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Original poster

Buyers remorse and costs

180 replies

Newhousecrying · 07/08/2022 19:25

Hi everyone, I’m a long time lurker, and taken a while to get the courage to post this so please be kind

DH and I completed on our first home 3 months ago. We offered in February after looking for 6months and being outbid everytime. We paid over asking for this one (and over the valuation). Because in the 6 months we were looking things were just getting more and more expensive. And everyone we knew who was buying a house was also paying over the asking. Now it feels like things have gone the other way and I feel like a complete idiot.

since we’ve completed we’ve just had so many problems. The repairs required are more than we knew (had L3 survey- loads of things were not picked up). cost of works is much higher than expected.

Looking at the costs, we’re going to exceed the ‘ceiling price’ of the street by at least 10k. And that’s without getting a new kitchen. Which looked ok when we saw it but actually when looking more carefully, it’s really nasty :(

DH is working so hard to keep things moving. I’ve cried almost every day for months. Friends have suggested I see my GP for relaxants because I’m so anxious about it. I just wish we’d been sensible and slowed down and not bought it.

It looks terrible now because we’ve started the work (removed all the wallpaper and floor etc). We’d lose 70k if we tried to sell now. We’re scrimping like mad to save money day to day.

I don’t know what we can do. I’m so afraid of us spending too much to make it nice to live in and then ‘losing’ all that money when we need to sell.

posting now because I just watched ‘worst house in the street’ and they’re talking about costs and ceiling prices and I just burst into tears.

OP posts:
Schooldil3ma · 07/08/2022 19:34

If you plan to stay there it really won't matter in the long run. You seem to be viewing this from a purely financial perspective, it should be your home primarily, not an investment.

neverwakeasleepingbaby · 07/08/2022 19:36

Sorry you’re going through a tough time OP. It’s a horrible feeling. For what it’s worth, I think lots of people feel like this about their first home. We bought a flat and I hadn’t realised it was so noisy (road noise, on a flight path, drunk pedestrians, you name it!). I regretted buying it for a long time.

A lot depends on how long you plan to stay there for. If it’s a while (say 5+ years) I really wouldn’t sweat the fact you might exceed the ceiling value of your street on repairs. Obviously no one likes sinking all their spare cash into their house, and I do appreciate that times are economically hard at the moment, but in the long term, what you’re doing is better than renting. You’re building equity and in a few years time it probably won’t matter much that you spent a bit extra. Do you like the house and the area?

If it’s liveable and you don’t have to change the kitchen or you can just spruce it up a bit (painting the doors, retiling) then do that.

Hopefully you can reframe this as a positive thing to have bought the house in the first place. You’ve done very well and should be proud!

MarmaRell78 · 07/08/2022 19:39

Second that - long term the prices will probably ride out. I felt awful when we completed and got the keys to our house... Nothing works the way I want it to, layout is ridiculous, kitchen and bathrooms awful, and now with the cost of everything going up and up, we're just not going to be able to make the changes I assumed we would.
We have however painted the main rooms we use (altho not the kitchen or bathrooms as we want to do something more drastic and can't afford to do it twice obviously) and it's made such a difference to being in the house day to day.
Can you do bits of work piece by piece, so you don't spend all your money now when thing's are a bit shit and sort of play it by ear with the markets and that?
How long are you planning on being their for?

OldTinHat · 07/08/2022 20:03

I'm assuming this is your home and not a buy and flip job?

I've been in my current house for almost 4yrs and am still doing it up. Every room has a wtaf moment!

You will settle in, there will always be jobs and repairs and decorating and upgrading and it's never ending. When you finish, you have to start again!

Welcome to owning a home. It's the best feeling ever and you've made the right decision. I've been a home owner for 30yrs and am still rolling my eyes about things that never seem to be fixed!

Spr33 · 07/08/2022 20:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
Newhousecrying · 07/08/2022 21:40

neverwakeasleepingbaby · 07/08/2022 19:36

Sorry you’re going through a tough time OP. It’s a horrible feeling. For what it’s worth, I think lots of people feel like this about their first home. We bought a flat and I hadn’t realised it was so noisy (road noise, on a flight path, drunk pedestrians, you name it!). I regretted buying it for a long time.

A lot depends on how long you plan to stay there for. If it’s a while (say 5+ years) I really wouldn’t sweat the fact you might exceed the ceiling value of your street on repairs. Obviously no one likes sinking all their spare cash into their house, and I do appreciate that times are economically hard at the moment, but in the long term, what you’re doing is better than renting. You’re building equity and in a few years time it probably won’t matter much that you spent a bit extra. Do you like the house and the area?

