Private school refusing to authorise leave

[Springhare76]

DS2 is 15 and just started year 11 at a private school. He has just been offered an 8 week trial at a premier league football academy which would involve him missing 2 mornings of school a week. I have emailed the school for approval. Not heard back yet but I think they are going to decline it which means that he will miss out on a massive opportunity. He lives and breathes football so this is huge for him. What are my options if they do refuse leave?

Tiwsa, I think you're a bit clueless. My communications with the headteacher have been extremely respectful and it is "going well". The school has a policy and it's unlikely they'll deviate from it regardless of how nicely I ask them. The head is being unreasonable is not trying to find a solution to allow DS to attend his trial. You think he isn't but 99% of posters, including those who know something about football, agree that he is. I am up to speed about GCSEs and different exam boards so really don't need your advice there.

I am deliberating ignoring you.

I don’t see what @Thefirstdelicious has said?

@Springhare76 have you watched Tom Dalys documentary about his journey because it is eye opening the sacrifices he made and the life experiences he lost and even with ALL of his success and the way he genuinely changed British diving and the legacy he has left there is a sense of what it took from him to do so

working out exactly what this could cost him especially if the head says no and the potential sacrifices are things worth asking. Exactly what he wants and what he is prepared to give up for it and be open and honest with him rather than portray it as a opportunity no one else would turn down and everyone else is jealous

I think he is being unreasonable as it happens I have never said he isn’t. But unless you can change his mind the advice I have given from there still stands.

and what am I being clueless on exactly?

Because my advice is this. If he says as you think he does no. You have two choices stay and reject or take it and leave and figure out another way of doing GCSEs you and your son need to work out what he wants from football and his life - what is clueless about that and recognising that sacrifices will have to be made if the no is given and what he wants that to be

Presumably all your dealings are direct with the headteacher, so am wondering whether it would be helpful to ask for involvement with the Board of Governors?

Seems as if the school is being somewhat short sighted as it could potentially bring so much good publicity to the school.

And you need to get off yours. Being rude and personal doesnt change the fact you have no idea what you are talking about.

The OP has no idea if her kid is going to be successful and neither do you or I for that matter. Onky the highly qualified coaches can make that decision and thats up to the kid and them.

They clearly see something in him to ask him to trial - they wouldn’t waste their time otherwise. And trials at his age are few and far between so close to scholar so they clearly see something.

You have made a number of assumptions which are just wrong. My kid was successful and doing it now so I might just know more about the process, issues and way it works. That’s not an high horse but advise talking from an experienced place. And in case you are wondering day release isn’t an issue and my son gets straight A’s so it isn’t affecting his schooling at all as he manages it well.

I haven’t been rude or personal in any of my posts but you are right when you say I am not following your or OP’s logic.

The OP has said the head will not give consent and the football body will not take the boy without consent. Therefore the only option is to off roll the boy from the week after next.

The trial will either succeed or it will fail. If it fails, the boy has something good for his CV but no school place to do his GCSEs and little prospect of one before half term at least assuming the OP can find somewhere which offers his combo of subjects and exam boards with a place for him. So his prospects on GCSEs are significantly diminished.

if he succeeds you have said it will be a requirement that he maintains good grades. But he has no school place, all the problems above in finding one and is only available to attend 80% of the time.

As a parent, these are not options I would choose for my own child. I’m delighted your child has been successful but you also don’t have the issue of having to remove him from school to attend the trial to contend with.

Unfortunately the combination of the injury over the summer and the head’s refusal seem to mean this kid has missed this opportunity. That doesn’t make the head wrong though - he just has different priorities to the mother and the head’s priorities are more aligned with mine (which stresses the need for a minimum standard of education at age 16) than yours which prioritises a chance of glory.

@Hiptothisjive Your maths is a bit dodgy. These clubs have the tiers for academy youngsters and various age groups. Many dc don’t ever get to senior academy status. They don’t make it past juniors. The upper age group is pretty large at any one time too with just a handful given contracts for the first team squad. They are often sent out to other clubs - Harry Kane was and it’s standard policy now. A tiny % of the overall academy dc get to move on to senior team status. This dc hasn’t gone into the junior academy. He’s going into a trial for the older set up at a late stage. There will be loads trying for this. The tv programmes about the Palace Academy were interesting and informative.

