Buyers remorse and costs

[Newhousecrying]

Hi everyone, I’m a long time lurker, and taken a while to get the courage to post this so please be kind

DH and I completed on our first home 3 months ago. We offered in February after looking for 6months and being outbid everytime. We paid over asking for this one (and over the valuation). Because in the 6 months we were looking things were just getting more and more expensive. And everyone we knew who was buying a house was also paying over the asking. Now it feels like things have gone the other way and I feel like a complete idiot.

since we’ve completed we’ve just had so many problems. The repairs required are more than we knew (had L3 survey- loads of things were not picked up). cost of works is much higher than expected.

Looking at the costs, we’re going to exceed the ‘ceiling price’ of the street by at least 10k. And that’s without getting a new kitchen. Which looked ok when we saw it but actually when looking more carefully, it’s really nasty :(

DH is working so hard to keep things moving. I’ve cried almost every day for months. Friends have suggested I see my GP for relaxants because I’m so anxious about it. I just wish we’d been sensible and slowed down and not bought it.

It looks terrible now because we’ve started the work (removed all the wallpaper and floor etc). We’d lose 70k if we tried to sell now. We’re scrimping like mad to save money day to day.

I don’t know what we can do. I’m so afraid of us spending too much to make it nice to live in and then ‘losing’ all that money when we need to sell.

posting now because I just watched ‘worst house in the street’ and they’re talking about costs and ceiling prices and I just burst into tears.

I spent the first few weeks constantly crying. I was heavily pregnant and looking for a big kitchen and larger garden for our growing family. That's all I really took in when we bought it. The amount of work that needed doing overwhelmed us for a while. Bathroom was awful.
We cracked on with whenever we could afford it and gradually settled in. Getting rid of their awful carpets really made a difference and painting all the multi coloured ceilings!
Here we are now 30 years later looking at downsizing. Oh and the kitchen needs doing again...
That little baby is now 30 years old and has just gone from renting to buying his first home with his own little family. Times are tough for him and property prices are doing a similar thing to those you mentioned. I'm so relieved he's no longer renting though.
I hope you settle in, feel happier soon and have many happy years there. 💐

Honestly, it will get better! So daunting at the beginning but you have done absolutely the right thing buying your own home. We had a few issues here - I thought it would be perfect, as we were coming from a very old cottage that required constant maintenance. I said to my husband, 'you'll have nothing to do at the new house' - wrong of course. Loads of issues - but most sorted - but then of course others have cropped up - all part of owning a house with onward repairs and maintenance. We're waiting for the plumber this morning actually!!!

I can only echo PP. The ceiling price of the street is irrelevant if you're not planning on selling any time soon. You're paying the money to have a nice house to live in that will be exactly how you want it - that has its own value which isn't measured in pound signs.

But if it makes you happier to assess things financially, every penny you are spending now is going towards making something you own more valuable. Your mortgage is creating wealth - this is an asset that you are purchasing. In 5, 10, 15 years time - however long you spend there - you will have equity behind you. So the £500 on your mortgage plus any money spent on repairs will be creating an asset. And long term property prices will increase, so that ceiling will go up.

In contrast, you say you were spending £1000 per month on rent. That's £12,000 every year that you were just giving away. In five years time that would be £60,000 in your landlord's pocket - not a penny of that would go towards creating equity and wealth for you.

When you consider it in those terms, buying a house is a no-brainer. Honestly.

Cheer up, OP. Houses need housework - and that's more than keeping things clean and tidy. I moved into my current home in the 1980s and have altered layouts, upgraded aspects, added bits and redecorated, but there are still improvements I'd like to make. On the whole, it fits me as well as if I were a snail in a shell..Yours will go from upsetting you to being a home that is a series of Projects and perhaps even become a Hobby, as I fear mine has. It may feel like a money pit now, but one of the reasons pits were sunk was to generate more money for their owners.

We bought a house that needed a lot doing to it - although we knew about it as got the most detailed survey. There was no way we could afford it all at once.

Make a list or a spreadsheet of what needs doing and separate it into: urgent (eg must do now for safety reasons), do in next 1-2 years, next 3-5 years, anything else. That means you can then plan for it. We did the roof and electrics in the first batch, whereas the kitchen was in the 3-5 year batch.

It's very different to renting where it's normally at a basic standard at least when you move in. Owning means you need to budget a certain amount per year just for basic maintenance plus any work you want to do.

As long as you're there for several years you're unlikely to lose money on it - we spent £100k over 12 years on ours, but it rose in value by over £250k in that time.

Thanks everyone :) there’s so much good advice, I can’t reply each one but I really appreciate it.

yes, I think I’m thinking too financially and I like the idea of putting the ‘extra’ we have through mortgage+interest being less than rent to repairs/ maintenance costs. Thinking of it that way means in a number of years (depending on other costs) we’d still ‘break even’ with renting, but have capital saved up.

To PP who said about the property programmes- Yes! Those figures on are insane! I watched one recently where they modernised the entire downstairs of a house (inc new kitchen, moved a wall) for 15k! I don’t see how it’s possible!

This is what happens when you view buying a house as a way to make money rather than a home.
You like the area, you plan to stay a few years. It's not pristine but neither is it a hovel. Just do some cosmetic bits and live in it for a year while you save up and get used to it. Then plan to do bit by bit what you want.
There is no hurry.

