Private school refusing to authorise leave

[Springhare76]

DS2 is 15 and just started year 11 at a private school. He has just been offered an 8 week trial at a premier league football academy which would involve him missing 2 mornings of school a week. I have emailed the school for approval. Not heard back yet but I think they are going to decline it which means that he will miss out on a massive opportunity. He lives and breathes football so this is huge for him. What are my options if they do refuse leave?

Quite a few posters yes @Finallybreathingout andbyes they are but not in the timeframe to get the trial I wouldn’t have thought
online school (private and via the LA) is an amazing resource I just don’t think it is right one here as a knee jerk reaction

Is Fruitlips the OP name changed? I’m one of the people suggesting online school to the OP as one of the possible options to consider but I’m not sure what Fruitlips’ son has to do with that?

My guess is that in extremis and with the promise of an elite sports player on roll, an online school may admit immediately, but that’s a supposition. I also know (from experience) that they will offer to teach to an existing exam board syllabus if a child moves during year 10/11, although this is obviously still far from ideal for any child.

OP I'm not sure how it's going to work going forward since it is so short notice. The club needs an approval from the school, right? So even if you do decide to change his schools, it won't be sorted in time for next week. So are the club happy to just let him do the trial anyway?

At this point is just keeping him off school unauthorised for a couple of weeks for the trial - the same as you'd do if you were going on a holiday they hadn't agreed to - not best? Then afterwards you can see how things are and what to do next?

He is on track for "stellar" grades. It's an academic school. 90% of grades are 7-9. He has not had any attendance issues in the past so do shut up! The school were onto him last term for being a few minutes late, shirt untucked etc. That's it. Stop trolling and get a life.

Thank you. That's exactly how I feel. Even if they can't approve the full leave then I would expect them to come back with a counterproposal not just a flat no. This is also a school who prides itself on its sports offering. Obviously they only mean internally and will not support your child trying to do this outside of school.

OP name has not changed ;)

That's rubbish. There are a million players waiting to jump into his place if the club simply cannot get him on trial. This is the 3rd time they have tried so it's not like they are not being flexible.

Schools often state values such as helping each child reach their potential, encouraging opportunities etc and yet in practice….

Exactly, three times they've tried. So he's got something that isn't going to disappear by not going to that trial. GCSEs are the most important thing, football will always be there And the academy will understand that. No way an academy wants it in the newspapers that a child was removed from school.in his gcse year simply because the head wouldn't give permission for a trial because ut impacted on their gcse year. And if there are a million players to take his place as you claim then why are you hanging all your hopes on this?
Honestly, if your son is going to make it as a professional football player it won't just hang on this one trial.

OP given the proximity of the trial I would call Kings InterHigh (or any online school) today and try to get him on their roll. They can enrol very quickly from having spoken to them in the past.

Have you read any part of the thread?!

Aren’t you a little pissed off at the club at the eleventh hour they have suddenly changed it from just 2 mornings a week to a full day and one morning?

Because the OP’s son sounds similar to my 15 yr old.

Very sporty and sociable

online home schooling would be utterly unsuitable

I do think you’re projecting. OP has never described her son like that. He’s clearly sporty but I don’t see how you’ve identified your son with him so strongly otherwise.

OP…. Your son..,. Very sociable? Extremely sporty? How do you think he’d suddenly adjust to online home schooling?

“Identified so strongly”?

Very sporty (team sports it would seem) and that usually goes hand in hand with very sociable

and that is the extent of how I have identified my 15 year old son with the OP’s

You are a home educator of a child that literally can’t attend school. Very different from this boy it would seem

I think it’s naive to assume that being good enough is enough to make it when we are talking about the “big dream” careers like professional football, famous singers, actors, authors etc.

Its true that there are very very few talented enough to get there but of those only a small percent are lucky enough or have the right opportunities.

There are plenty of people who have missed out due to lack of opportunities. Being good enough isn’t all that’s required.

Personally I’d say that GCSEs are the things that will always be there. In fact even if he did end up homeschooled or going to online school or changing schools it’s perfectly possible for him to still do them this year and do perfectly well.

Yes but does he want to go from being in school with friends to doing online school? It is a huge change that comes with it a certain amount of sacrifice

what does he want - because what he wants (and is a reasonable want) to be able to go the trial alongside being at school it seems (unfairly) he can’t have

and it isn’t fair the school won’t make allowances for it and a school sign off is required but at the moment that is looking like the outcome.

So HE needs to decide what is the way forward from this. Not @Springhare76, not anyone else. him and him alone. He is a 15/16 year old boy whose life is going to be impacted by this decision and it is his to make. Because what is worse than living with regret and missed opportunity is resentment that someone else made that decision for you.

He is old enough and presumably smart enough to know exactly what his chances are of actually making it. Only he should make that choice

because leaving the school is a pretty big sacrifice to make academically and socially and is at least as big if not bigger than saying no to the trial

the OP needs to let her understandable anger go and support her son in making the decision but not make it for him. And be honest about the implications of any decision

I may have misunderstood but I got the impression that this the club trying to be helpful. The initial offer was 2 half days for 8 weeks and they have amended it to 3 half days for 2.5 weeks which is about half the time off school and much more compacted. I'm assuming they thought this might be less disruptive to the sschool and hence more acceptable. Get it done and make a decision quickly rather than lower level disruption for a long time type of thing which actually sounds a fairly reasonable approach to me.
I can see both sides of the argument but It seems like the OP and the club are willing to negotiate but the school is being completely inflexible.

If he needs to be at training for 1pm, what time will that mean you collecting him from school op?

Ah I see

so…. Total time off is 4 days.

if this head refused that, then the Op knows this head wants her son OUT, and she would be better off withdrawing him whatever the final decision is

Bewildered at the people saying football will always be there. Of course anyone can play football at almost any age but these massive opportunities aren’t endless and there is a time limit on this. Physical careers in sport start young (we already know my daughter isn’t good enough for a professional ballet career now at 12 so are putting lots of efforts into other dance styles) and you have to decide early if this is what you want - at the exclusion of all else sometimes.

I would actually say the academics will always be there. There is college and online schooling and probably other options I don’t even know about. The OP has the financial resources to put behind something slightly non traditional so I can’t imagine the choice is football or a life of failure.

I don’t think you’ve ever said what your son wants OP. If the choice is this trial and dropping the private school or staying with his friends and hoping for another trial at football another time. I personally would think he’s old enough to get a vote if not to make the decision.

This is mad - don’t instruct a lawyer against your children's school and don’t worry so much about giving your ungrateful child this opportunity against the advice of education professionals. Say - oh school have said you can’t, so concentrate on your GCSEs please. Job done.

How is the child ungrateful?

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