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Made wrong move out of London. Help me get it right second time...

490 replies

backtothegrindstone · 17/05/2019 17:31

The title says it all really. We moved out of London nearly 2 years ago to Dorking in Surrey. Its a pretty nice town, but we realised fairly quickly that it just wasn't the right fit for us, and after a lot of soul searching, we've decided that we'd like to move again whilst the kids are still young enough to get over it, with the aim of finding somewhere we can call home for good. There's nothing massively wrong with Dorking, but neither of us can imagine spending the rest of our lives here. There's just too many small elements missing and when you add them all together it makes one big reason not to stay. But I'm terrified of moving again and making the same mistake again. And there are just so many places we could go that I just don't know where to start. I'm hoping people could give me some ideas for places that might be a good fit for us, so I can start looking again?

We were really happy in London as we had a good circle of friends and a nice house, but we didn't really go into central London anymore and spent more and more time in our local neighbourhood. As more and more of our friends started to move out we had less and less reasons to stay and wanted a less hectic lifestyle for our boys. Now we've left, we are fairly sure we don't want to move back to London, but the move out has made us realise that there are a few 'city' things we can't live without that we're just not finding in Dorking. I'm hoping we can find at least most of them somewhere a bit greener and cleaner than London.

So negatives about Dorking for us have been that it's just a little too 'countrysidey' for us. We don't ride horses or have a dog or go mountain biking and we don't really feel like we quite fit in here. We've found the high street just a bit lacking in nice clothes shops and restaurants (especially non-chain restaurants, ideally ones that do brunch!), and it feels like a lot of stuff has closed down even in the 2 years we've been here. We've also really struggled to find a suitable house to buy here (we're looking for a 4+ bedroom detached period house with a decent sized garden within walking distance of the mainline station).

Ideally we're looking to move to a reasonably pretty and leafy 'commuter' town within an hour commute of London (preferably from a station with a minimum of 2 trains an hour) where you don't have to drive to do everyday stuff. Essentials include a supermarket, some decent cafes for brunch and lunch, some nice family friendly pubs, a private gym with a pool nearby, maybe a few decent boutiques and some facilities for kids like parks, playgrounds etc. Oh, and decent schools are a must. Other awesome bonuses would be access to Uber, a reasonable selection of takeaways, some decent bars/pubs and maybe a cinema.

Our house budget is reasonably health, and we're happy to go back within the M25 as long as it still feels green and leafy.

Am I asking the impossible?

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Chartreuser · 17/05/2019 17:33

East Grinstead? Canterbury (not sure if it's quite an hour?) Sevenoaks? I would say Reigate but if Dorking is no good I'm not sure it would be any better? What London station or train company?

Oxted is lovely too but I guess again not enough?

TiddleTaddleTat · 17/05/2019 17:39

Alternative idea - move to another city entirely ? Manchester / Leeds / Birmingham etc.

Babes222 · 17/05/2019 17:43

Weybridge or Cobham are beautiful!!

noodlenosefraggle · 17/05/2019 17:47

I haven't lived in Guildford for about 20 years, but I really loved it when I lived there! Also Canterbury

DameSylvieKrin · 17/05/2019 17:50

I think you like cities, you just had enough of London. What about Brighton or Cambridge?

LaurieFairyCake · 17/05/2019 17:51

Berkhamsted

Or St Albans

Not Harpenden (more boring than Dorking)

backtothegrindstone · 17/05/2019 17:51

Thanks for so many replies so quickly! We are tied to London for work (we can't move our jobs elsewhere), so other cities probably not going to work, but specifically which London station doesn't matter too much as our jobs are very central anyway.

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Barbarafromblackpool · 17/05/2019 17:54

Can you try the 'burbs' of London? Somewhere like South Woodford or maybe a bit closer in like Dulwich?

Or yes, St Albans.

Amibeingdaft81 · 17/05/2019 17:54

Budget?
Any family ties?

Kahlua4me · 17/05/2019 17:56

Guildford and Farnham are good and quite big.

Wokingham is nice too. It’s smaller but currently going through a big redevelopment and easy to get to Reading for shopping. Schools are good too.

2cats2many · 17/05/2019 17:57

Have you looked at farnham? That has a lovely town centre and isn't too far from Guildford.

Solina · 17/05/2019 17:58

I read this and thought of Winchester?

Leafyhouse · 17/05/2019 17:59

Richmond maybe? Or rather Teddington / Hampton / Kew? A suburb of London that gives you the benefits of an Oyster card, but still that country feel.

Napssavelives · 17/05/2019 17:59

St Albans is lovely

DramaRamaLlama · 17/05/2019 18:03

Weybridge, Guildford and Farnham are nice and tick more of your boxes than Dorking.

In terms of budget you'll get less for your money in Weybridge and Guildford than you did in Dorking but Farnham is fairly comparable. You'll pay £1.5 ish for 4 bed period within a couple of miles of town.

IcelandicYoghurt · 17/05/2019 18:05

Definitely need to know budget and also where you're commuting to.

Wanstead is very nice and great if the central line works for you but £££.

Lots of people like Hitchin.

Witchonastick · 17/05/2019 18:08

Cambridge or Brighton spring to mind.

nuttyfruitcake · 17/05/2019 18:10

There's not much in Weybridge though, not compared to Farnham or Guildford. I'm not sure how close you'd want to live to Guildford station.

Guildford prob has more to offer but Farnham is nice.

flissfloss65 · 17/05/2019 18:11

We moved from London to central Canterbury and lived it. Train from Canterbury West is 54 minutes to St Pancras.

House prices are reasonable.

frogsoup · 17/05/2019 18:12

Cambridge ticks a lot of your boxes.

VioletCharlotte · 17/05/2019 18:12

Winchester, Reading, Basingstoke, Farnham?

ThisIsTheEndgame · 17/05/2019 18:12

Chelmsford, if you're happy to move to Essex. Loads of shops, cinemas, restaurants, ice rink, leisure centre, parklands, trains etc etc.

Terryscombover · 17/05/2019 18:13

Hitchin is a larger market down with good train links to Kings Cross. I agree with earlier suggestions about St Albans too.

OpposableThumbs2 · 17/05/2019 18:13

Hitchin

backtothegrindstone · 17/05/2019 18:13

@Amibeingdaft81 budget is about £1.2m at our top end. We don't have any family ties, so we're pretty free to go anywhere, as long as we can get into London, though we have more friends in Surrey, Kent and Berkshire than anywhere else so we'd probably be looking to stay bottom or left of London, though I'm open minded. @Barbarafromblackpool Dulwich would be pretty much back to where we just came from, so probably not going to work! @Leafyhouse I love the idea of Richmond though we are near Gatwick now and the planes drive me mad so that would worry me. Also, not sure budget would stretch that far there? We had though Surbiton maybe?

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