Moral dilemma

[PLNB31]

Hi just wanted a little advise, I have my house on the market as currently (been up for around 2weeks) looking for a bigger house for myself, husband and 4young boys . We are signed up to Rightmove, we want to stay in the current area we are in as our kids are settled in school. 3 days ago a property came up on Rightmove(added that day), My sister put the property on a family group chat and said she was going to see it, straight away I said I wanted to view that property also. My sister is very unhappy I said this and didn’t think I should view it as she was. We have now both viewed the property and both want to put in offers. My sister thinks I should be stepping back and not putting an offer in as she said she liked it first? Should I be putting my sisters opinion before doing what’s right for my family? Am I a bad person for putting an offer In?

Also my sister is now stating she only wants this house and if she doesn’t get it and I do it will affect our relationship

And she is not selling IF she doesn’t get this house - Surely this is emotional blackmail

@PLNB31do you still doubt yourself? Do you feel you are in the wrong?

@MrsPworkingmummy she has said a few times she wants to move but upto this point hasn’t put her house up for sale

@Mamette I don't think it's quite the same. Do people really think if the OP buys this particular house & moves in the relationship with her sister & potentially wider family won't be damaged?

I can’t understand how anyone would think the sister would move house just ri spite the op. That’s batshit.

For me, she saw a house she loved, alerted her sister she wanted to see it because she was interested and the sister went thanks mate, I’ll have it.

That’s cf at its finest, if she’d not told you and you’d both viewed it and then found out after, it would be different, But I agree with the sister here.

It’s no different to her texting she wants something else, be it a coat, a car or a haircut and the op saying fuck you I’ll have it instead,

@Sabee I don’t feel as though I am in the wrong but I also don’t want to lose our relationship our children are extremely close.

I also feel of I allow this to happen now it will continue with other houses and other things

@Bluntness100

But the sister hasn’t even put her house on the market.

The sister KNEW OP was looking, knew that her house was on the market, and tried to sneakily try to lay claim to it!

I also feel of I allow this to happen now it will continue with other houses and other things

It doesn’t need to, but I’m fairly sure if you’d sent a house through and said you wished it, and she said fuck you I’ll have it, you’d be pissed.

I'm with @Bluntness100 I don't think it's particularly weird to post about a house you love. One of my cousins had no intentions of moving but a house she loved from childhood came up for sale. She whatsapped us all, we said it was gorgeous & she got her house on the market asap & lives there now.

The sister KNEW OP was looking, knew that her house was on the market, and tried to sneakily try to lay claim to it!

That’s batshit, there was nothing sneaky about it, she was totally open and that’s what caused the issue, and just because the op is moving doesn’t mean she can’t,

@PLNB31is there any way other people in the the family can step in and explain she is being unreasonable?

here any way other people in the the family can step in and explain she is being unreasonable?

How exactly is it unreasonable to see a house you love and decide to view and move? And to be totally open about that? Is she somehow banned from moving?

The sister KNEW OP was looking, knew that her house was on the market, and tried to sneakily try to lay claim to it!

How was it sneaky? I think that's a leap, if the sister has no intention of moving why would she prevent her sister from buying.

@PLNB31 my one brother has my parents won’t get involved

Stop talking about it with her and continue to offer - so many sales fall through. It's really about what the seller will accept.

@Bluntness100 are you her sister in disguise lol

It was sneaky as she tried to bag it. Her sister knew OP would be getting notifications!

In any case, we can agree to disagree!

@tubbatops the sister of OP hasn’t even got her house on the market yet.

I agree with Bluntness - your sister saw her dream house and posted about it to her family because presumably she was excited, and you thought “I fancy that” and steal a march on her.

If her offer is turned down you’re free to offer for it but to do so without giving her a shot at it is rotten.

I also feel of I allow this to happen now it will continue with other houses and other things

Why though? Just look at other houses, don't tell her about them or which ones you're offering on.

@Bluntness100 no she can 100% move and view anything she would like to, I would never suggest otherwise including a house I liked! I just don’t agree that she, nor I can call dibs on a house - what happens if neither of us get it? Moving forward have I got to start calling dibs?

Like I said the area we both want there are very few houses that come up for sale.

@PLNB31

Also my sister is now stating she only wants this house and if she doesn’t get it and I do it will affect our relationship

She sounds really brattish. It's unlikely her offer will be accepted unless she's proceedable anyway, so if you don't have an offer accepted it'll just be someone else.

The sister hasn’t even got her house on the market - she isn’t even proceedable.

@Sabee in terms of family dynamics do you think that will make a difference to the relationship if the OP goes ahead?

@tubbatops This is what I will do moving forward