Request from relatives of old owners to see the house - WWYD?

[MN2025]

We purchased our forever home earlier this year and ever since we have been refurbishing the property to make it how we want it!

We had a letter arrive in the post the other day from the daughter of the previous owners (she was the executor as was a probate property) and has asked if she can come with her family to see the property for sentimental reasons.

I’m half inclined to say yes… but half inclined to say no. I know people will say ‘it’s your house, do what you want’ but to be honest, the property looks completely different to how it was when we first picked up the keys that it wouldn’t be recognisable so the sentimental value wouldn’t really be there and I personally think they just want to be ‘nosey’ and see what we’ve done to it….
Secondly, they were awkward throughout the sale process to the point we nearly pulled out and they had left a loft full of junk plus other items when we had specifically said ‘vacant possession’

Thoughts?

I agree with this. It just does not feel long enough since the sale for this to be some trip down memory lane !

No way would I allow this for anyone or any reason. Letters can be binned, cold calls at the door would be given the cold heave oh.

My user name is after a song ABOUT this lol.

I always thought it was weird though, I'm a very private person so I'm not letting random strangers wander round my house.

I have looked my childhood home up on rightmove old listings (they STILL have my childhood furniture from over 20 years earlier last time it was sold in 2017) though and even occasionally look down the street on google street view, I wouldn't bother people buy going in person though.

I moved to another city in my 40s and had to return to Liverpool (my home city) for some family business after my surviving parent died. My sister was giving me a lift to the station and I suggested we swing by the old house where we were both born. I knew I would probably never see it again. She was reluctant and insisted on parking a way down the street.

We stood outside the house talking and a woman came out and asked if we were looking for someone. I have to emphasize that we had not knocked and did not intend to disturb anyone. I explained that we had both been born in the house and wanted to see if it had changed. The woman immediately invited us in, People in Liverpool are like that. However my sister walked away, clearly upset. I thanked the woman but declined as I needed to make a train. I assured her that we would not be back and apologised for disturbing her.

I have so say that I would not have dreamed of knocking or asking if we could come in. Nor would I welcome former occupants of my own house. It would be too great a violation of privacy. However anyone can stand outside a house and look ffom the outside.

100% this

Absolutely not.

Hmm I’d be careful about this one if they were awkward about things. Our previous owner just popped round one day and being a friendly person I invited him in to look round at what I thought were amazing strides we had taken in totally redecorating the place. I thought he’d find it interesting! What an idiot I am! The next time we saw them he kept going on about how he was really happy to go into his old house but when he saw “what we’d done to the place” he was really sad and wished he’d never gone in! What did he think we’d do? Keep it the awful old person 1990s decor? Hell no! Never go back to your old house if you want to remember it the way it was! I shud never have invited him in to look round, it was too much for him in his 80’s poor thing.

I’d say no if they caused issues during the sale. My mum ended up looking round her childhood home once after she went to look at the outside and the owners invited her in. Turned out the people who bought it from my grandparents were still there and apparently the house was a 70s time capsule lol

I wouldn’t reply to the letter, and if they doorstepped me I wouldn’t let them in. If they refused to go I would tell them I’m calling the police. They’re being nosy, they would know it had been sold on the basis of requiring updating, they want to see what you’re doing.

No from me, they’re just being nosey.

When we sold MILs house (DH’s childhood home) we cleared it and he said goodbye - that was it!

Were they awkward because they didn't have the knowledge of the house to make it easier?

When MIL died and her house was sold, the buyers (or at least their lawyers) asked loads of questions that SIL and DH couldn't possibly have known and the only reason SIL knew some of them was because she lived a few streets away.

If it was that sort of difficult, I'd let them see the house.

If they were just a pain in the neck for no good reason, then no. Actions have consequences.

Absolutely not in the circumstances you describe. We had awful sellers when we moved and I totally understand how horrible that is. I know someone upthread said their difficult behavior was possibly due to grief but bollocks to that. They are just wanting to see what you’ve done to the place. They probably met an old neighbour recently who said that the new owners have been doing tons of work on the house and they are dying to see your new kitchen or whatever .

No. They want something that they've only just realised or discovered was left in the house.
It was their house only months ago.
Maybe there's a crypto stick stashed in a nook somewhere with a few bitcoin on it!

I was also in the yes camp until you said how awkward they had been and all the junk they left behind. No. Definitely absolutely not. Sorry, but no.

