Page 3 | Buyers remorse and costs

Newhousecrying · 2022-08-07T18:25:22+00:00

Hi everyone, I’m a long time lurker, and taken a while to get the courage to post this so please be kind DH and I completed on our first home 3 months ago. We offered in February after looking for 6months and being outbid everytime. We paid over asking for this one (and over the valuation). Because in the 6 months we were looking things were just getting more and more expensive. And everyone we knew who was buying a house was also paying over the asking. Now it feels like things have gone the other way and I feel like a complete idiot. since we’ve completed we’ve just had so many problems. The repairs required are more than we knew (had L3 survey- loads of things were not picked up). cost of works is much higher than expected. Looking at the costs, we’re going to exceed the ‘ceiling price’ of the street by at least 10k. And that’s without getting a new kitchen. Which looked ok when we saw it but actually when looking more carefully, it’s really nasty :( DH is working so hard to keep things moving. I’ve cried almost every day for months. Friends have suggested I see my GP for relaxants because I’m so anxious about it. I just wish we’d been sensible and slowed down and not bought it. It looks terrible now because we’ve started the work (removed all the wallpaper and floor etc). We’d lose 70k if we tried to sell now. We’re scrimping like mad to save money day to day. I don’t know what we can do. I’m so afraid of us spending too much to make it nice to live in and then ‘losing’ all that money when we need to sell. posting now because I just watched ‘worst house in the street’ and they’re talking about costs and ceiling prices and I just burst into tears.

Original poster

Newhousecrying · 09/08/2022 00:37

shandon14 · 08/08/2022 22:52

OP - many of us have been there. I had a complete wobble when I bought my first flat. I was convinced it had shrunk in size from when I viewed it and that it was going to fall down because I spotted a few cracks. Thought I was in a money trap and had made a very poor investment.

It wasn't so. Over a long period of time, buying is the right decision. If you stayed in this house for 20 years, in the second 10 years your monthly mortgage payment will likely be much less than market rent and your house will be just as you like it - not like renting where you are restricted in what you can do. The purchase price is fixed while everything else rises over time. You will most likely look back and reflect that in the scheme of things the purchase price was good - although I suspect that there will be a dip in house prices in a little while then they will recover and build again. Don't lose heart if this happens - you're in for the long haul.

‘I was convinced it had shrunk in size from when I viewed it and that it was going to fall down because I spotted a few cracks. Thought I was in a money trap and had made a very poor investment.’

yes! This is how I feel! I’m convinced none of our furniture will fit in… and we’ll have to swap our king size bed for a queen or have no wardrobes…

OP posts:

Original poster

Newhousecrying · 09/08/2022 00:40

Stripedbag101 · 08/08/2022 23:33

I am on my third house and missed loads when I viewed🤣.

I was totally unrealistic about how much it would cost to change it to my style.

but taking your time means you think through every decision. I changed the bathroom first - and sometimes just stand and look at ot with a big smile on my face!

as you personalise it you will learn to love it.

yeah, we’re excited to paint but it feels so far away while we wait for the other work…I think the increase in costs of works to change things to how we want has stung us a bit. But might be a blessing in disguise. We’ll have to wait to do the kitchen, and like everyone’s saying maybe waiting will help us decide how we want it :)

OP posts:

Original poster

Newhousecrying · 09/08/2022 00:42

madroid · 09/08/2022 00:28

And remember @Newhousecrying the value of your deposit has just risen 13% in 12 moths (inflation). Houses are the best place for your money in a very inflationary economy. If you had waited your deposit would shrink in real terms by the same amount.

That’s an interesting way to think about it. I don’t think my brain works that way and is more focussed on the house prices reductions/ house price falls being reported.

OP posts:

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 09/08/2022 00:52

I'm in a similar situation and it's infuriating. The sellers lied about a lot - including that it flooded, there were huge cracks and movement/sinking under the thick ivy plus we're stuck with a wanker for a neighbour attached to us.

It's a renovation project and we can't sell it until it's fully renovated as we'd definitely lose money. We have 2 very small children and my DP has 3 jobs while I'm on maternity leave so we just don't have the time or money needed to complete it.

We're about 3/4 through a kitchen refurb which has cost us double what we hoped to pay. Also over half way through refitting the main bathroom but it's looking great already. The downstairs toilet is 95% finished and the utility units have turned up this week so my DP is ripping that room apart too. There's so much to do I just can't see there being an end to it.

Original poster

Newhousecrying · 09/08/2022 00:59

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 09/08/2022 00:52

I'm in a similar situation and it's infuriating. The sellers lied about a lot - including that it flooded, there were huge cracks and movement/sinking under the thick ivy plus we're stuck with a wanker for a neighbour attached to us.

