Buyers remorse and costs

[Newhousecrying]

Hi everyone, I’m a long time lurker, and taken a while to get the courage to post this so please be kind

DH and I completed on our first home 3 months ago. We offered in February after looking for 6months and being outbid everytime. We paid over asking for this one (and over the valuation). Because in the 6 months we were looking things were just getting more and more expensive. And everyone we knew who was buying a house was also paying over the asking. Now it feels like things have gone the other way and I feel like a complete idiot.

since we’ve completed we’ve just had so many problems. The repairs required are more than we knew (had L3 survey- loads of things were not picked up). cost of works is much higher than expected.

Looking at the costs, we’re going to exceed the ‘ceiling price’ of the street by at least 10k. And that’s without getting a new kitchen. Which looked ok when we saw it but actually when looking more carefully, it’s really nasty :(

DH is working so hard to keep things moving. I’ve cried almost every day for months. Friends have suggested I see my GP for relaxants because I’m so anxious about it. I just wish we’d been sensible and slowed down and not bought it.

It looks terrible now because we’ve started the work (removed all the wallpaper and floor etc). We’d lose 70k if we tried to sell now. We’re scrimping like mad to save money day to day.

I don’t know what we can do. I’m so afraid of us spending too much to make it nice to live in and then ‘losing’ all that money when we need to sell.

posting now because I just watched ‘worst house in the street’ and they’re talking about costs and ceiling prices and I just burst into tears.

@Teenyliving this is by no means the worse thing that has happened to me in my life.

In that case why do you think this is causing you so much distress?

So you think all other problems should be trivialised because they’re not as bad as the worst thing that has happened to me?

Hi OP,

Me again. Sorry this is still affecting you.

Might seem an odd question but are you actually living in the house?

Cripes I was just trying to help you to reframe what is a clearly unhelpful response to your situation.

crack on with your hysteria about a broken boiler then 🤷‍♀️

You might exceed the ceiling if you are newly renovated and you get to live in a house that is exactly how you want it.

Try not to panic. We are renovating at the moment and i think we are about £50k short now that there is no turning back!

I felt a bit like this 15 years ago when we bought our house. Loads of expensive refurbs, tight budgets, not feeling at home, anxiety, young kids, workmen to deal with, stressed at work.
Well now it has more than doubled and we have 15 years of largely happy memories and a few workmen horror stories to look back on.

Now you have it, make the most of it. It will likely all turn out just fine

We've already bought the most expensive house on the (short) street. It has more bedrooms than the others, which is why. We're then going to spend more than £100k doing it up as we bought from elderly widower and it's in a big state.

So we'll be far in excess of the 'ceiling price' for the road. But this is a house we intend to live in for at least 15-20 years so it doesn't matter.

Yes we had to do all those things so you’re seeing all the work and costs and disruption without having time to just settle in and enjoy it. But you will and you’ll be so glad you’re no longer renting and that this really is your home

Teenyliving your comments are unhelpful. Obviously there are worse things that could happen to the OP but a broken boiler is pretty shit not to mention the damage to her property.

Why are people expected to accept and not complain when shit happens because ‘there’s always someone worse off’?

I’ve been where the OP is and am still in the midst of an expensive and stressful renovation. I’ve had the unhelpful ‘at least you have a home’ comments here on MN and IRL.
Of course I’m grateful to have a roof over my head. But I’m not going to sit here smiling and clapping in delight about all the shit that’s reigned down on me these last few months. Living out of suitcases, bouncing from hotel rooms to air bnbs with DC in tow, robbed by an errant builder, surrounded by dust and chaos. I should feel grateful and* *‘reframe’ the situation because others have it worse? No, I’ll vent because it’s been awful and OP should as well.

@Teenyliving thank you for your replies. I think @Eastie77Returns put it best. I’m fully aware there are worst things (my last year started with a double bereavement and ended with a cancer diagnosis (not mine) and had almost every tv sob story line in between) but does not mean that this situation isn’t shit. It’s not just the broken boiler. There is leaking coming from outside. The paint bubbled and peeled in a corner of the bedroom (both are external walls), I worked hard to keep out of hysterics and be pragmatic. And THEN we found the broken boiler. Hence the unrelenting.

@LemonSwan we do not live there full time now. Mostly because of the refurb work and my stress. but I think it might be more negative now because when something happens or we need to do work on the house, we have to drive 45mins from my parents to the new house. And though we’re very lucky to be able to do that it does take its toll. We’re slowly moving back now that the messier jobs are done.

@crowdedout thanks :) how much refurb work are you doing?

@musicaldilemma thanks. I’m trying to have faith that it will turn out ok, but we just keep finding more problems so it feels like it will never be ok or even end…

@RidingMyBike thanks. have you started the work? I worry we’ll need to move in 3 years (when my training is over) and will lose a lot of money.

@Abracadabra12345 Thank you. I know a huge part of it is the big costs coming out now. I thought all of them were done but now with the leaking, I’m more concerned. I think it doesn’t feel homely because we only go to the house now to check our things are properly covered/ work/ check something that’s broken, so it all feels like a chore and not at all homey.

@Eastie77Returns thank you for understanding. Sometimes I feel worse because it feels like it never ends. I had a horrible last year, which ran into this year, and the feeling that the shit doesn’t stop coming is awful and exhausting.

No we haven't started the work yet - still finalising quote details. Have now owned the house for nearly 2.5 months. We're currently haemorrhaging money on rent/mortgage, 2 x council tax and 2 x utility bills (obvs barely anything at the house we own but the standing charge alone is £25 a month!).