If it’s liveable and you don’t have to change the kitchen or you can just spruce it up a bit (painting the doors, retiling) then do that.

Hopefully you can reframe this as a positive thing to have bought the house in the first place. You’ve done very well and should be proud!

We like the area. It’s much closer to a park than our flat was. If we don’t think about the cost of the house, it’s a good enough house for us.

The electrics, plastering, and roof all need doing. We’re painting it ourselves. Painting the kitchen cabinet doors and putting up some shelves. We need to buy one unit to fill a gap the vendors left and increase storage.

OP posts:
Original poster
Newhousecrying · 07/08/2022 21:46

MarmaRell78 · 07/08/2022 19:39

Second that - long term the prices will probably ride out. I felt awful when we completed and got the keys to our house... Nothing works the way I want it to, layout is ridiculous, kitchen and bathrooms awful, and now with the cost of everything going up and up, we're just not going to be able to make the changes I assumed we would.
We have however painted the main rooms we use (altho not the kitchen or bathrooms as we want to do something more drastic and can't afford to do it twice obviously) and it's made such a difference to being in the house day to day.
Can you do bits of work piece by piece, so you don't spend all your money now when thing's are a bit shit and sort of play it by ear with the markets and that?
How long are you planning on being their for?

We need to Rewire, and then do the associated plastering, and repair the roof.

I need to be in the area for the next three years (I’m on a training contract for another 3 years). and then after that we can move but also hopefully won’t have to.

The neighbours around us are all young families with toddlers or babies. They’ve been there a few years and are really nice.

OP posts:
Original poster
Newhousecrying · 07/08/2022 21:49

OldTinHat · 07/08/2022 20:03

I'm assuming this is your home and not a buy and flip job?

I've been in my current house for almost 4yrs and am still doing it up. Every room has a wtaf moment!

You will settle in, there will always be jobs and repairs and decorating and upgrading and it's never ending. When you finish, you have to start again!

Welcome to owning a home. It's the best feeling ever and you've made the right decision. I've been a home owner for 30yrs and am still rolling my eyes about things that never seem to be fixed!

Thanks. I hadn’t thought of repairs as part of ownership and not cost of repairs in reselling. It’s a place for us to live, definitely not a flip job.

OP posts:
Original poster
Newhousecrying · 07/08/2022 21:54

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

We’d still be spending £1000 a month on rent and our mortgage payments are less than half that. So we have an ‘extra’ £500 (‘extra’ because so much money is going out now, it doesn’t feel like we have anything extra!)

OP posts:
neverwakeasleepingbaby · 07/08/2022 22:04

From what you say, it all sounds positive in the long term. You like the house, it’s in a good location and suitable for family life if that’s what you want in the future. It is a bit of a long game but you’ll be quids in comparison with renting. Houses unfortunately can cost a lot of money to maintain, and things like requiring are particularly annoying because there’s no shiny exciting Instagram photo at the end of it! But the bills won’t go on forever and you will eventually be able to fully enjoy it, even if it takes a while to get there. If you’re on a training contract now, then your pay should go up after that…right? So that’ll be some extra and hopefully things will start to seem more manageable soon!

neverwakeasleepingbaby · 07/08/2022 22:05

*rewiring not requiring!

Antarcticant · 07/08/2022 22:08

It's normal to feel like this after buying a house, especially amid the turmoil of renovation.

You will feel much differently once the work is all done and you will really feel the cost benefit of mortgage versus rent.

BarrelOfOtters2 · 07/08/2022 22:28

It’ll be ok. I absolutely thought this when bought first house. But I lived in it and loved it for 10 years,then rented it out for 10. I had to put new roof on and other repairs, but I’m thinking of selling now an£ it’s all fine. And it’s still got the same awful kitchen as when I bought it..,..

you buy a place to live in.

Original poster
Newhousecrying · 07/08/2022 22:48

neverwakeasleepingbaby · 07/08/2022 22:04

From what you say, it all sounds positive in the long term. You like the house, it’s in a good location and suitable for family life if that’s what you want in the future. It is a bit of a long game but you’ll be quids in comparison with renting. Houses unfortunately can cost a lot of money to maintain, and things like requiring are particularly annoying because there’s no shiny exciting Instagram photo at the end of it! But the bills won’t go on forever and you will eventually be able to fully enjoy it, even if it takes a while to get there. If you’re on a training contract now, then your pay should go up after that…right? So that’ll be some extra and hopefully things will start to seem more manageable soon!

