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Made wrong move out of London. Help me get it right second time...

490 replies

backtothegrindstone · 17/05/2019 17:31

The title says it all really. We moved out of London nearly 2 years ago to Dorking in Surrey. Its a pretty nice town, but we realised fairly quickly that it just wasn't the right fit for us, and after a lot of soul searching, we've decided that we'd like to move again whilst the kids are still young enough to get over it, with the aim of finding somewhere we can call home for good. There's nothing massively wrong with Dorking, but neither of us can imagine spending the rest of our lives here. There's just too many small elements missing and when you add them all together it makes one big reason not to stay. But I'm terrified of moving again and making the same mistake again. And there are just so many places we could go that I just don't know where to start. I'm hoping people could give me some ideas for places that might be a good fit for us, so I can start looking again?

We were really happy in London as we had a good circle of friends and a nice house, but we didn't really go into central London anymore and spent more and more time in our local neighbourhood. As more and more of our friends started to move out we had less and less reasons to stay and wanted a less hectic lifestyle for our boys. Now we've left, we are fairly sure we don't want to move back to London, but the move out has made us realise that there are a few 'city' things we can't live without that we're just not finding in Dorking. I'm hoping we can find at least most of them somewhere a bit greener and cleaner than London.

So negatives about Dorking for us have been that it's just a little too 'countrysidey' for us. We don't ride horses or have a dog or go mountain biking and we don't really feel like we quite fit in here. We've found the high street just a bit lacking in nice clothes shops and restaurants (especially non-chain restaurants, ideally ones that do brunch!), and it feels like a lot of stuff has closed down even in the 2 years we've been here. We've also really struggled to find a suitable house to buy here (we're looking for a 4+ bedroom detached period house with a decent sized garden within walking distance of the mainline station).

Ideally we're looking to move to a reasonably pretty and leafy 'commuter' town within an hour commute of London (preferably from a station with a minimum of 2 trains an hour) where you don't have to drive to do everyday stuff. Essentials include a supermarket, some decent cafes for brunch and lunch, some nice family friendly pubs, a private gym with a pool nearby, maybe a few decent boutiques and some facilities for kids like parks, playgrounds etc. Oh, and decent schools are a must. Other awesome bonuses would be access to Uber, a reasonable selection of takeaways, some decent bars/pubs and maybe a cinema.

Our house budget is reasonably health, and we're happy to go back within the M25 as long as it still feels green and leafy.

Am I asking the impossible?

OP posts:
backtothegrindstone · 17/05/2019 18:16

@icelandicyoghurt budget about £1.2m. Doesn't matter which station we come into. Just need to get to London.

OP posts:
Toooldtobearsed2 · 17/05/2019 18:18

How about Brighton/Hove?

I am up north, but son is in Brighton and it encompasses everything you are looking for (I think).

I am a country girl through and through, but have to say, if I ever went 'townie', it would be Brighton 😊

PlausibleSuit · 17/05/2019 18:23

I think if you don't like Dorking I know Dorking and I know exactly what you mean you may find that you don't warm to any of the other naice commuter places like Reigate or Guildford or St Albans or anywhere else. OH and I did this dance a few years ago and the truth is, these towns are all basically the same.

You could move back to a more outlying part of London, as PPs suggested. Friend of mine lives in a lovely part of South Croydon and has it all ways; 10 min walk + 15 minute train ride into Victoria, and they're close to countryside the other way. Massive house, too.

Or, try another city. If you're tied to London and want an hour (ish) commute that means Cambridge, Oxford, Cheltenham, Canterbury, Winchester or Brighton.

I lived in Cambridge and found it a bit provincial and twee but to be fair lots of people love it. (I like a reasonable amount of grit in my oyster.) The trains take an hour into KGX, or about an hour and 10 minutes into Liverpool Street -- and it's two different train companies so if one line goes up the spout you can usually get on the other.

Brighton is much more my speed personally because it's got a bit more funk and grit to it than Cambridge. This might not be what you want! But it's the most city-ish of the cities close to London, if that makes sense. Similar situation to Cambridge re trains -- an hour (ish) into Victoria, or about 90 minutes into London Bridge, Blackfriars or St Pancras. Brighton also has brunch nailed. Tons of places.

