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Original poster

Anxiety over DPs right to my house!

165 replies

Kaftankweeie · 16/08/2023 07:06

Hello,

any advice from anyone who had been in a similar situation would be wonderful!

DP and I are currently house hunting, together 13 years one DD 6, happy so far no blips however he is terrible with money and always has been.

I am in a very fortunate position where my DM is buying me the house we eventually choose in cash. DMs plan is to gift me the house, so it will be in my name only and mortgage free.

DP and I would love some more children and once we are in the house we are planning on TTC. We’ve both spoken about me then becoming a SAHM, something I would love to do.

my question is, if we never married but split up would DP have any claim on the house? If I became a SAHM it would be his wages that would be paying the bills on the house, I’m very nervous about putting myself in a vulnerable position if I were to be a SAHM.

thanks in advance

OP posts:
AuntieEsther · 16/08/2023 07:09

I think you should get legal advice.
as I understand it, if there is no mortgage then it would remain straightforwardly yours but you need a lawyer to check that out!

dunroamingfornow · 16/08/2023 07:09

You might do better to rent the house from your mother. She could leave the house in her will to her grandchildren? I had a friend in a similar position and she had to buy her husband out when they divorced after he had an affair. It was viewed as marital property.

Doidontimmm · 16/08/2023 07:11

I’d say it’s very very unfair on your DP!

dunroamingfornow · 16/08/2023 07:11

Sorry , just spotted you're not married. I don't think that makes it any easier but I would get legal advice

Temporaryname158 · 16/08/2023 07:12

I would check this with a lawyer but I believe if you are unmarried and the deeds are in your sole name it’s yours.

whatever you do don’t marry him as then it’s 50:50 but I strongly advise you to see legal advice in this

YouJustDoYou · 16/08/2023 07:15

As others said, seek legal advice, not mumsnet advice. And your boyfriend is a bit of a fool to move into a house he has no claim to, as any woman would be if she were to move into a house she had no claim to.

LadyLolaRuben · 16/08/2023 07:15

You need really good legal advice, it'll be the best money you ever spent. You don't have to tell your partner you're getting the advice. You need to look after yourself

TookTheBook · 16/08/2023 07:16

Sounds like a great situation for you. Not so great for him. You could get a half hour appointment with a solicitor to check where you stand but if you remain unmarried, and the house is in your name, it will remain yours. But I wouldn't be surprised if he realises this and wants to push for marriage. So get advice .

SheilaFentiman · 16/08/2023 07:17

When you say your mum will gift you the house, will your mum ever have her name
on the deeds?

I think it is better, tax wise, if your mum gifts you the cash and you buy the house. Then at no point does your mum own two properties.

Original poster
Kaftankweeie · 16/08/2023 07:22

Thanks for this

OP posts:
RachelsHere · 16/08/2023 07:23

Yes, you need proper advice on all of this. There's the issue with your partner, then inheritance tax and deprivation of assets all to think about.

Has your dp got any capital at all? He would be better buying a flat of his own to rent out than putting money in to your property. He would be a fool to just pay the bills and have a stay at home wife as he could end up with nothing at all.

KievLoverTwo · 16/08/2023 07:26

'We've been together 13 years and have children together, but I would prefer that he walks away penniless if we ever split'

Eh?

Is this an actual thing that people do?

People baffle me.

Sommerled · 16/08/2023 07:27

Sounds a terrible deal for your DP.

SheilaFentiman · 16/08/2023 07:27

Agree re proper advice, but if op is in her 30s (guess) and her mum in her 60s, there a hug chance of her mum living 7 years and iht not being an issue. Or, in any event, there being sufficient other assets to pay the iht bill in the event of a tragedy.

Re deprivation of assets, if her mum is in a position to gift cash for a house, i
assume she has many other assets that could be used for care payments. But definitely worth checking.

MelonsOnSaleAgain · 16/08/2023 07:27

You’re in a partnership with a man that you want more children with and want him to pay for you to be a SAHM and also want him to not share in the home you want to have together.

if I were him I would not feel kindly disposed to you at all. Does he know about this and understand what he may be getting in to?

of course if you’re not married this can be done. But if a woman came on here saying that this is what her partner was planning then she’s be told to run for the hills!

Original poster
Kaftankweeie · 16/08/2023 07:28

RachelsHere · 16/08/2023 07:23

Yes, you need proper advice on all of this. There's the issue with your partner, then inheritance tax and deprivation of assets all to think about.

Has your dp got any capital at all? He would be better buying a flat of his own to rent out than putting money in to your property. He would be a fool to just pay the bills and have a stay at home wife as he could end up with nothing at all.

No he has no capital, can’t go into details as quite outing. But he is terrible terrible with money - there’s not masses of debt or anything like that.

OP posts:
ButterCrackers · 16/08/2023 07:28

Get legal advice on your own. Don’t tell your DP or your mum (in case she tells your dp). Get the facts to enable you to work out what to do. This legal appointment will be more than worth its price.

AuntieEsther · 16/08/2023 07:29

Doidontimmm · 16/08/2023 07:11

I’d say it’s very very unfair on your DP!

Why?
he gets to live rent free and can save his own capital if he chooses.

AuntieEsther · 16/08/2023 07:29

YouJustDoYou · 16/08/2023 07:15

As others said, seek legal advice, not mumsnet advice. And your boyfriend is a bit of a fool to move into a house he has no claim to, as any woman would be if she were to move into a house she had no claim to.

Why? Why should he have a claim to the OP's mum's money?

AuntieEsther · 16/08/2023 07:30

TookTheBook · 16/08/2023 07:16

Sounds like a great situation for you. Not so great for him. You could get a half hour appointment with a solicitor to check where you stand but if you remain unmarried, and the house is in your name, it will remain yours. But I wouldn't be surprised if he realises this and wants to push for marriage. So get advice .

I don't get this. Why would he be unhappy about living rent free? He can save a lot of money that way for his own investment.

mycoffeecup · 16/08/2023 07:30

do not be a SAHM unmarried

And don't marry this man

So you need to keep working

Original poster
Kaftankweeie · 16/08/2023 07:31

KievLoverTwo · 16/08/2023 07:26

'We've been together 13 years and have children together, but I would prefer that he walks away penniless if we ever split'

Eh?

Is this an actual thing that people do?

People baffle me.

I knew I’d get some comments like this, just for the record I would not have chosen this situation.
My main goal is to protect assets and money for my child/ future children.

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 16/08/2023 07:31

If the house is in your name and you are not married he has no right to the house wether he pays the bills or not. Put your mind at rest by having a one off visit to a solicitor to sort this out. You ate right to take care of yourself and your children. I was in a similar position and it is essential to safeguard yourself.

lovewoola · 16/08/2023 07:32

I wouldn't move into my partners house, pay for everything & then expect to walk away with nothing should we break up. You need legal advice

lovewoola · 16/08/2023 07:33

There's the issue with your partner, then inheritance tax and deprivation of assets all to think about.

and this