Respond and decline. You don’t want them rocking up unannounced

If my house was tidy and presentable and uncluttered and not dusty then I probably would say yes. I'd probably give them a half hour window and say you can come round at 4pm but I'm going out at half past. Just to avoid them turning up and kind of lingering about for the whole day!

The fact it's really different will probably be interesting to them, to see how it's changed.

They may want to gas on about all the features they used to have and the things they did in each room. That could get a bit annoying after a while!

NO. Just no.

We (me and DH) moved into a flat when we were a lot younger, our first home together, (rented,) and the previous occupant who had lived her 3 years left suddenly and we moved in 2 weeks after.

I was alone, painting the skirting boards, (DH was at work and I had booked a few days off,) and I had the chain on the front door, and it was locked. I heard something coming from the hall, and the chain rattling. I was like

I went into the hall, and someone had unlocked the door with a key, and was shouting 'hello hello, take the chain off.' I went to the door and said 'who is it?'

Turned out it was the previous occupant's mother, who had just found out her daughter had moved out, and was upset that she hadn't given her a chance to look around and say goodbye to the flat! The flat she never lived in herself, and the daughter had only lived in for 3 years. She said 'can I come in and have a look around?' At this point I was annoyed and pissed off, and I said 'no, I'm decorating. It's my flat now. Mine and my boyfriend's.' She was really arsey and said I was being very rude and unreasonable. I told her to go or I would call the police.

We got the locks changed the next day! Cheeky cow, just letting herself in with the key, knowing her daughter doesn't live there now! She never came back.

Op vacant possession means the property has to be free of anyone living there and usually is in reference to ppl who rent the property out during the sale, promising to have the property empty before the sale. A loft full of junk is just them leaving their rubbish behind, which they arent allowed to do especially if this wasn't included in any of the forms that get filled out when you say what you are taking and what you are leaving. Everyone asks vendors to take all their rubbish, lots of ppl dont.

I’ve done it, also like another poster with elderly relative with dementia. But we didn’t write or think to do anything in advance, was a turn up at the door as he’s determined to look through your windows, so thought we might as well ring the ring doorbell.
They were lovely.
We didn’t get upstairs as he couldn’t, but were shown the garden, showed them some photos he’d brought with him of it over the years.

Another one I sent a photo of their house and gardens from 60 years ago, when I found it, as well as the previous owner’s kept sales advert from 80 years ago. They replied and invited me. I haven’t had time to go yet though.

I'd say no. My home is a very private space to me and it would weird me out someone else being expressing attachment to my home.

As they had been difficult and left rubbish in loft I'd say no.

I would have let them if they hadn't been awkward during the sale and left a loft full of crap and I would tell them exactly why I was saying no

I agree with this 👆 as it's too close to the sale. She wants something from the loft!

Thanks all for your replies - interesting to read the variation of them!

I happened to speak to a neighbour this afternoon who we’ve become friendly with since moving in. They said the old couple that lived here were lovely but their children were rude and abrupt and caused them and other neighbours issues after their parents had died.

I also found out that the mother died in June 2020, so was 4 and half years before we had got the keys to the property! The property being left for that long caused the damp (which we had known about) - I don’t get why they waited so long to sell it… probably wouldn’t have had that problem! They also had all that time including lockdowns to clear the attic. No excuses.

We have decided to not facilitate this on a number of reasons;

1. The property was sold in January 2025 so there’s no real reason as to why they would need to come and see the house after a short period of time.
2. The issues caused during the house sale process, the stress due to their incompetence and unwillingness to cooperate.
3. There would be no ‘sentimental’ value to them anymore - the property has been completely gutted since we brought it - it’s not the same. We’ve extended, reconfigured rooms… and we still have contractors on site doing finishing works.

I just think their motive is to be nosey. Our last home we was in for 33 years, it was sad to leave but we said goodbye to it when we left with no desire to return. It’s someone else’s home now to make their own just like we have with ours! Our ex neighbours are still close friends and have said that the new owners have done minimal work to the house (not that they needed to anyway as it was left in a mint condition)… but it’s none of my business anymore.

I guess if they’re desperate to see the house, they can wait till me and DH have passed and our DC are selling it on… but we’re early 60s and in good health so cannot imagine that being anytime soon!!!!

I would just say to them that as the house has changed so much it might be best for their sentimental thoughts to remember it the way it was. Nosey sods