It's a renovation project and we can't sell it until it's fully renovated as we'd definitely lose money. We have 2 very small children and my DP has 3 jobs while I'm on maternity leave so we just don't have the time or money needed to complete it.

We're about 3/4 through a kitchen refurb which has cost us double what we hoped to pay. Also over half way through refitting the main bathroom but it's looking great already. The downstairs toilet is 95% finished and the utility units have turned up this week so my DP is ripping that room apart too. There's so much to do I just can't see there being an end to it.

Oh no! That sounds horrible. I’m so sorry. Our attached neighbours worries me. A few nights we’ve been there they’ve had their tv/ music on really loud (I think they put their speakers on the party wall- who does that?!??!). I cried each time it happened.

did you chase the vendors for misrepresentation regarding the flooding?

it’s so hard isn’t it? I feel like I can’t see the end. I feel like we just have this house that we have to pay for, like a tax. It jut doesn’t feel like home and it feels so far from being a home that don’t see it ever feeling like
home

OP posts:

Original poster

Newhousecrying · 29/08/2022 11:04

so now we know why the neighbours had a shed that was taken away with them. It was covering a really bad bamboo problem (which we couldn’t see when we viewed the house!). It growing under the other shed. I hate them so much!

how do we get rid of this???

OP posts:

Dougieowner · 29/08/2022 11:32

Schooldil3ma · 07/08/2022 19:34

If you plan to stay there it really won't matter in the long run. You seem to be viewing this from a purely financial perspective, it should be your home primarily, not an investment.

Spot on.

It is a place to live, if it happens to make you money then that is a bonus but otherwise just enjoy living there.
If you are thinking of moving anytime soon then yes, you may loose money but that is a risk you take when looking to stop somewhere for only a short while. Long term you should be fine.

Spr33 · 29/08/2022 12:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster

Newhousecrying · 31/08/2022 09:30

and now the roofer is saying the building surveyor was wrong about the repairs and we need a new roof!

this is a nightmare!! I don’t know to cope with all this! I feel like we’ve been taken for utter mugs in buying this house.

OP posts:

Volterra · 31/08/2022 09:39

Don’t take the Roofer’s word for it. Ask around and get recommendations for some more and see what they say. There’s a guy where we live who is a roofer and a total rip off merchant - quoted 33.5k for extension roof, we paid 12k in the end.

Dreamstate · 31/08/2022 09:45

Think you just need to take a breath, get a list and prioritise. Honestly it doesn't have to look perfectly right now. I had no money when I bought mine, just enough for a bed, one wardrobe and sofa. No dining room table for 5 years. I would love to change my kitchen but can't afford it - its been 10years.

Just do the things you can that need doing because doing it later is more disruptive and costly. You might not like your kitchen but it doesn't need changing.

Other than my kitchen and bathroom you might walk into my house and think its insta perfect but its taken me 10yrs to get to that point and its only me with one income.

Just lower your expectations and stop crying

RidingMyBike · 31/08/2022 10:40

The roofer is chancing it looking to make money - we had some elderly neighbours who got scammed like this. What did the surveyor say about the roof and whether it needed work (and the timeframe for this?)

Original poster

Newhousecrying · 31/08/2022 11:09

The surveyor said to replace the missing tiles, and do some general cleaning of the moss and repoint. The roofer said the roof is in such a bad state that he won’t do repairs on it.

OP posts:

BarrelOfOtters · 31/08/2022 11:13

Get a new roofer in and a second opinion. You can also ring the surveyor up and get him to talk you through his/her opinion.

You may need to borrow more initially to get this all sorted, but honestly it will come out in the wash in the end.

RidingMyBike · 31/08/2022 11:46

Is this a roofer you've found via personal recommendation?

I'd get a second opinion, ideally from someone recommended by someone you know and trust. And check with the surveyor - we had similar comments about our roof but problems with the chimney identified (cost estimated at £6k) so I'd expect a survey to pick up the need for major roof works.

Bellow21 · 31/08/2022 12:45

Hello, just wanted to say OP I’m in the same boat as you. We bought a new house in July (our second house purchase) and I regret it so so much. The vendors hid a load of issues, I’m worried about it structurally and cannot see myself living here for much longer but we have to. Sorry, I have no advise but we have managed to strip wallpaper off a few disgusting 70s rooms and paint one room that is ‘liveable’ for now. We’re pretty fast running out of money and haven’t completed half the stuff we needed to. It’s depressing but I guess the way to look at it is you saw enough in the house to offer in the first place. We came from a new build which I’m constantly comparing to, but that took a while to feel like home also when I think about it. Also, I’ll put money on the fact our kitchen is probably far far worse than yours (half the backs are missing off the cupboards, loads of mould behind the sink which we can’t clean off), general stink to them even though they have been scrubbed 🤦‍♀️

bigTillyMint · 31/08/2022 14:17

Get a second and then third opinion on your roof - we had vastly different quotes for a problem we had, and the last guy did something really simple for £50 which had solved the problem so far!

