Made wrong move out of London. Help me get it right second time...

[backtothegrindstone]

The title says it all really. We moved out of London nearly 2 years ago to Dorking in Surrey. Its a pretty nice town, but we realised fairly quickly that it just wasn't the right fit for us, and after a lot of soul searching, we've decided that we'd like to move again whilst the kids are still young enough to get over it, with the aim of finding somewhere we can call home for good. There's nothing massively wrong with Dorking, but neither of us can imagine spending the rest of our lives here. There's just too many small elements missing and when you add them all together it makes one big reason not to stay. But I'm terrified of moving again and making the same mistake again. And there are just so many places we could go that I just don't know where to start. I'm hoping people could give me some ideas for places that might be a good fit for us, so I can start looking again?

We were really happy in London as we had a good circle of friends and a nice house, but we didn't really go into central London anymore and spent more and more time in our local neighbourhood. As more and more of our friends started to move out we had less and less reasons to stay and wanted a less hectic lifestyle for our boys. Now we've left, we are fairly sure we don't want to move back to London, but the move out has made us realise that there are a few 'city' things we can't live without that we're just not finding in Dorking. I'm hoping we can find at least most of them somewhere a bit greener and cleaner than London.

So negatives about Dorking for us have been that it's just a little too 'countrysidey' for us. We don't ride horses or have a dog or go mountain biking and we don't really feel like we quite fit in here. We've found the high street just a bit lacking in nice clothes shops and restaurants (especially non-chain restaurants, ideally ones that do brunch!), and it feels like a lot of stuff has closed down even in the 2 years we've been here. We've also really struggled to find a suitable house to buy here (we're looking for a 4+ bedroom detached period house with a decent sized garden within walking distance of the mainline station).

Ideally we're looking to move to a reasonably pretty and leafy 'commuter' town within an hour commute of London (preferably from a station with a minimum of 2 trains an hour) where you don't have to drive to do everyday stuff. Essentials include a supermarket, some decent cafes for brunch and lunch, some nice family friendly pubs, a private gym with a pool nearby, maybe a few decent boutiques and some facilities for kids like parks, playgrounds etc. Oh, and decent schools are a must. Other awesome bonuses would be access to Uber, a reasonable selection of takeaways, some decent bars/pubs and maybe a cinema.

Our house budget is reasonably health, and we're happy to go back within the M25 as long as it still feels green and leafy.

Am I asking the impossible?

Might we all be neighbours in the future? :)

OP, you might occasionally get plane noise in Cheam. Once or twice a month in the morning. It's pretty random. I think the dolls were there during the viewing ;)

We're definitely up for moving to Cheam if the right house comes up. It's just a bit of a waiting game. We've also seen this house:

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-72255517.html

The location is very good and a lovely road but we'd want to spend way too much to re-do the place. And not sure how much the hideous facade could be improved...

I like that one! The facade is fine, it just needs new windows. Beautiful timber windows (or R9) and a new double timber garage door would make all the difference. This is what I do for a living! I actually think this one is much prettier than the other one, but those windows are dreadful.

If we all end up neighbours we definitely need a meet up!

@backtothegrindstone @goldpendant

The other school that is an option is greenshaw near st Helier. It reserves 60 places for those that pass first stage of 11+ so its a good back up option. Distance catchment is under 1 mile but 11+ places go on pass rate I think.

This Cheam thing is fascinating! My first boyfriend lived there and it had virtually nothing going for it back then (90s). Just rows of post-war suburban houses with nothing else there. Always felt weirdly desolate to me. Sounds like it’s come up in the world!

@Closetlibrarian sounds like North Cheam. Cheam Village is lovely with historic buildings, green spaces and nice shops.

Yes @Closetlibrarian north Cheam is pretty dismal. But Cheam village is lovely- big detached houses, lots of trees, historic building and so much green space. Nonsuch park is like a mini Richmond!