I’m sure it will all be fine in the end but, sometimes, something like a broken boiler, while not the end of the world, can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. You have obviously had an extremely difficult and stressful time in the last year or so. It would be amazing if you did not get upset at some point or another. Many, many people find that events such as the Queen’s death or even a pet dying can unstop the dam of grief of a very close family member. Remember, too, that moving house is one of the most stressful life events - up there with death, divorce and weddings. Please be kind to yourself and remember that before long you will have a lovely home that you own not rent and will be able to enjoy living in it.

I think you should just move in.

An empty/ barely lived in house is horrific regardless of it’s state. And I say that as someone who’s nearly finished a whole house Reno (back to brick, the works) and the room I hate the most is the brand spanking new bathroom - really it’s gorgeous. Freestanding stone bath, walk in shower, the works. But there’s just something horrible about an empty room/ house that’s not lived in. I just shudder at it because it’s our most finished room but it looks really grim without the paraphernalia. You know a well placed mirror, a house plant, a candle, some nicely rolled towels etc. The dressing gown on the back of the door. The toothbrush holder etc.

A home is what you make. It’s really not the bones I promise. And once you move in as pp say these things bother you less and less. 90% of a home is really how you live in it.

Most boiler problems are fixable. Doesn't mean you need a new boiler

Personally I would delay moving in until the worst of the big/messy jobs are completed.

I couldn’t cope living in this house when the plastering, rewiring and other associated works were ongoing. It was too stressful and impossible to manage the kids when we had no functioning kitchen and intermittent hot water. It cost a small fortune to rent & pay mortgage but what price my sanity?

That said, a 45 min drive is a long round trip OP. Is there a possibility you can get an Air BnB let nearer the property for the final couple of weeks or so before the refurb finishes?

I thought you were actually living there, hence the stress.

I wonder if this is all a delayed reaction to 2 bereavements finding an outlet.

It’s annoying about the boiler but likely fixable. At least you’re not cold.

I’d look at guttering if the water ingress is only in one corner (thought I note you’ve got concerns over the roof too). If it is a leaky / blocked gutter it’s relatively cheap to fix

I feel your pain about the surveyor missing so much. On a previous house, I paid for a full survey and it wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on. I had spotted everything he picked up, because it was all the glaringly obvious stuff.

He didn’t find the asbestos (which, given the age of the house, we were later told he should have expected to be where it was). He also missed a few other, expensive, issues. We made a formal complaint and were fobbed off with the usual caveats about not moving curtains or some such.

Hang on in there with the house. However much you think you’ve overpaid, it’ll still be a better long term investment than renting.

I have done two full and one part renovations. They are always very stressful and you always overspend dramatically. The money is an investment, you will realise the returns when you sell and when it is all done it is worth the blood, sweat and tears! Think of the long term view.

So much of this was true. we ran out of time and money so as soon as the boiler was fixed we had to move in. The house still leaks sometimes after very heavy rain. The kitchen is half demo’ed and we can only use a small corner. Every room has something wrong with it so there’s no proper fully sanctuary space. but I no longer notice the wonky skirting boards or badly scratched doors. It was much easier to just get on with our lives when we were living in it.

Ultimately I still regret buying the house, especially with the property prices crashing all around, but I’m better at accepting (on most days) that it’s par for the course. Driving back and forth multiply times a week was definitely adding to the stress.

Plus we had to clean up all the dust in the bath and add a shower screen seal. It’s a funny one because I saw the gap (which looked massive) whenever we came to the house. it was so frustrating and upsetting but because we weren’t living there it was never a priority. And yet it was so easy and made a huge difference. It was a very simple job, which I did, and costed about £12.

I’ve realised it’s good to have these things on our first house. If we bought a ‘perfect’ house and later upsized to something that needs all the same work, it would all cost more because of it being a bigger house. This is like our learner house :p

thanks everyone for your replies.

10k is nothing in the grand scheme of things assuming you're going to be staying put a while.
It's a slog but once it's done up, it'll be your prefect home.

We're in our "learner house" too. We haven't had the big problems you've had, mostly just small things that need fixing but it does feel like they're adding up quickly at a time when we're really trying to watch our spending.

We bought a big house just outside our first choice area and I was dreading the move. Once all our stuff was here, though, it really did start to feel more like home.

I still think everyday about eventually selling and buying something smaller in our first choice area (hopefully there will be more available there at some point), but it's a fine enough place to be for a few years. I'm relieved we're no longer shoving money into a landlord's pocket.

I hope you continue to feel more at home in your new place. Good luck!

Sorry to resurrect an old thread, but I came across this as I’m about to head into a similar situation. We have exchanged on a property which is empty and has gone through probate. I went to see it again this week and as soon as I walked through the door, there was a strong smell of gas. Asked that an engineer visit the next day and he has condemned the boiler, saying it is a huge risk. This is despite our sellers saying that the boiler had been serviced at the end of 2022 and the surveyor saying it was in a good condition! We haven’t even moved in yet and I feel we have been horribly, horribly naive.
Just wondering how you are getting on now @Newhousecrying? I hope you are feeling better about things.

Did you get house insurance when you exchanged contracts? I expect your solicitor will have insisted on it so you may be able to claim to get a new boiler installed?

If you are willing and use *YouTube tutorials you can pick up ex display kitchens and bathrooms pretty cheaply
Check out DIY kitchens
Ikea do interest free credit for large purchases (wish we'd done this...kept trying to make the kitchen less bad and it just didn't work and cost £££)
*not for electrics or gas, obviously