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Original poster

Request from relatives of old owners to see the house - WWYD?

246 replies

MN2025 · 19/10/2025 14:25

We purchased our forever home earlier this year and ever since we have been refurbishing the property to make it how we want it!

We had a letter arrive in the post the other day from the daughter of the previous owners (she was the executor as was a probate property) and has asked if she can come with her family to see the property for sentimental reasons.

I’m half inclined to say yes… but half inclined to say no. I know people will say ‘it’s your house, do what you want’ but to be honest, the property looks completely different to how it was when we first picked up the keys that it wouldn’t be recognisable so the sentimental value wouldn’t really be there and I personally think they just want to be ‘nosey’ and see what we’ve done to it….
Secondly, they were awkward throughout the sale process to the point we nearly pulled out and they had left a loft full of junk plus other items when we had specifically said ‘vacant possession’

Thoughts?

OP posts:
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 19/10/2025 15:50

In the circs, OP, I’d say sorry, but it’s not going to be convenient.

I once had former German tenants knock on the door (no notice) asking to have a look around - they’d lived here maybe 20 years previously.

I’m not tidy, and I knew upstairs was probably a mess, so was very glad that I could entirely truthfully say I was on the point of going out, and in a hurry. In fact I was in the middle of making curtains for a DD’s house, and had just managed to get felt tip ink on the pale yellow fabric, so was desperately charging off to John Lewis to see if they had enough to replace that bit!

(They did, phew.)

ThejoyofNC · 19/10/2025 15:52

You only bought it this year, it hasn't even been long since they saw it. That makes me absolutely certain that they have ulterior motives. Don't fall for it.

And if it genuinely is for "sentimental reasons" are you going to let them in every time they're missing their relative?

Bananaandmangosmoothie · 19/10/2025 15:57

Ilovepastafortea · 19/10/2025 15:13

I used to visit an elderly neighbour every day (she's since died).

She would talk about the house where she'd been brought up. As she had dementia, I wrote to the people who were now living in the house, explained that my friend lived there with her mother & aunt during the war and it would be nice for her to visit her old home if they were agreeable.

They rang me and were very enthusiastic about the idea. We visited on a Saturday so that their children were present & my friend was able to tell them lots about living there during the war - no inside toilet in those days, the city was heavily bombed & she showed them where they went when there was an air-raid, told them about her mother spending all day on Mondays doing the washing having to get up early to light the 'copper' that was in an outhouse & was shared by several families. The children went to the same primary school that my friend went to so they had a connection there as well. The family had made a cake, gave my friend cake & tea. She had a lovely time and the children learned loads about life in 'their' house during the war.

I think this is a different scenario from the family who sold the house very recently.

Absolutely fine to tell them that sorry, you don’t feel comfortable with that.

AxolotlEars · 19/10/2025 15:58

Yes, I would

Poodlelove · 19/10/2025 15:59

My Dad just turned up at the door of our childhood home and asked the owners the same.
I was mortified.He turns up at old school friends houses , he never telephones or texts either.I told him years ago that this might have been ok but it is not now.
He will not be told no.He has no boundaries.
Anyway the daughter who was about 16 showed him around and he had no concerns in her doing that either.
I told him about this being wrong too but didn't he understand ? No.
Just one of the things he does.
If someone came to my home and asked the same I would say no.I might offer to send a photograph of the garden or downstairs rooms but not upstairs , that is your private space.
I think if I got a letter I would reply and make an excuse.

skyeisthelimit · 19/10/2025 16:02

I would ignore the letter at this point, as it doesn't resemble what they used to know. Just keep ignoring them. If they keep trying, then send them the bill for the rubbish clearance, now that you have their address.

We had the same question from the daughter of the OPG beneficiaries selling our house. She wanted to view it one last time. But they had let us repaint and carpet between exchange and completion, so she decided that actually it would be nothing like it was when her parents lived there and she changed her mind.

VioletandMauve · 19/10/2025 16:02

No definitely not!

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 19/10/2025 16:03

I think I'd be a bit worried about setting a precedent to be honest. What if they wanted to make a yearly pilgrimage to nan & grandads old house.