Some tradespeople really try it on, especially if they think you seem naive/anxious, etc.

Oblah · 31/08/2022 15:00

Newhousecrying · 31/08/2022 11:09

The surveyor said to replace the missing tiles, and do some general cleaning of the moss and repoint. The roofer said the roof is in such a bad state that he won’t do repairs on it.

He probably just doesn’t want to do a small job. Honestly get some other quotes in.

Curlyfifteen · 31/08/2022 15:09

Can you rent it out?

Original poster

Newhousecrying · 31/08/2022 15:37

Curlyfifteen · 31/08/2022 15:09

Can you rent it out?

Not in its current state. The kitchen is a mess (see pictures in my patching up the wall thread :( ). The bamboo would need sorting. And there’s still the roof problem.

We’d probably get 2-2.5x the mortgage payments amounts in rent (if we’re not forced to go to a BTL / higher interest rate). We locked this rate in at 1.5ish% not sure what a BTL would be now. We’d have to pay to live somewhere else, which would be much more than the mortgage cost

OP posts:

Original poster

Newhousecrying · 31/08/2022 15:46

RidingMyBike · 31/08/2022 11:46

Is this a roofer you've found via personal recommendation?

I'd get a second opinion, ideally from someone recommended by someone you know and trust. And check with the surveyor - we had similar comments about our roof but problems with the chimney identified (cost estimated at £6k) so I'd expect a survey to pick up the need for major roof works.

Not really a personal recommendation but it’s the roofer our neighbor who is a tradesman is using in his own roof, so we assume he’s good.

though if he’s friendly with the neighbour the neighbour might have told him how naive we are…

OP posts:

Gastonia · 31/08/2022 16:09

You can just dig the bamboo out. It will stop coming back after a while.

Scepticalwotsits · 31/08/2022 16:14

long term sound possitive unless you over leveraged youself which if you have an extra £500 in the bank between this and renting seems not to be the case.

Dont get hung up on valuation and price as its a quick way to unhappiness. If its for flipping of course, if its for living, make it suitable for you, not for a prospective buyer in say 7 to 10 years, and then be miserable in the house that s a compromise from what you wanted

Original poster

Newhousecrying · 31/08/2022 16:52

Scepticalwotsits · 31/08/2022 16:14

long term sound possitive unless you over leveraged youself which if you have an extra £500 in the bank between this and renting seems not to be the case.

Dont get hung up on valuation and price as its a quick way to unhappiness. If its for flipping of course, if its for living, make it suitable for you, not for a prospective buyer in say 7 to 10 years, and then be miserable in the house that s a compromise from what you wanted

This is the key point. If we stay here long term 5+ year I wouldn’t sweat it at all.

there are loads of things I want to do to make it better for us but so afraid of putting too much money into it and never getting anything back.

Eg The bamboo wouldn’t bother me so much if it wasn’t for the fear of putting too much money into it. It’s near an old small shed which is really badly positioned. The garden would look so much bigger and be sunnier if the shed was on the other side, and we’d be able to get a bigger one in thats further from the property boundary fence so better security. So if we had no money worries, I’d take that shed down in a minute, build a new one on the other side, and kill the bamboo.

Same with the kitchen. I’ve got a kitchen design that gives us loads more storage space (designing things to fit into tiny spaces is my job!) and uses one less wall space so opens up the room.

But these things all cost money that we wont have and would bring our costs to well over the valuation.

DH sat down with me at lunch to talk over it. I think it’s been really hard for him. He said he’s getting quite worried about how hung up I am on the valuation and he said he feels partly to blame for how bad im feeling (which is AWFUL!!) because he wanted to buy it too. But it’s so hard for me to let go of the regret and shame of having bought this house and then harder to get the balance right between what we want/ putting money in to best use the space vs being able to sell in a few years if we have to without losing loads of money, and feeling crappier for buying such a sh*t hole

im just so angry that we didn’t see these problems or anticipate them

OP posts:

Gastonia · 31/08/2022 17:02

Taking down the shed and killing the bamboo wouldn't cost anything, as you can do it yourself. Also, we got a second hand outbuilding (greenhouse in our case) on ebay for next to nothing, so you could find a shed that way too. Even with kitchens, you can cut costs by eg choosing the cheaper standard units, buying ex-demo etc.

If I were you, I'd make a list of what you want to do, and start doing them. Otherwise, you'll be stuck obsessing on buyers remorse, when in life, nothing is perfect, and it's not the end of the world.