Tradesman just made me cry

[Fluffyelephant]

I know it’s probably silly to be so upset but I’m really shaken up.

Having a nightmare with our house renovation. People cancelling, not showing up.

Finally had a guy in today (recommended by another tradesman). Long story short I was in the room next to where he was working and could hear him getting angrier and angrier in there: ‘FFS!’ every few minutes and slamming things more and more aggressively.

Eventually heard him say to himself ‘that’s it I’m finished’ and he started moving his tools. I went in, job was about 60% done and he was so angry. Like “I’m finished. Not doing anymore. People effing changing the job. Changing the date. Wasting my time. This b&q stuff you’ve got is shit.” It was so horrible. Then he stormed out. I told my partner what had happened and started crying so my DP ran out to the van outside and I was shouting ‘Don’t! Dont!’ The guy threatens him and then drives away.

Agh. Absolutely horrible. Really shaken up. Just feel like I’m cursed with this renovation. Feel like it was my fault for not making the details of the job clearer.

Not sure what the point of this post is. Just wondering if anyone else has ever experienced similar. And if so how do you keep it together?!

Reddit really is good- I had a tech issue and Reddit users solved it- a female tech nerd, bless her!.

Of course the DP should talk to the tradesman after this. That's what I would expect/want mine to do and it's hardly an odd reaction.

Probably had a salty head 😂

Yes BUT

If you think people on MN are irrational, goodness help you if you post on Reddit.

Not only will you be called all the names under the sun, but they'll also track down where you live and can become generally quite unhinged, especially if they disagree with your views.

Google doxxing + reddit

Or - don't - if you prefer to have faith in humankind.

I can completely sympathise. We had our bathrooms refitted this year and it was awful.

The first week was fine. The second week the plumber made a huge mistake (fitted the pipes for the showers, had the tiler come, then found the showers wouldn’t fit how he’d fixed the pipes. He was very apologetic to my husband. Offered to pay half towards the new fitting needed etc. Husband left for work and his attitude changed completely. He came downstairs to have it out with me. He tried to blame me. Stated he’d never seen a shower that couldn’t have it’s height adjusted before, I was firm and told him he should have checked and measured before fitting the pipes into the wall, he was adamant it was my fault and said he wouldn’t be paying anything towards having it fixed. I said “fine. I’ll pay. Just get it sorted”
He then spent the following 2 weeks grunting at me. During the school holidays when my infant school age kids were home he decided to start blasting rap music with horrific language. I asked him to keep the music PG, he’d turn it off for one song but then put it straight back on. Husband had a word and it was all apologies again.

Couldn’t wait to be rid of him.

Even if OP was a nightmare customer.. I wouldn't get away with swearing at a nightmare client at work and making them cry! Why is it acceptable just because he happens to be a tradesman?

Think you and your partner are having a needlessly rough ride here OP. I'd be having words - words for clarity, not a fight - with anyone who came into my house and shouted at my partner too.

You are getting a hard time here OP. This is a very unprofessional reaction from the builder irrespective of whsthrr it was well arranged from your side. He could have declined to do the job politely.

This - she has fully explained the circumstances and yet it must be her fault some random bloke swore at her?

My husband would have a go at anyone who shouted at me and made me cry (and has done in the past when we were much younger) Not sure why everyone thinks that's such an awful thing tbh.

Trades are in very short supply. Getting a reliable tradesman means building a relationship with someone, being a very calm and reasonable customer, making teas and listening to them talk and complain and basically looking after them. When he started swearing I'd have gone downstairs and talked to him.

Maybe offer him a blowjob while you're about it.

😂😂

Yeah but I charge £140 an hour for that sort of psychological help (less the BJ). Should I send him a quote first?

Ahh OP - there are some seriously horrible people on MN who immediately take against people for very little reason. Please try and ignore them.

Now that I know it is flooring that you were having done, I just wanted to share that I had the opposite experience when I was having laminate laid a few years ago. I picked someone from trusted trader who could do quite a few jobs for me, including the floor. On the day the flooring (from Wickes, and in the sale as I didn't have loads of money) proved to be a bastard to fit. The planks weren't lining up properly or clicking together and the guy was getting frustrated with it. He didn't once raise his voice or swear though, and he didn't direct his frustration at me. He tried his best and explained to me what the problem was and suggested I get on to Wickes so that they could sort it out. He stayed with me while I made the call so that he could explain, as the tradesperson, what the problem was. Once Wickes agreed that I could return the rest of the packs to exchange for ones that were cut properly the guy sorted out a day to return and finish the job. No drama, no fuss. He also told me to go to B&Q in future as that's where he usually went.