I honestly don’t think we’re trying to make money. I’m just afraid we’ll lose a lot of money from our error in offering/ completing three months ago.

I think it’s laughable sometimes the prices they say they spend to transform their homes. Either they are lying or have a team of tradespeople behind them in the family who aren’t charging them any fitting costs. In reality it is expensive to renovate but you can do it slowly and it’s so worth it when you see your house taking shape with your own style and taste

See if you can see the date the programme was made - some of the Homes Under the Hammer episode were filmed well over ten years ago!

True but some are recent like that Worst house in the street one, or whatever it’s called. I watch them all, I’m obsessed!

Do you think they get cheap rates because they're appearing on TV? Like Challenge Anneka used to get people to do loads of work for free?!

I don’t know - they say it with a straight face though and I’m like “What??”
If they get cheap rates through the show I wish they wouldn’t act like renovating a house on a shoestring is normal. It makes the rest of us feel worse re what we have to pay plumbers, electricians etc 🥴 I’ve spent more on one little kitchen than some of them claim to spend on renovating a whole house!

house maintenance is ongoing, things will need re-painting not on a two yearly instagram basis but over 10 years most things will need repainted you will not however need to rewire reroof or replaster again but you will need to clean gutters from fallen leaves, power wash the patio or slabs and make sure drains are ok annually, houses are like cars they need maintenance to keep them going.

Living with this kitchen will help you know exactly how it needs to be different what works and what doesn't and you will be clear when you get round to it.

When I first moved into my first home 30 years ago it was expected we would have mismatched furniture from relatives and second hand stores, my house was affordable at 3 times my income but interest rates were also about 11%
Social media and instagram have raised our expectations of how a home should look just try and see it not as an investment but as a cosy secure nest for you and DH, as you say you have had enough of other peoples magnolia and grey boxes, you can do as you like hang pictures knock nails into walls, cut the grass leave it as a wild flower meadow for bees as you choose, no worrying about landlord wanting to sell and having to move etc, amidst the frustration there is still lots to be positive about
The vendors lying is a poor show but try and put it behind you and be pleased you have better morals

Just spoke to a friend about this and he said he applied for one of the shows (not sure which one) because you get the trades/ labour paid for and only have to pay for the materials.

i watched worst house on the street and that was bonkers. They did an entire house inside and out (new kitchen, bathroom, porch!!) for under 40k.

Thanks. True about the vendors, but it is quite hard to swallow.

DH says it’s time to limit the social media decor stuff and we’re not going to live in an ‘Instagram house’. It’s also really against our ethos because we have mismatch furniture already, and if we had an insta house we’d have to throw out pieces we have and buy new….

Oh yes I saw the one with the porch. At least I thought the price of the porch was realistic (about 5k) but not so much the kitchen/bathroom etc . Still, that’s interesting to hear about your friend, that could partly explain it.

Anyway, the point is that most of those shows are a bit fake and you mustn’t let them upset you. Take no notice unless you can get Sarah Beeney round to film your progress and throw in lots of freebies!

Think about how much you are learning in this process.

It amazes me that people pay for things like painting a bedroom (a staircase I get!)
Understanding a bit about the make up of your house, order jobs are done in, making simple improvements will help you for years to come.

Work with whatever you've got where possible. So many people rip out decent kitchens when changing the worktop and painting it would have transformed it.

And you really do stop noticing the imperfections over time! Things that you thought you'd do straight away are still there 10 years later

I’m definitely learning new skills!

I’ve painted the kitchen cabinets and we’re going to paint the walls. We removed all the wallpaper and we’re gardening! We’ve learned not to tear out the ceiling wallpaper without checking what’s under a tiny corner first.I’m going to try Plastering (only a very small/ inconsequential corner of the kitchen).

and we know so much more about things to really look out for when viewing a house

OP this will make you laugh. I just bought my third house. The first house I bought years ago was a repossession that had been done up by a developer and I failed to notice loads of things at the viewings - such as there was a new kitchen, with a space for a fridge. But they hadn't bothered putting in a socket to plug a fridge in there!

OP - many of us have been there. I had a complete wobble when I bought my first flat. I was convinced it had shrunk in size from when I viewed it and that it was going to fall down because I spotted a few cracks. Thought I was in a money trap and had made a very poor investment.

It wasn't so. Over a long period of time, buying is the right decision. If you stayed in this house for 20 years, in the second 10 years your monthly mortgage payment will likely be much less than market rent and your house will be just as you like it - not like renting where you are restricted in what you can do. The purchase price is fixed while everything else rises over time. You will most likely look back and reflect that in the scheme of things the purchase price was good - although I suspect that there will be a dip in house prices in a little while then they will recover and build again. Don't lose heart if this happens - you're in for the long haul.

I am on my third house and missed loads when I viewed🤣.

I was totally unrealistic about how much it would cost to change it to my style.

but taking your time means you think through every decision. I changed the bathroom first - and sometimes just stand and look at ot with a big smile on my face!

as you personalise it you will learn to love it.

And remember @Newhousecrying the value of your deposit has just risen 13% in 12 moths (inflation). Houses are the best place for your money in a very inflationary economy. If you had waited your deposit would shrink in real terms by the same amount.

They missed the socket?!? LOL! That’s nuts!!!