I don't really understand what they'd get out of it either. We cleared my beloved aunties house, where I'd spend all my life visiting a few years ago after she died and on the last day I had a long walk round it because I knew it'd be the last time.

I still go past it fairly regularly and smile at the sight of the place but I'd never want to go in because I know the new people did a lot of renovations and it wouldn't be the same house anymore.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 19/10/2025 16:03

No, sounds like she’s just being nosy. If she’s feeling sentimental she can look at family photographs or go through her mother’s belongings or go to somewhere public she visited often when her parents lived there like a local pub/ restaurant/ park etc. She can walk past the property if she wants to reminisce but she’s no need to go in, especially if you’ve refurbished it anyway. Sounds like she just wants to see what you’ve done with the place which, frankly, is none of her business!

JustSawJohnny · 19/10/2025 16:05

MN2025 · 19/10/2025 14:25

We purchased our forever home earlier this year and ever since we have been refurbishing the property to make it how we want it!

We had a letter arrive in the post the other day from the daughter of the previous owners (she was the executor as was a probate property) and has asked if she can come with her family to see the property for sentimental reasons.

I’m half inclined to say yes… but half inclined to say no. I know people will say ‘it’s your house, do what you want’ but to be honest, the property looks completely different to how it was when we first picked up the keys that it wouldn’t be recognisable so the sentimental value wouldn’t really be there and I personally think they just want to be ‘nosey’ and see what we’ve done to it….
Secondly, they were awkward throughout the sale process to the point we nearly pulled out and they had left a loft full of junk plus other items when we had specifically said ‘vacant possession’

Thoughts?

As someone who bought an old house from an older couple I think you're right that they just want to have a nosey and see what you've done with the place. We've had a few incidences of window peering and trying to see around the door when trick or treating etc.

I can see why they are interested but they're not entitled to know.

I'd ignore the letter and, if pressed, just say 'Sorry, that doesn't work for us'.

It's intrusive and you don't owe them anything.

YourJoyousDenimExpert · 19/10/2025 16:06

I was tidying my front garden one day and a car pulled up and I could see the occupants looking at the house. The lady got out and explained she had lived there as a child.
I did show her round - feeling apologetic in some ways for all the changes we had made - but she was very grateful and said it still had the same family feel she remembered so I was glad I had invited her in.
I have been past my parents’ old house since it was sold but I would not want to go inside as I prefer to remember it as it was. Guess we are all different.
However - if these people were difficult, then you have no obligation to agree to them visiting.

hmnj · 19/10/2025 16:06

I wouldn't let them. Behaved badly during sale, now house is undergoing renovation.

mamabluestar · 19/10/2025 16:11

I would love to go back and see my Grandparents home - it was sold about 25 years ago and will have most definitely changed since then.

Having said that, I totally agree with PPs saying it's natural consequences. They behaved badly during the sale so its tough luck - I would most definitely say no.

user5972308467 · 19/10/2025 16:12

Surely they’ve not forgotten what it looks like in 12 months?!
I’d probably be happy to show someone round their childhood home if they’ve not seen it for decades but agree they are just being nosey. So no from me!

WilfredsPies · 19/10/2025 16:14

APatternGrammar · 19/10/2025 15:26

I would answer that as the process was quite difficult both during the sale and after owing to the need to clear the attic that you would prefer to put the whole thing behind you and therefore it’s a no.

I’d do this, and possibly add ‘Although, if you’re planning on reimbursing me for the additional and unexpected costs of disposing of an attic’s worth of junk on a house that was sold as vacant possession, as well as various expenses caused by your actions during the purchase of the property, £* should cover it. You can make the cheque payable to MN2025’. Guaranteed you’ll never hear from them again.

Sortalike · 19/10/2025 16:14

Sort of similar but not quite.

I'd gone on holiday to the seaside town where my grandmother lived and was walking past the row of cottages where she had lived and the now owners of "her" cottage were selling cuttings of plants from the garden.

