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Original poster

Request from relatives of old owners to see the house - WWYD?

246 replies

MN2025 · 19/10/2025 14:25

We purchased our forever home earlier this year and ever since we have been refurbishing the property to make it how we want it!

We had a letter arrive in the post the other day from the daughter of the previous owners (she was the executor as was a probate property) and has asked if she can come with her family to see the property for sentimental reasons.

I’m half inclined to say yes… but half inclined to say no. I know people will say ‘it’s your house, do what you want’ but to be honest, the property looks completely different to how it was when we first picked up the keys that it wouldn’t be recognisable so the sentimental value wouldn’t really be there and I personally think they just want to be ‘nosey’ and see what we’ve done to it….
Secondly, they were awkward throughout the sale process to the point we nearly pulled out and they had left a loft full of junk plus other items when we had specifically said ‘vacant possession’

Thoughts?

OP posts:
OneAmberFinch · 19/10/2025 15:19

Oh how strange. From the title I assumed they'd found out their great-grandparents lived there 100 years ago and were curious. But she just recently sold it?! Very strange. I would also assume she wants to find something.

Start checking for loose floorboards and secret compartments, might be worth your while ;)

WatchingTheDetective · 19/10/2025 15:20

Usually I would say yes, but I think she's just being nosy. She dealt with the sale so had plenty of chance to see it then. She took advantage of you then and now it seems she wants to do it again.

Happyher · 19/10/2025 15:20

I’d say no. They had plenty of time to look at it during the probate period but apparently didn’t bother. I think they’re after something they left behind and now want. They are strangers to you and have no right to expect they can come in

FlibbertyGibbitt · 19/10/2025 15:20

On the other hand, we sold the family home when my parents died. As much as I’d want to see what they’d done to it, I’d rather remember it as it was.

I’d say no.

NotbloodyGivingupYet · 19/10/2025 15:21

Has she suddenly remembered something she left in the loft? If you still have it, you can invite her round to collect all her crap.

fruitbrewhaha · 19/10/2025 15:23

But it’s only been 6 months since they had possession? It’s completely different to hearing from people 10 years on, or who used to own the house decades earlier. They’ve only just moved out and they didn’t bloody do that properly.

No, that isn’t going to be possible. You had time before completing to show the house to your family. Perhaps if you had been more amenable during the sales process and not left a loft full of crap here I may feel differently. But as it stands you caused a great deal of unnecessary stress.

MzHz · 19/10/2025 15:24

You nearly pulled out of the sale because of them @MN2025

remember this!

ignore the letter, it’s your home, you owe them nothing

and it’s weirdly intrusive

champagnetrial · 19/10/2025 15:25

I've had kind of the opposite recently, in that I have met locally two former owners of my house (as in, they lived here at different times). Both had long and happy periods of living in it, but both are very clear they wouldn't want to come back and look because it's not theirs anymore and they are content with their memories.

So my feeling is that they are being nosey rather than sentimental. Perhaps they want to see what you have made of it (and if they could have done any better!)

Conversely, I was taking a photo of my childhood home (not in this country) to show my parents, when the owner walked up the path. I explained and she was very nice and we had a brief chat. I told her about a particular feature in the house that my father had installed, and she confirmed it was still there, but she absolutely did not invite me in, and that was totally fine.

I'd just ignore tbh.

GoingOutOutAgain · 19/10/2025 15:26

Why didn’t she come and see it and get all that done when it was for sale?

if it was sold as vacant possession then she’s had time to do this before you moved in.

i can understand the people asking after 20 years but why so soon?

AngelsWithSilverWings · 19/10/2025 15:26

Based on how they behaved during the sale process I'd say no.

We bought our house from a couple who had bought it from an elderly lady. The elderly lady used to visit our nextdoor neighbour regularly so we got to know her and she often used to pop in to have a look at our renovations and also gave us lots of info on the history of the house.

One day we were doing some gardening and a couple came to the side gate and introduced themselves. They told us they were relatives of the elderly lady and had wanted to see the house again as they had lovely memories of staying in the house during the school holidays ( we live in a seaside town) We showed them around and they got quite emotional.

Next time I saw the elderly lady she thanked me and told me that the couple had recently lost their adult son in tragic circumstances and part of their therapy to get through their grief was to revisit their happy places. She said they had been so happy when we invited them to look around.

chunkybear · 19/10/2025 15:26

I’d be reluctant because if you’ve made a lot of changes they may be critical of these to your face, ask ‘oh why did you move the kitchen/walls to the bathroom etc, which would make me feel like they felt they had skin in the game of what the house should look like. Fair enough, like others have said, that it was say 30 odd years later and someone nostalgic wanted to have a look, but just a short time after selling isn’t nostalgia, it’s either nosy or something more 👀 .. not sure what though!

MzHz · 19/10/2025 15:26

If you let them come, it opens you up to more opportunities for them to take the piss

they might even want some of the crap in the loft back

don’t give them an inch for them to take a mile.

APatternGrammar · 19/10/2025 15:26

I would answer that as the process was quite difficult both during the sale and after owing to the need to clear the attic that you would prefer to put the whole thing behind you and therefore it’s a no.