There are good traders out there OP, I'm sorry that you had such a horrible experience. I hope you get the job sorted out soon.

This whole thread epitomises what is wrong with this country. So many people makes excuses for crap behavior and then demonise and attack those who actually try to DO something about it.

I can't believe the amount of people blaming the OP for this man's appaling behaviour. I guess they must just be desensitised to men being shitty to them. As for the DH, OP probably didn't want her husband to get punched! I wouldn't want my DH to go out and talk to him either.

Most of us have encountered shitty situations at work, but it's not acceptable to go about shouting and swearing though! It's called being respectful and professional and it's especially important to be respectful in someone's home space.

If you can OP, hire women in future, I've found they usually charge a little bit more (might just be my area though) but it is worth it!

It's not you, it's him.

You've had the misfortune to have come into contact with a bloke who doesn't handle problems well, can't control his emotions, on a day or a week when probably everything he touches has gone tits up... and you caught the fall out, your job was the final straw.

I had a similar experience with someone behaving bizarrely only this guy was not a tradesman he was the bloke that would come out to assess repairs in council properties and then instruct the right people to come do whatever.

He turned up, I had already told him we had dogs which we'd normally move, but one would be difficult as she couldn't do stairs (injury) and we'd have to let him in to do one room, then he'd have to go out whilst we moved her and then come in again when she'd swapped rooms, but we could just hold her and she'd stay on the sofa.

He said that was fine as long as the dog staying downstairs didn't approach him.

He came in with his list of three things - item one in the room with the dog, the dog lifted her head a few inches to see who was in the room - I was sat by her, hand on her collar... We were on the sofa about 6ft from him.

He screamed (seriously, proper girly AIEEEE noise), ran out of the room, out of the front door (leaving it wide open) up the street to his car and fucked off.

We were just left there, jaws dropped, wondering what the actual fuck!

I rang the council office - yeah he has 'mild fear of dogs', has done this before and apparently I had a giant horse sized slavering beastie that I allowed to launch at him.

I sent in my webcam footage showing what actually happened (pet cam that ran all the time), suggesting that it might be sensible for him to tell people he has a phobia rather than make up bullshit, and I got an apology (though a rather begrudging one, delivered via someone else).

Ultimately, some humans are bizarre at times.

Now that it's 60% done could you and/or your partner finish it off. Buy tools from the money saved, watch You Tube for guidance etc.

Flooring isn't rocket science.

dealing with tradesmen in a home renovation is at best like herding cats. I very often feel like I’ve got a house full of fairly grumpy messy blokes who don’t tidy up after themselves, don’t do what I’ve asked them to do and charge me a fortune for their time. Some of the time they are alright 😂 and we gradually inch forwards.

with your bloke, don’t take it too personally. It doesn’t matter what the shit was you bought from b&q and it doesn’t matter if you misdescribed the job in some way you can’t fathom. He acted unprofessionally. He may have been having a bad day himself but that’s no excuse.

I gave our lovely plumber an impossible task of fitting a Quooker cube system over 2 metres from the tap which is against installation instructions and the parts for it don’t exist. He nipped out to the plumbing merchants about 4 times in one day to try to figure it out. Yes it would have been easier to throw it all back at me and tell me to fuck off. He could find easier work fitting toilets for someone. But he’s a professional and stuck with it.

Bloody tedious though

Funny how we’re all different isn’t it. I would have ripped him a new one and told him to get the fk out of my house 😂

If the chap is in England or Wales he can get that dog phobia treated for free in 12 sessions if he wanted but I'm suspecting it's very convenient for him to be able to run out of a house whenever he wants.

So sorry, OP. Whatever the job was, however described, and however rubbish the bits from B&Q, you've had a male stranger get very angry in your home, then leave in a huff and threaten your DH. That is just awful and no wonder you feel shocked.

But he's gone now.

I would leave it, leave him, forget it, forget him. No point.

It sounds like you may have a fiddly job and for sure the materials can be frustrating if they aren't great. This guy though didn't have the temperament to cope with it.

You need a laid back guy with plenty of time. You should expect to pay for this and tbf now there's less to do. So actually, the first guy's turkey fit has benefited you.

Be happy. He's gone but quite a bit of the job was done.

What do you suggest that people like me who live alone should do? One of my real dreads is getting work men (and it is usually men) in to do stuff. I find it really stressful and reading stories like this confirm my worst fears. I need some decorating doing and keep putting it off as I find it so horrible having someone who is of course a stranger in my home.