Made wrong move out of London. Help me get it right second time...

[backtothegrindstone]

The title says it all really. We moved out of London nearly 2 years ago to Dorking in Surrey. Its a pretty nice town, but we realised fairly quickly that it just wasn't the right fit for us, and after a lot of soul searching, we've decided that we'd like to move again whilst the kids are still young enough to get over it, with the aim of finding somewhere we can call home for good. There's nothing massively wrong with Dorking, but neither of us can imagine spending the rest of our lives here. There's just too many small elements missing and when you add them all together it makes one big reason not to stay. But I'm terrified of moving again and making the same mistake again. And there are just so many places we could go that I just don't know where to start. I'm hoping people could give me some ideas for places that might be a good fit for us, so I can start looking again?

We were really happy in London as we had a good circle of friends and a nice house, but we didn't really go into central London anymore and spent more and more time in our local neighbourhood. As more and more of our friends started to move out we had less and less reasons to stay and wanted a less hectic lifestyle for our boys. Now we've left, we are fairly sure we don't want to move back to London, but the move out has made us realise that there are a few 'city' things we can't live without that we're just not finding in Dorking. I'm hoping we can find at least most of them somewhere a bit greener and cleaner than London.

So negatives about Dorking for us have been that it's just a little too 'countrysidey' for us. We don't ride horses or have a dog or go mountain biking and we don't really feel like we quite fit in here. We've found the high street just a bit lacking in nice clothes shops and restaurants (especially non-chain restaurants, ideally ones that do brunch!), and it feels like a lot of stuff has closed down even in the 2 years we've been here. We've also really struggled to find a suitable house to buy here (we're looking for a 4+ bedroom detached period house with a decent sized garden within walking distance of the mainline station).

Ideally we're looking to move to a reasonably pretty and leafy 'commuter' town within an hour commute of London (preferably from a station with a minimum of 2 trains an hour) where you don't have to drive to do everyday stuff. Essentials include a supermarket, some decent cafes for brunch and lunch, some nice family friendly pubs, a private gym with a pool nearby, maybe a few decent boutiques and some facilities for kids like parks, playgrounds etc. Oh, and decent schools are a must. Other awesome bonuses would be access to Uber, a reasonable selection of takeaways, some decent bars/pubs and maybe a cinema.

Our house budget is reasonably health, and we're happy to go back within the M25 as long as it still feels green and leafy.

Am I asking the impossible?

Depending on where you have to commute to, Brighton is a complete pain for daily commuting to London

I grew up in SW London (Richmond borough) and it's perfect - although I was used to plane noise.

Great state schools (and private too), good shops, lots of parks and things to do, a countryside-ish feel in Richmond Park and down by the river. Your budget might not go that far in Richmond town centre but in the surrounding areas (Twickenham, Teddington etc) you could get a nice house in catchment for a good/outstanding school. And fast trains to Waterloo plus the slower District Line.

Otherwise I now live near Clapham/Wandsworth and have seen houses in catchment for amazing schools in your budget. No countryside feel and maybe a bit too central for you though.

I'd also say Reading, definitely go Wokingham side , so Woodley, Earley, Sonning, Twyford. All the schools are good. Shops in Woodley include Waitrose, Lidl, Iceland, and all the main banks, you've also stand alone Aldi and M&S Food, Sainsburys, Asda in Lower Earley - and all stores deliver which is handy. TWyford station is very quick commute to London. You're not far from Bracknell which has a good new shopping centre, and Wokingham is mid-redevelopment. Buses in the suburbs are pretty good - clean and regular, I used to live in Woodley and it was so handy to hop on a bus and be in Reading very quickly thanks to the bus lanes.
Lots going on in Reading entertainment wise. Good out of town am dram eg Wargrave, Twyford, and we like the dinner theatre in Sonning. Also handy for M4 for travel to eg coast, NT places. And I love the open air Lido.

If you’re not into the countryside activities per se, I’m really at a loss as to why you moved away from Dulwich! Lovely houses, parks, restaurants and good schools and an easy hop into town for actual London.

The only ‘hectic’ thing is the commute on peak hour trains but you’re going to have to do that anyway from these commuter towns (and pay a lot more for the joy)

If you don’t like Dorking I can’t think you’re going to like any of the other commuter towns.

Sounds to me like you moved out just because your friends were and you thought it was the done thing with children. It’s not, you don’t have to. Lots of people regret moving but get stuck and can’t return. Luckily the stagnant/falling market means you probably can return if you want!

Your list of wants basically describe ‘posh’ suburbs of London.

Brighton is probably gong to be the best compromise between city amenities, London access and not being too countryside for you.

Scrub Lewes - big gardens aren't a thing in the central part.

Guildford /Godalming but you need to be very aware of school
catchment areas .
Canterbury still has grammar schools

I won't advise Wokingham or Reading. The train from Wokingham takes 1hr 8 minutes just to get to Waterloo, and it's always packed. When I lived there, you had to allow for 2 hours of travel, door to door, to get into London. You won't get home till 7 or 8pm.

And hasn't Brighton lost it's amazing 50-minute train now? My friend was saying it's at least an hour or more to get to Victoria now.

*its

Yes, but Reading gets Crossrail in December, which will cut the journey time to Paddington to 50 mins, Liverpool St in 60.

But I agree with Sodding that I wouldn’t consciously move anywhere which relies on Southern rail for your commute. The industrial disputes have been rumbling on for three years and are still unresolved.

Cambridge?
50 minute service to Kings Cross
Trains also direct to Liverpool St
Kids cycle everywhere so no need to give lifts. Booming economy and low crime.
Or Saffron Walden?

All of these places will be places that are full of people who work in London but want to be outside the M25, so many will have made that choice because they are into horse riding, mountain bikes, country pursuits, but need to be close to London to pay for it. Consider this is going to be similar wherever you go.

I agree that sevenoaks might be too small for your requirements, tunbridge wells or tonbridge might be better fits. St Albans is lovely, and might be a good fit. Spend some time visiting some and see what you think.

Actually Brighton might be the best suggestion. Trains are a mess though, but that cant be a long term issue..

With that budget, I would look at somewhere like Hampstead or Richmond or Putney rather than a commuter town

You won’t be able to get a 4 bed detached in walking of the station on that budget in either Harpenden or St Albans. Berkhamsted is slightly cheaper, and Hitchin cheaper again. What about Amersham?

Godalming - villagey but right next to Guildford. Quite pricey though so not sure how far your money would go.
St Albans/Hitchin - convenient links into London, nice and buzzy.
Kew/Richmond/Surbiton - still London-ish but London Lite. You do have lots of green leafiness but again quite pricey and traffic filled and on the flight path.
Brighton - trains into London every 10 - 15 mins, 52 mins to Victoria. A 4 bed period house with garden is about £850k. The train season ticket is eye watering, but the cheaper housing could offset that in terms of your budget? Brighton centre is basically London on sea, but lots of lovey countryside only a few mins away and the city has lot of green spaces.

Brighton (or Hove actually) is perfect for you. BUT don't come here please. London move-ins price us locals out of the area 😖

You won't get everything you want in a small "market town" and your kids won't thank you for it either!

The trains are a bit of a mess but it's getting better and it's still very quick into London.

Ask Guildford or Kingston. However, on your budget you could probably get more for your money staying in outer London, I.e. Beckenham, Brockley, Bromley

Also not ask!

Oxford ?

Brighton isn’t commutable to London without big drawbacks IME, unless perhaps you work next to Victoria.

Richmond
Chislehurst
Canterbury
Sevenoaks

Have a look at those

Beckenham is lovely too