Request from relatives of old owners to see the house - WWYD?

[MN2025]

We purchased our forever home earlier this year and ever since we have been refurbishing the property to make it how we want it!

We had a letter arrive in the post the other day from the daughter of the previous owners (she was the executor as was a probate property) and has asked if she can come with her family to see the property for sentimental reasons.

I’m half inclined to say yes… but half inclined to say no. I know people will say ‘it’s your house, do what you want’ but to be honest, the property looks completely different to how it was when we first picked up the keys that it wouldn’t be recognisable so the sentimental value wouldn’t really be there and I personally think they just want to be ‘nosey’ and see what we’ve done to it….
Secondly, they were awkward throughout the sale process to the point we nearly pulled out and they had left a loft full of junk plus other items when we had specifically said ‘vacant possession’

Thoughts?

I'd say No.

They've only been out of the house 9 months max, its not like its the house they moved out of during their formative years and wanted to see a couple of decades later!

They just want a nosy to see what you've done, and since they were PITA during the sale I'd be inclined to say no.

May be they want to say you had cheated them, basing the accusation on all the improvements you have made. Just decline the invitation.

I've had this happen to me. It was actually nice to walk around the property hearing the history of it. It's important to them and no skin off your nose to be kind. I'm sure they'd love to see it in new, much nicer shape.

Personally given the facts you have presented, I would politely decline and advise it has been altered beyond anything that would be familiar to them. Leave it there. It’s weird and bizarre. I have had to sell three properties with sentimental value as executor and I said my goodbye’s at the time. I fear that if you say yes once this will become something they do frequently or once a year in memories of parents who have passed.

What on earth are you on about ? How is it a wrong? Why is it the right thing to do? It’s not their house anymore. The right thing to do is for the OP to be left alone to enjoy her new home.

Don’t reply xx

First thought was yes, invite them for a cuppa and find out history of house. On reading further, I would say definitely not. It's your home and you can invite who you want to visit. My list of potential visitors doesn't include anyone who lived or is a relation of them.

Sounds like an easy "No" to me......

Totally agree. Looks like poster didn’t teach their daughter that having boundaries is ok too!

I think you need to use judgement and try a figure out if this is a reasonable person in the area for a short period looking for a one off visit or someone who might have more expectations. I've also heard stories of this sort of thing progressing to things like repeat visits and ash scattering requests.

God I’d say no given they were difficult on the sale. It’s only been a year, surely they saw the house plenty before that, not too long ago? I think they just want to see what you’ve done.

We bought a house as a probate sale 10 years ago. The children of the deceased owner fully understood it was a renovation project for whoever bought it. The daughter asked that, as and when we did the living room, we might let her know as she’d like to have the wooden mantelpiece. Five years later we did it and I emailed her and she came and got it, very grateful we’d remembered her request. But I think it was weird for her seeing her parents’ home, formerly her family home, looking so different.

No, I wouldn’t for the simple reason that there is no need for them to visit, their relatives don’t live there any more, they have their memories, they don’t need to physically be in the house.

It seems a little odd that she wants to come and have a look for ‘sentimental’ reasons but it only sounds like less than a year since you bought it from her. I think you are right, she just wants a snoop.

This is what I was expecting. I drive past my grandparents house sometimes and would love to see what it looks like now, more than 23 years since I was last inside… but I would never ask! Only if I by chance met the owner for example they were a friend of a friend or something.

My brother has an old house and a previous either owner or someone connected to the owner posted old photos on a Facebook page of their house so they made contact with them and they came round to see what it looked like now and my brother and his wife enjoyed hearing the history of the house.

in this case, it’s too soon imo for nostalgia.

Tell them they can look at the photos/video walkthrough on the RightMove listing? It'll have changed a lot since they last had the opportunity to see it, which was not that long ago...

I can see that you wouldn't feel obliging about viewing seeing that they made the purchase process much harder and more stressful than it should have been plus the extra effort and possibly cost of removing all their abandoned stuff. I wouldn't be either, but that fact that they had time to do that after it was empty and before completion but chose not to, makes me think they have ulterior motives (like being nosy* or wondering about the stuff they left). So it would be definite no from me too.

*I'd really love to see what the new owner did with my old house, but I'd never actually ask as it's none of my business any more. Shame because I suspect her plans were similar to what I wanted to do, but couldn't. C'est la vie!

Selling for that reason is awkward and requires a lot of making sure and being pedantic and specific. I wouldnt expect it to be as straightforward as a normal sale.

The items seems a bit of nothing. Mildly annoying, but doesn't sound like you took even a single "hey what about this" action. If you didn't, you can't then pretend you know it wasnt a mistake that they would have helped sort immediately.

Sounds like you just want excuses to not do it. So just don't do it. It's a lot more pleasant that looking for excuses for revenge on people who lost someone.

OK but an 'important step in your personal journey' isn't something you are 'entitled' too.

They also have 5 YEARS to take that step and didn't bother but suddenly are desperate too?

They have had 5 YEARS to work through the grief stages, and access to the house almost that entire time. If they are still grieving that intently then they need a therapist to help process their feelings not a trigger of viewing a gutted house that will hold no memories because its not even a shadow of the same place anymore.

This isn't a child or dementia patient returning home or even someone who just lost a parent... it someone that had the house 5 years and only sold the house 6-10 months ago.

I have in no way suggested entitlement

I have taken note of the OP's circumstances, but what that shows is this thread is going no where. OP appears to be seeking confirmation bias of the no entry decision they had already made

I quite often had people turning up in my garden as it was in a famous painting! When I move from here I won’t return so have a few properties that I plan on visiting and asking the current owners if I could just have a quick and final look around. They’ll
either say yes or no and I’ll live with that,

I'm assuming they didn't visit the house after the previous owner passed, they could have done it then? And sort out the possessions in the loft. So I'd say no, I wonder if they have an ulterior motive