Moral dilemma

[PLNB31]

Hi just wanted a little advise, I have my house on the market as currently (been up for around 2weeks) looking for a bigger house for myself, husband and 4young boys . We are signed up to Rightmove, we want to stay in the current area we are in as our kids are settled in school. 3 days ago a property came up on Rightmove(added that day), My sister put the property on a family group chat and said she was going to see it, straight away I said I wanted to view that property also. My sister is very unhappy I said this and didn’t think I should view it as she was. We have now both viewed the property and both want to put in offers. My sister thinks I should be stepping back and not putting an offer in as she said she liked it first? Should I be putting my sisters opinion before doing what’s right for my family? Am I a bad person for putting an offer In?

I would go for it and not mention it to your sister. See who gets it.

Could you post a message on the family group saying something like 'As you know, my property is for sale and offers have been received. As my sister and I are both hoping to move, it is likely we will express interest in the same houses. If this is the case, I in no way want this to affect our, or the wider family's, relationships. Properties rarely come up and unfortunately, competition over houses is strong.'

Well then she’s an idiot. She can’t lay claim to all houses. You’ve tried to be reasonable. Good luck with your search

So you are sitting on 2 good, proceedable offers on your own sale, haven't accepted either, yet you're busy bidding on a popular, competitive purchase. When the one thing you'd need to do to be taken seriously as a buyer, is accept one of those offers and be able to say you're SSTC.

Hmm.

So is she putting hers up for sale?

Have you put in an offer on this house?

@MrsPworkingmummy thank you, I have just done that.

@PLNB31

I’ve just realised you’ve both actually viewed (I missed that bit) and both want to put offered one.

You’re right you can’t stop her putting it in group chat, but you can say that there is no way you’re not viewing properties she shares, because chances are you’ve already seen them on Rightmove but chosen not to share to the world.

I don’t know OP. What a tough situation. I find it strange that she knows you’re on the look out for a house and have yours up for sale and now all of a sudden she stakes claim on a property and blows up with you for looking at it. Some people don’t like others doing better....

@Murmurur I haven’t accepted because I have 2 further viewings tomorrow and one on Friday. I will then take last and final offers as advised by my estate agents

She can’t lay claim to all houses

That’s a bit extreme, one house is not “all the houses” 🤣

.

I thought estate agents wouldn't let you view unless your own house was on the market?

user4676 she has viewed it so they must allow you to

Friends of ours bought a house locally and were on an information lock down they didn’t mention it to a soul until they had exchanged contracts. Family houses at a premium here and rarely come up. She is very chatty but kept shtum on this - good move

I think you’re both being really petty.

This house must be one of a kind, out of this world for you both to behave this way to one and other. I would never behave like this with a friend let alone a sibling.

I think you both need to grow up and have an adult conversation about house hunting in future and work out how it’s going to work; agree that you will both view and just buy and neither of you will be bitter if the other gets one that you like. But honestly if this was me and my sister said this I would be happy for her, it’s so childish to fight over something that isn’t even yours.

@user4676

I thought estate agents wouldn't let you view unless your own house was on the market?

Not necessarily, you might be buying a second house or be a cash buyer or be coming into money. You can view what you like and when you like, it’s not the estate agents business until it becomes a transaction.

Let her offer first. It will be rejected because she doesn't have an offer then you put in your offer. If hers is rejected she can't reasonably expect you not to offer as it's open to anyone

@Deerheart I struggle to see how I am fighting we both want the house I have suggested we both go for it.

Your sister is being a great big baby. Her offer won't be considered she isn't under offer.

Around here you can’t view unless you are a cash buyer or have your house up for sale and about to proceed with an offer.

You might have been able to view the property but your sister would have been refused.

@Oliversmumsarmy they asked when we asked for a viewing and again when we put the offer in what was our position, am guessing the they will have done the same with my sister.

You’re selling, she’s not. Her offer wouldn’t be considered as she hasn’t put her house on the market. Your offer would be. I wouldn’t back out as I don’t think sister would get it anyway. She needs to understand that she isn’t in a position to offer. Especially if houses in the area are hard to come by.

@tubbatops I don’t know whether she is now, she has had it valued yesterday

Just step back from the argument with your sister. Tell her your husband is set on the house and let him crack on with it.

@tubbatops she is saying she isn’t moving unless it’s to this house, so am guessing no?