I’m sorry the school are being so rigid and absolutely shitty over this. Of course your son can catch up. It’s a really rare opportunity and I think your son will always regret it if he doesn’t do it. Arm yourself with a plan of how he will catch up. Kids have to try to catch up for all sorts of awful reasons limiting their ability to do so - significant bereavements, long covid, chemo, huge negative life changes. This kid just has a fantastic opportunity, with none of those blockers to catching up. It might go nowhere, but the school’s stance is awful and leaves a really bitter taste. I’m sorry OP. Your frustration is 100% justified.

What if it is the other way around? GCSE’s just a very small part of life. I don’t know what the OP’s family circumstances are, but this is an opportunity given to only a few.

Yeah I’m not talking about the younger age groups. I’m taking about scholar and above. The younger groups only have around 16 and there are limits set by the FA on squad size. As I have also said onky about 8-12 kids get signed to scholar and these are the kids I was basing my maths on as that is where the OP’s son would be. So my maths is fine from where the OP’s son is at.

We are also not taking about development academies which aren’t really academies and are just clubs making money from their names. Those kids almost never get signed.

As for the Palace show - yeah we know it and my son plays against those boys who are still there so we live it. Only about a third of kids who have been signed young make scholar. I am basing my knowledge on a lived experience and the many many many many kids we know who have been signed as scholars - not on a tv show shot when those kids were 12/13 (?) which is a VERY diffeeent age group.

You are conflating things that don’t equal.

But a vital one to opening up doors for the next one

all of those that are in programmes right now will take GCSEs so they have enough to fall back on - it is part of the programme and why rhe FA need the school to sign off on it. No child should have to sacrifice their future

if he is successful that would all be taken care of. It is if he isn’t and has left the school that is the issue

which is why even though the OP calls me clueless decisions have to be made if the headteacher says no

I think (and yes OP I do think) the headteacher is wrong not to try and make adjustments but that is his prerogative and if he does say no that is when the difficult conversation needs to be had because ultimately ensuring his education IMO does need to be the priority

Well maybe but they all start as wannabes and the DS here isn’t signed at all. So when all said and done, a tiny minority make it to be Prem players.

This Is once in a lifetime and if he doesn’t get to do this he will resent it forever and never be able to get over the what if. I would move heaven and earth to let this happen.

GCSEs can be done any time. I’d happily put him in an online school if necessary with the understanding that he will study his arse off. Yes education is important but other things are important too.

Has the head agreed to meet you to discuss?

He could do yr 11 again if it’s that bad! Private schools can do this. I bet if it was rugby they would agree! Or cricket!

Absolutely this with bells on. If he’s good enough now, he’ll still be good enough in nine months when his exams are over.

Messi/Mbappe/Ronaldo would all still have ‘made it’ if they had missed an opportunity like this as they are just that good. If your son has the same potential, they’ll come
back for a second look later down the line when he’s available.

I don't think this warrants a response 🙄

Messi/Ronaldo/Mbappe - maybe add Maradona and Pele to the list? 🤣

Any update OP?

So, the club came back with a revised schedule so the trial is 2.5 weeks (started today) and would require him to miss approx 1.5 days of school each week. The head is refusing to authorise any leave at all. We are arranging a meeting which will hopefully be tomorrow latest as DS has to be at training at 1pm on Monday. So we are left with the option of either DS missing the trial or changing school. I am speaking to an education lawyer later to see if there is anything we can do from a legal perspective.

Yes, possibly. I am speaking to an education lawyer later to see what we can do, if anything. I spoke to her earlier in the week and she sounded quite positive as it should be approved as educational leave.

Sad that it comes to lawyers having to be involved. Hope it brings the desired outcome.

But if this is the same child who on another thread was barely attending school or doing any work last year, then school might have hit their final straw moment with him? I assume you have disclosed all that to the lawyer before relying on their off the cuff advice?

Perhaps if you read the entire thread rather than posting off the cuff snippiness you’d know the answer to that?