Brighton's got Uber, but none of the other cities mentioned above have.

dreichuplands · 17/05/2019 18:23

I would look at St Albans.
I think it has most of what you are looking for.

stanski · 17/05/2019 18:23

@backtothegrindstone I work in Surbiton and it's lovely! Green, everything is on your doorstep. Easy to get into London but also very nice to get to the Kingston riverside etc very good schools and nice people. Many big houses within your budget

peachgreen · 17/05/2019 18:24

I adored living in Surbiton and if I had £1.2m I'd be back there in a heartbeat. Or Teddington. So envious OP, what lovely choices you have. I hope you're really happy wherever you end up.

stanski · 17/05/2019 18:24

Richmond / Kew are gorgeous too.

ELM8 · 17/05/2019 18:26

Winchester ticks all those boxes...

NameChangedNoImagination · 17/05/2019 18:26

Marlow.

BummyKnocker · 17/05/2019 18:28

Epsom?

AnnPerkins · 17/05/2019 18:29

The movement of people from London to Hitchin has really changed the town in recent years - it’s turning into a little St Albans.

I’m not sure it has everything you’re looking for but your budget would get you a lovely 4-bed in the Avenue/Benslow Lane area which is perfect for the station and boys and girls schools.

LurksNoLonger · 17/05/2019 18:33

Definitely Canterbury. We love it. Now living in Folkestone which we adore (plenty of great independent restaurants and loads to do for a young family) , but the high street is tiny (though several lovely individual shops) so maybe not for you. Though our selection of bars, parks and playgrounds is brilliant and we have a fab old style cinema (and an outdoor one in the harbour all summer), so perhaps worth investigating. Your budget would get you something to die for too. We got a half an acre and plenty of room for the kids for much less than that...Primary schools can be a bit hit and miss (Folkestone not Canterbury), though the grammars are excellent (and Canterbury has indies too). All in all though Canterbury would tick all of your boxes and probably offer even a bit more 😁😁

Barbarafromblackpool · 17/05/2019 18:33

I'm envious, I'd like to live in Dulwich!
I know Weybridge pretty well; I don't think it's what you're looking for.
East Molesey?
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-81378239.html

Dollywilde · 17/05/2019 18:34

With £1.2m you could get a nicely done 4 bed terrace walking distance to Wimbledon Village, although I don’t know if that’s too London for you?

Dollywilde · 17/05/2019 18:35

Failing that I’d probably pick Kingston over Surbiton. Do you need schools?

TheRedBarrows · 17/05/2019 18:35

Move straight back to E Dulwich Grin

Hampton Wick?

Long commutes every day: why?

Dollywilde · 17/05/2019 18:36

Sorry, ignore me, completely missed ‘decent schools are a must’!

horizontalis · 17/05/2019 18:37

Lots of people like Hitchin

Lots of people don't Grin
It has a Waitrose and an M&S food hall though but bugger all else

Dollywilde · 17/05/2019 18:39

I’d buy this in a heartbeat with your budget:

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-81563732.html

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 17/05/2019 18:39

I wouldn't move to Kew or Richmond, the plane noise is appalling.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 17/05/2019 18:44

Sorry to be an old misery guts op but I just don't think what you're looking for actually exists and this is why so many of us cling to London or just around the edges.

I live in one of the London places mentioned on this thread and if I really had to move I'd go to Teddington or Windsor at a push.

Dramalady52 · 17/05/2019 18:46

Chelmsford definitely, loads of good schools, 35 mins commute to Liverpool Street, trains about every twenty mins. Wish I'd never left, I loved it there.4

noodlenosefraggle · 17/05/2019 18:48

Oh yes, Teddington is lovely.

Thecazelets · 17/05/2019 18:56

Teddington, Kingston or Surbiton definitely. Kingston has lots of lovely detached Victorian villas in your price range.

tinabloodysparkle · 17/05/2019 19:04

Go visit Berkhamsted and St Albans both have fast trains into London.

They have decent clothes and non-chain restaurants, houses are pretty/close to London prices.

If you want to be on the tube, look at Totteridge. Zone 4 tube, lots of restaurants at Whetstone. No clothes but 15 mins from Brent Cross or Watford.