just ignore, I am sure they said their goodbyes when it sold and if it meant that much they did a last tour before handing the keys over. They are just being nosey now.

starfishmummy · 19/10/2025 15:03

They could have visited when the house was up for sale.

I'd tell her that as you have done extensive renovations the house looks nothing like it did when the mother was alive, so if she js feeling sentimental.she would be better off staying away!!

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 19/10/2025 15:03

Up to you.
I'd say no.
She had months to "look at it" while in probate

Bitzee · 19/10/2025 15:05

Absolutely not. Sounds like it’s been less than a year since they sold it so frankly it’s a very strange request. And if they made the sale really difficult then I wouldn’t be putting myself out to accommodate them. Ignore and bin the letter.

Blessedbethefruitloopss · 19/10/2025 15:07

No. Because they were awkward. Just ignore it.

Growlybear83 · 19/10/2025 15:07

We bought our current house from the nephew of an elderly couple who had lived in the house since the end of the war; he was thwir only surviving relative after the husband died soon after his wife. It was a fairly horrendous purchase, and the vendor didn’t remove most of the furniture and also expected the live in the house for a couple of weeks after completion before he went home to Canada. It wasn’t really habitable at first to the point that I had to move in with my mum for the first month - I was six months pregnant and there was no usable kitchen, no usable bath, and just one quite unpleasant working toilet and sink. We had two different sets of relatives / friends ask if they could look at what we had done to the house after we had been here for a few months and it never occurred to me to refuse. They had many happy memories of the house and loved the care we had taken to restore it, rather than gut it and turn it into a ghastly open plan box like most of the neighbours in our road have done.

Deebee90 · 19/10/2025 15:09

Weirdly I’ve just had this and I said no. The person that dealt with the probate was vile, wouldn’t answer any queries and nearly lost us the sale. I also got bailiffs twice at my door thanks to debt from their family. I wouldn’t let any of them into my house after what they did. Think carefully .

Ilovepastafortea · 19/10/2025 15:13

I used to visit an elderly neighbour every day (she's since died).

She would talk about the house where she'd been brought up. As she had dementia, I wrote to the people who were now living in the house, explained that my friend lived there with her mother & aunt during the war and it would be nice for her to visit her old home if they were agreeable.

They rang me and were very enthusiastic about the idea. We visited on a Saturday so that their children were present & my friend was able to tell them lots about living there during the war - no inside toilet in those days, the city was heavily bombed & she showed them where they went when there was an air-raid, told them about her mother spending all day on Mondays doing the washing having to get up early to light the 'copper' that was in an outhouse & was shared by several families. The children went to the same primary school that my friend went to so they had a connection there as well. The family had made a cake, gave my friend cake & tea. She had a lovely time and the children learned loads about life in 'their' house during the war.

MissMoneyFairy · 19/10/2025 15:13

I wouldn't, they will ask you where the items went, they had plenty of opportunities before you moved in.

RealEagle · 19/10/2025 15:14

no i wouldn’t probably just want a nose around .

Fifiesta · 19/10/2025 15:16

If the family had been cooperative and pleasant when you purchased the property, maybe it would have been something to consider, as they were the opposite, their request is in CF territory. Don’t reward their previous behaviour by granting them a favour!

Fatcatsinspats · 19/10/2025 15:19

It’s relatively soon after the sale, so I would be inclined to think that they want something. Sentimental if it was decades ago but it’s not.

Possibly to claim some rubbish that was left behind or some ‘treasure’ that they think is missing.

Either that or unusually nosy and want to rubbish your refurbishment.

I would ignore and not engage at all.

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