Made wrong move out of London. Help me get it right second time...

[backtothegrindstone]

The title says it all really. We moved out of London nearly 2 years ago to Dorking in Surrey. Its a pretty nice town, but we realised fairly quickly that it just wasn't the right fit for us, and after a lot of soul searching, we've decided that we'd like to move again whilst the kids are still young enough to get over it, with the aim of finding somewhere we can call home for good. There's nothing massively wrong with Dorking, but neither of us can imagine spending the rest of our lives here. There's just too many small elements missing and when you add them all together it makes one big reason not to stay. But I'm terrified of moving again and making the same mistake again. And there are just so many places we could go that I just don't know where to start. I'm hoping people could give me some ideas for places that might be a good fit for us, so I can start looking again?

We were really happy in London as we had a good circle of friends and a nice house, but we didn't really go into central London anymore and spent more and more time in our local neighbourhood. As more and more of our friends started to move out we had less and less reasons to stay and wanted a less hectic lifestyle for our boys. Now we've left, we are fairly sure we don't want to move back to London, but the move out has made us realise that there are a few 'city' things we can't live without that we're just not finding in Dorking. I'm hoping we can find at least most of them somewhere a bit greener and cleaner than London.

So negatives about Dorking for us have been that it's just a little too 'countrysidey' for us. We don't ride horses or have a dog or go mountain biking and we don't really feel like we quite fit in here. We've found the high street just a bit lacking in nice clothes shops and restaurants (especially non-chain restaurants, ideally ones that do brunch!), and it feels like a lot of stuff has closed down even in the 2 years we've been here. We've also really struggled to find a suitable house to buy here (we're looking for a 4+ bedroom detached period house with a decent sized garden within walking distance of the mainline station).

Ideally we're looking to move to a reasonably pretty and leafy 'commuter' town within an hour commute of London (preferably from a station with a minimum of 2 trains an hour) where you don't have to drive to do everyday stuff. Essentials include a supermarket, some decent cafes for brunch and lunch, some nice family friendly pubs, a private gym with a pool nearby, maybe a few decent boutiques and some facilities for kids like parks, playgrounds etc. Oh, and decent schools are a must. Other awesome bonuses would be access to Uber, a reasonable selection of takeaways, some decent bars/pubs and maybe a cinema.

Our house budget is reasonably health, and we're happy to go back within the M25 as long as it still feels green and leafy.

Am I asking the impossible?

Reading ticks all your boxes

“That, and we were spending hours every weekend driving out of London to go to NT places and the beach and stuff”

You know the kids will refuse to do this past a certain young age?

And you will spend their teen years as a taxi driver?

I have loved bringing my boys up in an area v close to E Dulwich. A fantastic sense of community in great state schools, learning to be leaders and citizens in an adventurous scouts group, huge range of drama and music opportunities and taking them to the country side for walking and camping.

“London calling....”

What do you mean by you grew up way too quickly? I think that's to do with your peers - not a city or country thing. I grew up in lovely refined Winchester in the 1970s and there were plenty of teen pregnancies and drugs at my secondary school.

I live in Surbiton and love it! 20 mins into Waterloo, a few nice parks, good schools and 5 mins into Kingston which is great for shopping. Hampton court, the river and lots of royal park etc close by too.

Bishops Stortford?

I think if you want a small town, you'll have to accept fewer shops and restaurants.
I think Hitchin might work out ok. Or you could look at Saffron Walden (station is outside the town though). Broxbourne, Sawbridgeworth, Ware? Closer to London but maybe lacking a bit of buzz. Marlborough? Or Witney? Probably both a bit far out.

I wouldn't consider Tun Wells or Sevenoaks if you don't like Dorking. Sevenoaks,whilst an excellent commute into LB is pretty dull.

We are in St Albans, brunch is fine and your budget would stretch to walking distance to town and the station not sure how much garden toy would get.

Schools are excellent both primary and secondary. We love it here 20 mins to London and a theatre, cinema too many coffee shops but a great market.

We live a bit further out but have the advantage of fields to walk the dog in and cheaper housing stock. But my DC goes to a secondary school in the middle if town

There's actually 5 theatres in St Albans.

Posted too soon. Meant to add St Albans ticks most of your boxes OP, and a lot of former Londoners end up here. We lived in Chalk Farm and though I took longer to adjust then DH, we now both love living here.

Actually there's 6 theatres if you include the Roman Amphitheatre. Which you should.

Agree re Winchester, St Albans and Guildford (Farnham looks great but there's nothing there). For smaller I would suggest Petersfield, Alton or Haslemere.

But I actually think Lewes fits your bill.

Thames Ditton has everything you want. It's just outside Surbiton.

Or Surbiton itself is fab! I lived there for years when my D.C. were young and it's great for families. Pubs, a river, great schools, amazing trains to Waterloo in 20 minute, leafy, friendly...

Come and live in leafy Ally Pally (in London).

@bibbitybobbityyhat I don't mean that at all actually. I mean I'd grown used to all the amazing city stuff (clubs and gigs and theatre and stuff, the general excitement of city life) by the age of 15. By the time I went to university it didn't feel very exciting and I remember wishing I could see it through everyone else's eyes. I'd like my boys to want to leave home, to want to go and find that stuff out for themselves somewhere that isn't their home town. But also I really do feel pretty done with London anyway, and so does my husband. We might want some London things, but we wanted a quieter life, less traffic, less pollution, less fly tipping, more space and a big garden. We were just ready for something different. I REALLY don't want to move back to London. Frankly, the thought makes me shudder

@TheRedBarrows "“That, and we were spending hours every weekend driving out of London to go to NT places and the beach and stuff”

You know the kids will refuse to do this past a certain young age"

Sod the kids, that stuff is for us!

New area- Kenilworth, Leamington,

berkhamsted. full of north londoners. canal, good restaurants, thriving high street, 34mins to euston.

Horsham could tick some of your boxes.

I was going to suggest Kingston too.

Buy this...

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-73621769.html

And this (or similar)

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-62016534.html

You're welcome!!

Stop suggesting Hitchin, you're pushing all us locals out towards bloody Bedford

Wanstead , South Woodford, Woodford green, chingford
All lovely middle class boutiques , normal professional people, lots of outstanding school, beautiful countryside and parks
Oh and half an hour to bank on central line
Get a 5:6bed with nice garden for £1.1-1.2m

Epping or Theydon Bois. Final two stops on the central line. Can't get better than that.

Where do you like that your friends have moved too?

Dorking is likely too small for you, I've lived there and liked it, although I moved, but you're looking for something bigger.

Horsham and Guildford spring to mind, both way bigger than dorking, all the facilities you're looking for, and within an hour of London.