Yes, I’m on a training contract so my pay goes up a tiny amount every 6months, (though this time it feels like nothing because the energy bills went up by more), and I should get a bigger uplift at the end.

you’re right about the Instagram photo. I think I’ve seen too many interior design/ home renovation programmes / instagrams/ Pinterest’s. None of them talk about the costs of repairs/ maintaining

OP posts:
Original poster
Newhousecrying · 07/08/2022 22:50

Antarcticant · 07/08/2022 22:08

It's normal to feel like this after buying a house, especially amid the turmoil of renovation.

You will feel much differently once the work is all done and you will really feel the cost benefit of mortgage versus rent.

Thanks. It feels so hard to see. Right now all I can see is our savings emptying…

OP posts:
BloodyCamping · 07/08/2022 22:51

It’s your first house, it’s natural to worry about having made the correct purchase. This is a long term game though, with numerous stepping stones. The house is very likely to be a good investment over the years and once it’s got your stamp it will start to feel like home

Original poster
Newhousecrying · 07/08/2022 22:53

BarrelOfOtters2 · 07/08/2022 22:28

It’ll be ok. I absolutely thought this when bought first house. But I lived in it and loved it for 10 years,then rented it out for 10. I had to put new roof on and other repairs, but I’m thinking of selling now an£ it’s all fine. And it’s still got the same awful kitchen as when I bought it..,..

you buy a place to live in.

Thanks. We can’t change the kitchen because of costs so we’ll be stuck with the same one for a few years

OP posts:
Original poster
Newhousecrying · 07/08/2022 22:54

BloodyCamping · 07/08/2022 22:51

It’s your first house, it’s natural to worry about having made the correct purchase. This is a long term game though, with numerous stepping stones. The house is very likely to be a good investment over the years and once it’s got your stamp it will start to feel like home

Thanks. Our own stamp = We’re going to paint colours! We’ve been in grey/ white/ magnolia rentals for years.

OP posts:
Isonthecase · 07/08/2022 22:54

Been there, done that. I'm still annoyed at the bastards that hid the issues and lied about it nearly a decade later BUT it was still a better investment than paying on renting for the time I would have been there. Just.

The other things that really helped was when I sold and had paid down the mortgage enough to feel like I'd basically had an extra savings account, and buying houses that actually made money and showed me it was luck rather than judgement really.

Original poster
Newhousecrying · 07/08/2022 23:16

Isonthecase · 07/08/2022 22:54

Been there, done that. I'm still annoyed at the bastards that hid the issues and lied about it nearly a decade later BUT it was still a better investment than paying on renting for the time I would have been there. Just.

The other things that really helped was when I sold and had paid down the mortgage enough to feel like I'd basically had an extra savings account, and buying houses that actually made money and showed me it was luck rather than judgement really.

YES! I’m so angry at the people
who sold us the house and hid loads of issues. They even lied on the PIF but the solicitor said it’s not worth pursuing because we’d end up paying more in solicitors fees than we would for their misrepresentation.

OP posts:
Isonthecase · 08/08/2022 03:19

@Newhousecrying yep, sad to say it's eye opening. You will feel better about it eventually though, wait until you're more settled in the house 😊

autienotnaughty · 08/08/2022 04:27

Do it up how you like it and live in it. If you come to sell down line you will likely make a profit. But just enjoy your new house.

ivykaty44 · 08/08/2022 04:39

If you’re having the house retired etc, I would put solar panels on & a battery whilst you’re doing all the work.

itll save you up to 70%

Twiglets1 · 08/08/2022 06:45

I understand that you're upset but as for vendors hiding issues, I think you should accept that is quite normal and you will probably do the same thing yourself when you come to sell! I don't mean lying on the PIF but I would say it's normal to try to hide minor problems with your property when you are trying to get the best price on it (which you need for your onwards move).
I think those property programmes give people quite a bit of anxiety with their talk of ceiling prices (which are fluid) and how after spending about 15k people can have a completely transformed property (not possible in the real world for most of us who don't have families of builders/plumbers/electricians). The fact is, the current ceiling price will rise during the 3 or so years you are living there, so if you end up having one of the nicer properties on the street you won't be wasting your money. Refurbishments always look worse before they look better and you are making progress. You are on the property ladder and that is a big achievement right now and in a years time I bet you will like your property a lot more than you do right now.

Wearefoooked22 · 08/08/2022 07:28

Same thing has happened to us op,survey missed so much!
we don’t have that much spare cash thanks to the cost of living,
we have been watching YouTube videos to try an do as much as we can ourselves,
the vendor had some parcels delivered here by accident,she wouldn’t come and collect them her self which tells you everything!