Made wrong move out of London. Help me get it right second time...

[backtothegrindstone]

The title says it all really. We moved out of London nearly 2 years ago to Dorking in Surrey. Its a pretty nice town, but we realised fairly quickly that it just wasn't the right fit for us, and after a lot of soul searching, we've decided that we'd like to move again whilst the kids are still young enough to get over it, with the aim of finding somewhere we can call home for good. There's nothing massively wrong with Dorking, but neither of us can imagine spending the rest of our lives here. There's just too many small elements missing and when you add them all together it makes one big reason not to stay. But I'm terrified of moving again and making the same mistake again. And there are just so many places we could go that I just don't know where to start. I'm hoping people could give me some ideas for places that might be a good fit for us, so I can start looking again?

We were really happy in London as we had a good circle of friends and a nice house, but we didn't really go into central London anymore and spent more and more time in our local neighbourhood. As more and more of our friends started to move out we had less and less reasons to stay and wanted a less hectic lifestyle for our boys. Now we've left, we are fairly sure we don't want to move back to London, but the move out has made us realise that there are a few 'city' things we can't live without that we're just not finding in Dorking. I'm hoping we can find at least most of them somewhere a bit greener and cleaner than London.

So negatives about Dorking for us have been that it's just a little too 'countrysidey' for us. We don't ride horses or have a dog or go mountain biking and we don't really feel like we quite fit in here. We've found the high street just a bit lacking in nice clothes shops and restaurants (especially non-chain restaurants, ideally ones that do brunch!), and it feels like a lot of stuff has closed down even in the 2 years we've been here. We've also really struggled to find a suitable house to buy here (we're looking for a 4+ bedroom detached period house with a decent sized garden within walking distance of the mainline station).

Ideally we're looking to move to a reasonably pretty and leafy 'commuter' town within an hour commute of London (preferably from a station with a minimum of 2 trains an hour) where you don't have to drive to do everyday stuff. Essentials include a supermarket, some decent cafes for brunch and lunch, some nice family friendly pubs, a private gym with a pool nearby, maybe a few decent boutiques and some facilities for kids like parks, playgrounds etc. Oh, and decent schools are a must. Other awesome bonuses would be access to Uber, a reasonable selection of takeaways, some decent bars/pubs and maybe a cinema.

Our house budget is reasonably health, and we're happy to go back within the M25 as long as it still feels green and leafy.

Am I asking the impossible?

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-65798926.html

*Waves back to TheWayOfTheWorld!
*
Wow, that's one pink living room! Lovely house though.

And I'm definitely heading to the Pudding Stop once boot camp is over - but at least we can still have cheese and (a bit of) wine at Bishop's Cave till then!*
*

If you want more town than city, beautiful open spaces, relatively fast commute (under the hour) and fab places to dine out then you would have a stack of change leftover from a period family home in Folkestone. This is in a really good spot with bags of scope for updating and/or extending...www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-79586132.html

Sadly wouldn't work for us @LurksNoLonger as we need to be able to drive round the m25 regularly for work. I think m25 area really only places that would work.

OP, I know you aren't a fan of suburbia but have you been to Cheam? It is in suburbia but does have independent cafes and restaurants and shops, some historic buildings etc. Obviously very convenient for London but also only 15mins from the M25 for getting out of London. You'd comfortably get the house and plot you're after.

@girlfromsurrey - You must be new to Claygate. You haven't yet had the memo that you're not supposed to tell people on the internet how nice Claygate is...

I haven't been to Cheam @JoJoSM2 but went to Banstead and Ewell the other day. Quite warming to the edges of Epsom too. Will check out Cheam. Have a good friend in Stoneleigh (which I'm not mad about to be honest) so being near them would be nice. Remember someone I know moving there tears ago and telling me he couldn't get a takeaway though. Has this changed? I really liked Claygate @CardinalSin @girlfromsurrey just slightly worried it might be a bit titchy for us- too much culture shock perhaps! And seemed a lot of old people around when I visited. Tell me more about the people there please!!

Cheam high street (the village bit not North Cheam) is probably similar in size to Bansted but I prefer the selection of shops and cafes in Cheam + it definitely some character (due to historic buildings). It also has really parks on your doorstep (+ close to the countryside), a David Lloyd gym, cricket and tennis clubs etc. I'm not big on takeaways but imagine it should be easy enough or there's a Cook if you don't mind microwaving. It could be also good school-wise for DC. Avenue and Cuddington Croft are very good schools with nice grounds and own swimming pools. I reckon it's probably the nicest you'll find in suburbia.

*Missed a few words in my post but hope it's coherent enough ;)

Royston, Herts?

Esher

Has anyone suggested Beaconsfield yet? V close to M25 and M40 and 29 mins to Marylebone on train. Driving into west end takes 35 mins with no traffic! Just feels very central, you can access M1, M40 and M4 corridors quickly. David Lloyd's there too.

And you've got the grammar schools in Bucks

There's a huge travellers site in Claygate. It really put us off.

I shouldn't talk about Claygate (!) but, yes, it's a village, if a large one. If you want to do a supermarket shop you'll have to go to Esher or Surbiton, or up the A3. All are only a few minutes by car.