For reasons I still don't know, I burst into floods of tears, and the owner came over, asked me if I was okay, so I cried even harder, apologised and said that my grandmother had lived there and I wasn't sure why I was so emotional.

The owners were very kind, sat me down on the bench, bought out a pot of tea, they were so lovely, telling me how they'd loved "her" garden, asking me all about the cottage and so on.

When I left, they gave me lots of cuttings "from your Nana's garden" (even just typing this im getting emotional). They were planted in my mum's garden, and subsequent cuttings in mine.

MeridianB · 19/10/2025 16:15

You only bought the house this year from them so presumably she and her family have all been in the house at some point this year. So this isn’t a sentimental thing - there’s something else. And given they were so awkward over sale I would ignore the letter.

BlooomUnleashed · 19/10/2025 16:15

It may well be a kindness to say no.

I found my late grandparents house on a British estate agent’s site. I was so excited to be able see inside it again that I just clicked, instead of having a think first.

For context their house is the backdrop for my happiest childhood memories. When I die my sister is under orders to snag one of my toes before my husband ignores all my wishes to be cremated, and shoves me in that bloody horrible wall thing we have here in Italy.

The toe is to be smuggled over and buried (very deep, preferably in a smell sealed bag, even more preferably… in the ash form I have requested) by the wall in the park, just behind their back garden.

That’s how much that home meant to me. The only remaining part of my mortal self will return to Britain to be where I was happiest. With those I loved the most.

The photos on the website were very confronting to see. Obviously it had all been done up and brought out of the 50s. The home of my happy childhood is gone, it only lives as slightly faded videos in my head.

In retrospect I wish I had thought twice and not looked. It was nicer when it hadn’t even occurred to me that somebody would have knocked down walls and made the place unrecognisable.

piratesparrot · 19/10/2025 16:17

LMAO the cheek of them! NO.

This is the reason I took a video of my nan's house when it was up for sale, so I could reminisce about my childhood without disturbing the new owners. If it meant THAT much to them they could and would have done this when it was up for sale, but they didnt.

So no, they cant.

Cherrysoup · 19/10/2025 16:17

They were awkward and you nearly pulled out of the sale. Why on earth would you let the fuckers who coat you a fortune because they left loads of crap back in?

Jazz7 · 19/10/2025 16:21

Definitely reply no. Do not ignore or they may well just turn up. Sounds like they are hard necked enough to do that

Purplecatshopaholic · 19/10/2025 16:21

Arcticsway · 19/10/2025 14:43

You say they were awkward during the sale, so my answer would be no.

This. Karma.

Irenesortof · 19/10/2025 16:22

TerrazzoChips · 19/10/2025 14:28

Oh gosh if they were awkward and left things behind then it’d be a no. If they pushed I’d tell them why tbh.

in the first instance if it was a letter I’d likely just ignore it tbh.

No, not if they left a lot of junk for you to deal with. You can tell them the place looks very different now and it might be weird for them to see it like this, and anyway you just want to settle in and live there rather than show anyone round.
Then block them.
My sister did this with our old family home and the new owners agreed to let her look round, but I don't suppose they were that pleased about it.

Shoulderscuff · 19/10/2025 16:22

Absolutely not a chance, because of how badly they conducted themselves throughout the sale.
One word reply. No.

SomeHorse · 19/10/2025 16:23

TimeForATerf · 19/10/2025 15:02

I wouldn't, if they had been lovely people and sad to see the house go, potentially, but then I would worry that their last memories of the house were not how it was back then, but what they see now.

Since they were difficult, I would just ignore, I am sure they said their goodbyes when it sold and if it meant that much they did a last tour before handing the keys over. They are just being nosey now.

Was the person requesting a visit the person who was awkward to deal with during the sale?

If so, I’d probably refuse.

I did once let a Swiss-based sixtysomething come in look around — he was something I of a family historian his family had bought the house in 1903 and lived here until the 1930s, and he had a lot of rather splendid Edwardian photos of his great-grandparents in the garden, and the servants lined up. I didn’t go to any trouble tidying or anything, and I suspect he was probably shocked that the original tiles had football boots and school bags all over, and that the croquet lawn was no more.