LadyWiddiothethird · 19/10/2025 15:28

That would be a firm no from me.Ignore the letter.

kirinm · 19/10/2025 15:30

We bought a flat in 2016 and about 7 years layer a group of late 50s/60s women came over and asked if they could see the garden. Their grandparents had lived there and they just remembered playing in the garden. We didn’t mind at all and they were able to tell us quite a lot about the (Victorian) building.

but we didn’t buy it from them and they didn’t fuck us around.

FuzzyWolf · 19/10/2025 15:32

I would reply and say that you have carried out a huge number of changes and the property looks completely different now. Therefore, you don’t believe they will benefit from a sentimental visit as it is likely to cause upset. Then just ignore any further communication from them.

Dollymylove · 19/10/2025 15:35

A hard no from me as well. It doesnt belong to them anymore so they need to stay away

Inertia · 19/10/2025 15:36

There absolutely no need for them to nosy around. They owned the house themselves up until a few months ago- it’s not an elderly grandmother visiting from the other side of the world.

I’d be tempted to reply and say that you’re still remedying problems which emerged during the move.

WhatNoRaisins · 19/10/2025 15:39

A one off request from presumably reasonable people would be a maybe. A known difficult family is a no.

Personally I don't see the point if it's completely changed. I have some very sentimental memories of my grandparents homes and I'd deliberately avoid seeing them now as they have both been completely remodeled but that's just me.

AspiringHotelier121 · 19/10/2025 15:43

MN2025 · 19/10/2025 14:25

We purchased our forever home earlier this year and ever since we have been refurbishing the property to make it how we want it!

We had a letter arrive in the post the other day from the daughter of the previous owners (she was the executor as was a probate property) and has asked if she can come with her family to see the property for sentimental reasons.

I’m half inclined to say yes… but half inclined to say no. I know people will say ‘it’s your house, do what you want’ but to be honest, the property looks completely different to how it was when we first picked up the keys that it wouldn’t be recognisable so the sentimental value wouldn’t really be there and I personally think they just want to be ‘nosey’ and see what we’ve done to it….
Secondly, they were awkward throughout the sale process to the point we nearly pulled out and they had left a loft full of junk plus other items when we had specifically said ‘vacant possession’

Thoughts?

It’s not happened to us - we have lived in the same house since 2007 and were the first owners as was a new build!

My parents had this though - they brought a house back in 2002 from an elderly couple who had lived there since 1948. They were downsizing into a small retirement home. They have since passed away (previous owners) - they had a letter through the door in 2022 from the sons asking if they could come and see the house for a trip down memory lane. My parents were friendly with them when they brought it so they obliged! They were amazed what they found out about the house and its history. Turns out it was a bunker in WW2! My parents haven’t overly changed the layout - just replaced the kitchen and added a conservatory, new bathrooms and a total redecoration! The garden has been completely landscaped and a drive on the front - apart from that, it brought back so much nostalgia for both parties!

Back to your post though, if you’re interested in finding out about the history of the house then I’d allow it… but have two of you at home…. So it’s not like some bogus trick!

If you look at it from a different angle, the chances are, the awkwardness was compelled with grief giving that they are selling their deceased parents home and it’s the final closure for many. That said, it’s no excuse to leave a loft full of junk - they could have organised someone to do that if they couldn’t do it themselves.

anamo · 19/10/2025 15:43

I'm not sure I would TBH. When we sold our parents house that they (and we) had lived in for nearly 60 years, we all got together and had a sentimental journey around it before the new owners moved in. Took some pics to remember it as it was and that was that really. None of us would want to see it as it is now anymore.

Surely they had time to do something similar before the sale closed? I wonder why they didn't. Sounds like you are not there that long.

But if you feel you might like to, then do it, go by your instinct on this one.

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 19/10/2025 15:48

No. Because they were difficult.

No5ChalksRoad · 19/10/2025 15:49

“Sorry, we’re not set up for visitors.”

Give an inch and the next thing you know they’ll be accusing you of stealing the junk they left behind.

Rosscameasdoody · 19/10/2025 15:50

No. They were awkward and you need to put a difficult sale behind you and move on. If they wanted a last look at the property for sentimental reasons they had plenty of opportunity to do that in between exchange and completion. OP I think this is bullshit. I think you’re right - they’re nosey and they want to see what you’ve done with it. Don’t engage with it.

latetothefisting · 19/10/2025 15:50

Bitzee · 19/10/2025 15:05

Absolutely not. Sounds like it’s been less than a year since they sold it so frankly it’s a very strange request. And if they made the sale really difficult then I wouldn’t be putting myself out to accommodate them. Ignore and bin the letter.

this. I thought if it was a family coming back to look at their childhood home 20 or 30 years later that's quite sweet and personally would have let them (although still doesn't mean you should if you didn't want to). But it was still their house less than a year ago, she could have shown it to anyone feeling sentimental then!

And that's not to mention the rest of their awkwardness which hardly lends itself to you doing them a favour. I'd definitely say no, and possibly ask her to pay the costs of emptying the loft while I'm at it. I bet after receiving a bill for a skip or whatever she won't be back in touch again!