The Parade has a good selection on non-chain shops. The butcher is pretty good, and the fish shop is excellent. The Coop stocks most of what you need for day to day and is open 'til 10pm every day. 2 trains an hour (weekdays) to London and Guildford, taking just over half an hour.

There are some old people living there, strangely enough! But there are also plenty of families. It seems to have a fairly good balance, and a great community spirit. There are plenty of clubs and things for the kids.

There is a traveller site, but it's right up by the A3, not really in Claygate as such. We did have a traveller problem last summer, but as the Rec is technically not publicly owned we were able to move them on quickly. They made rather a nuisance of themselves in several other towns in the area too.

There are plenty of woods and things nearby, and you can drive to Surbiton in 10 minutes, or get the bus in 15, with another 5-10 minutes to Kingston.

There's a handful of decent pubs, generally serving food at varying levels of overpricedness, and a couple of restaurants which I'm not really going to recommend (although I could recommend a couple in Surbiton!).

I guess it comes down to what you want. It's definitely not urban, but it's not sleepy countryside either. It has good facilities, and it close to practically anything else you might need.

Enjoying this thread. Dorking is really too boring, OP, it's the place to be if you love the country as it's amazing around it but there is a dready feel to the 'town' bit. I'm not a fan of Surrey for all the reasons posters already mentioned. I think Herts is more...liberal (civilised yet neutral?) or something.
AnnaNimmity I'm curious what didn't you like about Brighton? seems like many ex-Londoners (and ex-surrey) love it there, and he prices have gone mad accordingly.
You say you need people, bars, roads, parks, restaurants. Busyness probably - Brighton is so busy - at least when I visited.

when I say ex-surrey (regarding Brighton), I mean the more down-to-earth bits of Surrey like Sutton etc. Many of the snobby Surrey would be SO snooty about Brighton's dress codeincluding total absence of ties!

CatAndHisKit

I live in Sutton (London borough, by the way) and wouldn't move to Brighton in a million years. It's definitely creative and vibrant and we go art hunting there sometimes but it's also really dirty and run down in places (a lot of places).

@JoJoSM2, we went to Cheam village yesterday. We really liked it, though the houses available there are maybe a bit boring - still, all big houses and mostly detached and great transport available. My first worry was 'its a bit close to Sutton' though, but I'm not sure why! Is Sutton ok? I had this idea in the back of my mind that its a bit Croydon'y? We also drove round Epsom. First impression was that the houses are gorgeous, especially in the College area, but I really hate the town centre. I know people seem to love it there but it really did nothing for me to be honest. Just felt like a big main road with lots of pound shops.

@CatAndHisKit I do love the country being on the doorstep in Dorking. If only the town was a bit more vibrant too it'd be perfect. I also really don't like Brighton if I'm honest. We have family there so we go quite often and every time I go I just think it just feels like Camden on sea. Too many hippies for my taste!

It still sounds like to me, your period house with off street parking and a garden in leafy zone 3 SW London would have been the best place for you to stay 😂

What BlueSkies said! 😂

Yes, the large houses in Cheam won’t be Victorian but some pretty characterful ‘Burton-built’ 20’s properties do come up.

With regards to Sutton, there seem to be some misconceptions/perceptions as I just found out this week on an AIBU thread and it honestly surprised me. I live in South Sutton (similar housing to South Cheam + some massive Edwardian properties too).

Sutton has got the highest attaining secondary schools in England and is top 3 for primaries. It’s also super safe (second lowest crime rate in Greater London). It’s all very family orientated. There is even a 7 acre community farm and you can get your weekly organic veg box delivered.

The only manky thing about Sutton is the high street. There are disproportionate numbers of pound, vape and used phone shops + nail bars etc so it attracts Vicky Pollard types (and male equivalents) from far and wide. Having said that, everyone is perfectly polite and I’ve never seen any loud/unpleasant behaviour (and I’m there quite often).

On the plus side, the high street is pedestrianised with ample parking and a good range of useful shops (supermarkets, TK Maxx, giant Boots etc) and there’s a designer department store opening soon (a definite suprise). There are quite a few independent cafes and restaurants too although the overall first impressions are pretty awful (due to the pound and vape shops etc). Admittedly, when DH and I go shopping for ourselves, we tend to head to either Kingston or Regent Street.

The town centre also has a giant library, a theatre, a refurbished cinema with sofas etc.

One upside of Cheam being just about within the bounds of Greater London is that you can get a £10 mini cab from the tube if you stay out late in London. Equally, we drove out to just outside Dorking for lunch yesterday and that didn’t take long either (DH is a mountain biker and grew up on a farm and dreams of living in Dorking but South Sutton/Cheam is as far out as I’m comfortable).

I’m not sure a small town, with quick rail links to London, vibrant cafe culture, close to countryside and as well as London, but still affordable, actually exists! I suspect you are going to have to make some kind of compromise somewhere, be it upping budget, smaller property, longer commute etc
I know you’ve ruled out Reigate but I’d say that sounded like the kind of size and vibrancy you were looking for.

If you’re interested in compromising both Ripley and Cranleigh are vibrant small towns/large villages with close access to bigger amenities in Guildford but you would need to drive to a station.

There is also a (very) small chance Cranleigh station could reopen some day which means property prices would shoot up.