I'm just browsing, I find these middle class threads fascinating! 🧐

Not really sure what to make of that comment @JQBased

@backtothegrindstone wow firstly well done for being so proactive and positive in making your situation better. It’s brave to admit to yourself and others you made a slight ‘wrong turn’ but tbh you never know what it’s like to actually live somewhere until you actually do. People can comment, advise, recommend but you know what’s right for YOU so it has to just have that magic X factor. I read your post and all the responses last night and was just like this is exactly me. I want exactly what you want, and I don’t think you’re asking a lot or that it’s impossible, why should you not at least try and get the perfect place!? Sorry this post is quite long!! So I’ve actually recently done the move and I didn’t do nearly as much research as you, going to all the places etc, that’s so wise avd maybe we should have done more looking back but who has time, especially with three young kids! However, we settled on Sevenoaks and although I miss London and my bubble there I think it’s as close to ticking all the boxes as possible. I wanted: pretty high street, nice shops, coffee shops, boutiques, pubs, good schools, gym, good commute etc etc and it pretty much has everything. It’s smaller than TW or Guildford which we also considered but like you, they both felt too big/cityish and the great thing about here is that TW is a 20min drive or 15mins on train. Commute is obviously great, serving three London stations (perfect for different parts of London) and for that extra buzz Charing Cross is essentially Covent Garden in 30 mins. Nice coffe places, feels a little quiet during the week (but comparing to London) but lots of mums around. Beautiful countryside on doorstep, loads of nat trust, Westerham is looooovely, lots of pubs everywhere, feels like everyone is from London giving a good vibe. We had your budget and are 10min walk from station and 20min walk (yes up that hill) to town (you get used to it). Kids aren’t school age yet but I know they are fab round here plus grammars down road so best education free! I know you may have made up your mind but I think it would work for you as you seem very similar to me. Please ask anything you like! You deserve your perfect home so why not do everything you can to get it!!!xx

Marlow?

Beaconsfield sounds dreadful - nearly moved there, so glad we didn't.

Yep, Hitchin

Hey @backtothegrindstone, how are you getting on with your search?

This might be a bit too close to where you use to live but have you considered Beckenham? We live here at the moment and love it, it's close to London but falls under Kent, has lots of good brunch places, a cinema, David Lloyd and The Spa Beckenham (not actually a spa hahaha) for the gym, it may not be far enough into the countryside though but has some amazing parks. We live quite close to Kelsey Park which I love and also Beckenham Place Park has just had an outdoor swimming lake restored, I do a lot of running and the parks around here are great for that.

I just wish I had your budget as we're currently looking to buy our first house and we're debating whether to stay in Beckenham or move further out so we could get something bigger and we have looked at a few of the places recommended on here.

I just had a quick look on RightMove and you should be able to get a detached house in Beckenham with your budget.

We've also looked at Hitchin, Berkhamsted, Reigate, Farnham, Billericay, St Albans, etc.

Hi everyone. Thanks for the continued suggestions and hopefully they will help others with their search- certainly looks like lots of people have the same problem! We haven't moved yet as we need to get our house finished first but I think we're pretty settled on the idea of moving to South Cheam. It ticks all our boxes and is near our friends which is a big bonus. Hopefully it'll work out- we still have the mega hurdle of finding houses and school places ahead!

I think school places shouldn’t be too much of a problem as all schools in South (and North) Cheam are fab so there should be spaces in one excellent school or another. As a side note, Cuddington Croft is in South Cheam but comes under Surrey rather than Sutton so easy to overlook when you’re looking for spaces. OP, I think you mentioned going independent for senior school? You should have a choice of 15+ different ones from there.

@backtothegrindstone did you move eventually? I know this is an old post but I have a very similar situation + similar thoughts about the "city" aspects I want in a town... plus need for good secondary school... I don't want kids travelling more than 40 minutes door to door by public transport. Preferably comp but a good private is possible by shaving off the house budget. Or do I look at schools first??

I feel places like surbiton/kingston means sacrificing the big detatched house and garden. And as you move out to Kent or Surrey side it gets too (for me) bland commuter town / drive everywhere type place... although i sense we'll end up in one of those as a compromise.

I have no experience of Canterbury Brighton Winchester Oxford or Cambridge, they sound attractive but not keen on long commute, unless one of us can find a local job. DH hates Guildford for some reason he doesnt want to tell me.