Estate Agent cliches / pet peeves

[CoronaIsWatching]

What really grinds your gears on estate agent property listings?

Mine are;

• "For sale by the modern method of auction"
• "The ever popular x"
• "In need of modernisation"
• Some generic statement about being close to bars, shops and restaurants

Every day during my property search I see each of the above, drives me barmy!

"Compromising of"

The cheesy sayings in the advert like "This one won't hang around for long!".

Especially when they do end up hanging around for a long time

Guide Price £200-£210K. What on this planet does that mean? Would an offer below £200K be rejected? or do they want £210k?

It has been renovated to a high standard!!

Isn't in need of modernisation a factual statement though? How else should they phrase it. Requires work? Dated?

Peen & Fadge estate agents are "proud to present to market"

So pompous.

Houses which 'boast', eg this charming property boasts three reception rooms.

'Viewing advised'

Every area is 'highly sought after'

The word “stunning” makes my teeth itch

Just seen one that offers a 'coir door mat'. Think they were struggling a bit!

This property in the cosmopolitan town of ....... made me cringe on a recent listing

I’ve been living opposite a building site development which has billboards boasting of “private outdoors gardens” ffs gardens are all outdoors!!

"deceptively spacious"

'Benefits from', always followed by something that you'd expect as standard, like walls or indoor plumbing.

UNNECESSARY capitals to EMPHASISE some total BULLSHIT

'Executive detached'

Courtyard style garden/low maintenance garden = a few sad paved square feet

Just seen one that offers a 'coir door mat'. Think they were struggling a bit!

🤣

'Unveiled to the market'

'Boasts a spacious master/a light filled living room/GCSE in social studies'

My favourite... not... is the agent whose listings go along the following lines:

Bedroom 1: double glazed window, panel radiator, ceiling downlight, power point

Bedroom 2: double glazed window, panel radiator, ceiling downlight, power point

Bedroom 3: double glazed window, panel radiator, ceiling downlight, power point

Bathroom: washbasin, low level WC, shower cubicle...

Really makes me want to buy every house they market.

@Pomegranatemolasses

Houses which 'boast', eg this charming property boasts three reception rooms.

'Viewing advised'

Yes viewing advised. Isn't that true for all properties? Are there some they don't think it's worth the bother?

One near us has twee little headings to attract your attention
'Excellence as standard' and 'Elegant Evolution' being two current ones.
One of our local estate agents has an Aspirational Homes range. No idea what that is supposed to mean.

"Master bedroom", ugh

Yeah, 'comprised of' always used to irritate me but it doesn't seem as common these days, I think they've been given a heads-up!

'Proud to present' (this bog-standard 3BR semi....)🤔🤥

OIEO 🙄