Made wrong move out of London. Help me get it right second time...

[backtothegrindstone]

The title says it all really. We moved out of London nearly 2 years ago to Dorking in Surrey. Its a pretty nice town, but we realised fairly quickly that it just wasn't the right fit for us, and after a lot of soul searching, we've decided that we'd like to move again whilst the kids are still young enough to get over it, with the aim of finding somewhere we can call home for good. There's nothing massively wrong with Dorking, but neither of us can imagine spending the rest of our lives here. There's just too many small elements missing and when you add them all together it makes one big reason not to stay. But I'm terrified of moving again and making the same mistake again. And there are just so many places we could go that I just don't know where to start. I'm hoping people could give me some ideas for places that might be a good fit for us, so I can start looking again?

We were really happy in London as we had a good circle of friends and a nice house, but we didn't really go into central London anymore and spent more and more time in our local neighbourhood. As more and more of our friends started to move out we had less and less reasons to stay and wanted a less hectic lifestyle for our boys. Now we've left, we are fairly sure we don't want to move back to London, but the move out has made us realise that there are a few 'city' things we can't live without that we're just not finding in Dorking. I'm hoping we can find at least most of them somewhere a bit greener and cleaner than London.

So negatives about Dorking for us have been that it's just a little too 'countrysidey' for us. We don't ride horses or have a dog or go mountain biking and we don't really feel like we quite fit in here. We've found the high street just a bit lacking in nice clothes shops and restaurants (especially non-chain restaurants, ideally ones that do brunch!), and it feels like a lot of stuff has closed down even in the 2 years we've been here. We've also really struggled to find a suitable house to buy here (we're looking for a 4+ bedroom detached period house with a decent sized garden within walking distance of the mainline station).

Ideally we're looking to move to a reasonably pretty and leafy 'commuter' town within an hour commute of London (preferably from a station with a minimum of 2 trains an hour) where you don't have to drive to do everyday stuff. Essentials include a supermarket, some decent cafes for brunch and lunch, some nice family friendly pubs, a private gym with a pool nearby, maybe a few decent boutiques and some facilities for kids like parks, playgrounds etc. Oh, and decent schools are a must. Other awesome bonuses would be access to Uber, a reasonable selection of takeaways, some decent bars/pubs and maybe a cinema.

Our house budget is reasonably health, and we're happy to go back within the M25 as long as it still feels green and leafy.

Am I asking the impossible?

goldpendant, are you looking?

Not yet.... I think by high school time we will look to move (4-5 yrs from now). Presumably Sutton grammar is an option from Cheam?

I think so. Though there's Cheam high school too which is outstanding. Where are you now?

Between Kingston and Surbiton. Loads of primary choice but secondary not so good. Doubt we can afford private, and tiffin schools are just hugely competitive- not that Sutton grammar wouldn't be. Dreading the high school stuff 🤦🏼‍♀️

Grammar is a nice option but good to have the backup of a decent comp nearby too.

Goldpendant, the Sutton grammars are super selective so not sure if any easier to get into than Tiffin as thousands and thousands of pupils sit the exams. Your children can have a go even if you're in a different borough. Even if you stay put, the X26 goes from Kingston to Nonsuch, Sutton Grammar and Wallington County. Wallington Girls' or Wilson's would be harder to get to.

As far as Cheam is concerned there's the great option of Cheam High (mixed comp).

As far as living in Cheam goes, you've seen the high street. There are tennis, cricket and rugby clubs, David Lloyd, great parks (cafes, Park Run, British Military Fitness etc) + Warrens Farm (a Woodland Trust area) and it's all literally within 3-5 mins walk of each other and the station. Countryside is very close and you could have a family cycle to see a field with sheep, lavender fields or visit a farm shop. There's also a Forest school that does holiday clubs for 4-11 yo. So generally a pretty amazing location for sporty/outdoorsy types. The library and public leisure centre are also not too far.

The station is in zone 5 and the trains go into Victoria and London Bridge. If you live ever so slightly towards Sutton (still within walking distance of all the Cheam amenities), then you can also walk to Sutton in under 15 mins to catch the Thameslink (direct to Blackfriars, City Thameslink, King's Cross and beyond).

Cheam is also relatively affordable and there are plenty of large detached as well as smaller houses that are super convenient for everywhere. If you're after a Victorian property, there are a few smaller ones and very few larger ones in Cheam and some stunning large ones (mostly semis) more towards Sutton (Landseer Conservation Area).

