Private school refusing to authorise leave

[Springhare76]

DS2 is 15 and just started year 11 at a private school. He has just been offered an 8 week trial at a premier league football academy which would involve him missing 2 mornings of school a week. I have emailed the school for approval. Not heard back yet but I think they are going to decline it which means that he will miss out on a massive opportunity. He lives and breathes football so this is huge for him. What are my options if they do refuse leave?

I know 3 kids who do premier league academies. All of the training is after school - they sometimes leave a bit early - and they are very keen on keeping up with the academics etc.

@Tiswa - from the OPs thread at the start of the summer. And from that thread I think the OP should concentrate on a solid basic education for her son and not stress out over this. I am an ex teacher and I have seen ex pupils of mine play football for england via the Chelsea academy. The only way this works for any child successful or not is in the context of an extremely close and supportive partnership between school and parents. From the info, OP hasn't done basics such as setting out exactly how & when she would get tutors to replicate the exact lessons missed. An education is vitally important especially pre 16.

Whilst I do agree that the thread you’re referring to…. Both the OP’s sons come across as truly awful and profoundly disrespectful to her, you have to be realistic…. And telling a 15 year old mad keen footballer to suck it up and crack on at school is simply not going to pan out well.

Oh I agree, this kid has checked out of school already. So it's no wonder his head is delighted at an excuse to force him out

So I really feel for the OP

because if she pulls him…. She’s going to have him at home all day every day, and on the basis of the other thread - that’s going to be horrific.

But if she doesn’t pull him, then he will be so furious (understandably that he can’t do this) that her life will be impossible anyway. Plus he will be venomous towards the head (and kind of rightfully)

so it is bloody difficult!

I have more than one child, all very different. You know nothing about what I know about children, sport or education. You also know very little about any of my children, including the one who has school anxiety. I’m not the one making big assumptions about another child based on my own.

I don’t think anyone is suggesting at this point that online schooling is anything more than a means to an end to pursue sports to enable the OP’s son to participate in his sport. It has drawbacks for a lot of children so it’s often the lesser evil in terms of choice. The perfect solution would be for his current school to work with the club as so many others clearly do and authorise this absence.

Yes and I said I didn’t think that suggestion would be wise

and it rather seems to have antagonised you!

I think the fact that you’ve made up the fact that the OP’s son is very sociable which leads to your comment that it would be an awful idea rather irritated me! It’s possible to be sporty, shy and introverted, believe it or not.

Other thread referred to upthread

he is very sociable and always has his friends over

I’m afraid I haven’t spent time advance searching the OP. I’ve always heard that was considered poor form on here?

In any case, my own child remains very sociable despite her online schooling. It’s only one small part of her life. Online schooling doesn’t necessarily take a child’s social life away. I absolutely agree it’s not for everyone though, just not sure you can make a blanket decision on any particular ‘type’ of child.

It was referred to
I took a look
very relevant to this thread 🤷‍♀️

I didn't either but then saw lots of mentions

Op could have name changed if they didn't want the connection made

I agree, my son did online school for a couple of years due to his health and it was great

A lot of incorrect speculation about my son!

I had obviously not looped him into the detail of my back and forth with the school as it will just add unnecessary stress to him which is not helpful, nor do I think he should be asked to make this decision. I did mention to him today though that it looked like the school was not going to authorise the request and he was very calm and said it would mean him missing a lot of school and he understood their position! I am actually really proud of his maturity. I didn't ask directly but I don't think he wants to leave and start somewhere else so the decision has sort of been made.

School just came back and said it will authorise 1 morning (arriving at school at 2pm) and possibly him leaving early so he would be able to attend 2 training sessions. I need to check if the club will accept that but we MAY have found a way though.

It sounds as if he has his head switched on @Springhare76

have you looked into any sixth form programmes linked to football clubs and their foundations as it sounds as if it might be something for your son to do so he can do a levels and continue with football so he can work out whst career he wants (or if US college is a possibility for him as well on a scholarship)

Op it’s not speculation it’s based on a pretty disturbing thread of yours. However if things have improved since then, then great

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/teenagers/5369085-cant-cope-with-teenagers-any-more

and brilliant that things seem to be panning out ok

Maybe he has a radical transformation over the summer - if so what a relief for @Springhare76 but I can still see why school aren't exactly going to be sad if he votes with his feet

Do you just delight sticking the boot in? Can you not possibly imagine that a thread was posted in anger/at a bad time and that things might have changed or that the OP (like most parents of teenagers) really dislike their kids' behaviour sometimes and yet still want the best for them?!

OP I don't know how far you are from London, but if you want a truly football-mad school for Sixth form with links to the Premier League, I can recommend St John's (on the Ridgeway). They will bend over backwards for their football boys.

He is and has always been a good boy and decent person, unlike you who seems to get a kick out of trying to rile strangers (and insulting their kids) on the internet. Don't you have better things to do? Better to say nothing then say something mean, spiteful and unhelpful, surely??

Have heard of it and absolutely going to check it out! Didn't Ethan Nwaneri go there? Out of interest, do you know of any state options which are good for football? Harris Academy is one I think but not sure the academics are that strong.

A school that prides itself on sports and yet obstructs someone from it being a career suggests to me a form of deception, or false advertising.

I have made that exact point. It's obviously only internal sports that are supported.

I am basing my assumptions on your very unflattering descriptions of him ...

I think he has to do this. If not he will be wondering 'what if...' for the rest of his life.

So you have to find a way to sell this to the school. Perhaps the club could mention the school on their social media in some way...

Maybe don't spend your time trawling through past posts on Mumsnet which bear no relevance to the current question? It creates a VERY unflattering impression of you as a nasty pointless piece of work. What is your point actually? Trying to attack a 15 year old? Does it give you a kick?