Goldpendant, do you know much about amenities in Thames Ditton? We're looking to move to Cheam (currently 1-2 miles away) but would also be open to somewhere on the river if big houses (3000sq ft+) with big gardens are available. I can see on Rightmove that TD has those but do you know about getting around there, amenities and independent schools?

From visiting a few times now I'd say TD is very small. It only has a tiny budgens and a few boutiques and cafes so all the amenities would be in Kingston- not far away though.

Hm... DH has just had a look at stuff and decided that the commute makes TD a non-starter. We've also just had a look within walking distance to Surbiton Station but it seems that there aren't even any parks that side of the river so not right for our lifestyle :(

I don't know TD too well but it is very tiny, cute, but tiny.

JoJo, north kingston? Why are you moving?!

Yes, its rather different - I guess you use the riverside as a park to some degree and there is a huge park along the river in East Molesey but not really that useful having bushy park nearby if you can't get to it. Its a long way between bridges! The trains are definitely worse and there are no gyms either. The nearest 'parky' area with good trains is either Walton on Thames, or Esher/Claygate I think. Cheam has so much going for it, other than lacking the river.

I know! If only Cheam on the Thames existed! I'd be in that rowing boat at 6.30am sharpish

Goldpendant, we're currently in South Sutton and it's been working for us well. However, we had DS last year and I won't be going back to work. So now Cheam will be a better fit. DS will be able to go to stuff and as as a SAHM, I'd like to have nice coffee, lunch and fitness options on my dorrstep. DH will take one for the team as his commute will be a bit worse (currently takes the Thameslink from Sutton, always gets a seat and his office is a 5 min walk at the other end).

North Kingston is nice too but another thing that's important to us is being able to get out to the countryside and the beach quickly and NK is a bit more into London.

It's so annoying that there are always compromises to be made!

OP, is Thames Ditton quite quiet? Perhaps it'd be a good one for a relaxing stroll along the river some time?

Yes, OP, nothing villagey about Teddington - it's a busy naice-ish suburb, over-populated - would not have a close community that you want, I think.
That's what I meant about Sutton as opposed to much of typical Surrey or Teddington (not srtictly surrey but similar tastes) - it's more real / a little gritty - so yes, Cheam is kind of inbetween as you say, and sounds like it's right for you - I'm inpressed by your intensive search - so many places in a couple of days, and close to a decision!

OP, I drove to TD today and it's cute as a button! And feels a million miles away from London.

Brighton

So sweet isn't it @JoJoSM2!

We I don’t live in the area OP, or even England to be fair, but my brother, sil and kids used to live in Claygate, followed by Thames Ditton before they moved back to Scotland.

I visited when they were in Claygate and absolutely loved the place, could hardly believe how quickly you can get into London from somewhere so village like. I remember the primary school my niece attended being lovely. I’d happily live there, but sadly don’t have the budget. Hope you find your perfect place soon

OP, please could you visit this house for us all?

SOUTH CHEAM
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-82191068.html

Goldpendant, have you been browsing Rightmove?

I've been round that house. It's absolutely amazing. The pictures don't even do it 10% justice. It's very grand and has a lot of original features. The deal breaker for us was the fact you can hear he hum of Belmont Rise (the busy road not too far away). As it's all detached houses round there, the sound just travels :(

It's beautiful but the kitchen is way too small/corridorish for the size of the house.

The kitchen and the bathrooms were neutral but pretty dated and basic but the feel of the place was just wow...

OP, have you been round different roads in TD? Any extra favourite places?

I noticed the bathrooms too. I think it's quite expensive for a house that you'd still need to reconfigure. It also might be a bit big too- I've realised that, whilst it seems appealing, excessive space is a bit overrated- our current house is a similar size to that one and we've discovered we can't be in three living rooms at the same time! I get so bored trying to keep it tidy too. I think we'll arranged space is far more important.

Re TD, we're not looking at actual houses yet as we can't move till next year, so we're really just getting the feel of areas at the moment. We noticed a lot of aircraft noise when in TD at the weekend which may be a mark against it. And I'll be honest, Cheam just seems to have more going for it for us. Bigger houses for less money, nicer parks and better local amenities really. TD is so pretty but lack of supermarket and infrequent trains are putting me off. Are you keen @JoJoSM2?

Well arranged I mean!

I really only wanted some feedback on whether the doll sits on the rocking horse for viewings too

But totally agree that it is possibly too big. We've got big rooms over four floors and while the storage and room sizes are lovely it's a bloody nightmare to keep tidy. Oh for some "lateral space"!

Ha ha, hadn't noticed the doll. God, looks like an evil baby! They have an awful lot of dolls houses too!