Private school refusing to authorise leave

[Springhare76]

DS2 is 15 and just started year 11 at a private school. He has just been offered an 8 week trial at a premier league football academy which would involve him missing 2 mornings of school a week. I have emailed the school for approval. Not heard back yet but I think they are going to decline it which means that he will miss out on a massive opportunity. He lives and breathes football so this is huge for him. What are my options if they do refuse leave?

I am very tempted, trust me!! 10k a term to deny him a once in a lifetime opportunity!

They DO have a point that he will miss a lot of school but there are workarounds plus he does have time to catch-up on what he misses.

I agree with the suggestion of a meeting face to face. I am surprised at a school not being supportive as the kudos of having taught a successful sportsman (or woman) can mean a lot. I agree with the observation that even if most of his career turned out to be in the second or third tier, his earnings would be a lot.

You should of course be prepared for your son to not be taken on after the trial and ensure he has a plan B.

And I hope it is not Manchester United given how many have failed or had off the field issues.

I really wouldn't accept this. I think the school is being awful. As I mentioned above, I know a number of elite young athletes and have never heard of a private school behaving in such a way.

I know. I think ultimately it should be parents (and child's choice) not the heads, He can basically veto him taking a once in a lifetime opportunity which is very wrong.

I think the head needs to make their own assessment of what’s in the best interest of the child and be prepared to advocate for this even if it’s not what the parent has decided is in the child’s best interests though. Otherwise they are just an echo chamber.

In this case even though you acknowledge there is a very very small chance your child will succeed, you seem to want him to take this chance at the expense of academic success. To the extent you have even considered him giving up his school
place for the year to chase this dream!

So for a maybe less than 1% chance he becomes a famous footballer, you would have him leave school at 15 without a single academic qualification to his name. With the result that he is poorly equipped to manage his own career, supervise agents and financial advisers if he does succeed and has a mountain to climb to get some qualifications should he not succeed, get injured or decide he’s no longer interested in football later in life. Have you seriously thought how hard it is going to be for him to get ANY job in the future without even maths and English GCSEs?

As others have said he only has about another 10-12 weeks of teaching before he starts revision and then is into exams and you are at best proposing he misses 20% of that teaching and more extremely all of it. I think the head is quite right to tell you he disagrees with you and to really make you think very hard about what’s best for your child as this is definitely not something which should be just nodded through without very serious thought.

Of course. Amazing for your son - he will be fine as he knows an academy system.

So difficult OP. I really do think you need to go in and speak to them. Presumably the head of recruitment is your contact at the club - can you speak to them and ask for their advice? They are normally pretty good (they want your kid to trial!) and have heard it all from schools so may be able to help.

I don't know the Academy your son has a trial for (don't post it here) - PM if you prefer? Some have affiliated schools and the kids go there so it isn't a problem. Honestly I know a number of boys who go to private - including a very academic one in London and he is released twice a week as his school are okay with this. I honestly haven't heard of a school refusing. Either the school says yes and the kid goes or the kid goes to the affiliated school Speak to the head of recruitment (or whomever your contact is there). I know you don't know yet, but consider if he is successful then he may be contracted to attend training twice a week in the day for example so this problem may only get 'worse', but by then you will know.

Keep us updated - speak to the school directly and the club. Fingers crossed for you.

Noone is saying he is going to drop out of schooling and not take his GCSEs! At worst, which I have almost ruled out but needs to be considered, he may change school but he would absolutely still take he GCSEs and I believe could still do very well. Even if he is not successful at this trial, it would be a very very positive thing to have on his CV and will help him get other trials. Noone other than you and the HT are saying it has to be either or. Of course it doesn't! The head has to make an objective assessment but he is obviously minded to act in the best interests of the school and in line with their policies which may not be in line with DS''s best interests. He should not be able to veto an opportunity like this.

None of what you have said is true or in the know. I won't list it all again but it just isn't true. In terms of academics - you have to maintain your grades as part of your contract so no you don't leave school without qualification. If you fall behind remedial measures are put in place. You don't manage your own career and agents can't be signed until scholar which this kid isn't yet.

And no it isn't less than 1% for cat 1 academy kids - here is a stat for you - they sign about 8-12 kids a year. Juergen Klopp gave 40 kids their senior debut. He was the Liverpool coach for 8 years - so approx 80 kids signed and 40 got a senior debut. The math here - 50%. A lot of these kids get loaned to other clubs outside the UK to get game time before they come back to potentially first team football.

Academics are important - the club get a report from the school once a term to monitor attendance, lateness, attitude and grades.

If you are going to be negative at least speak from experience and knowledge.

The school have refused to authorise leave apart from one session this week which he will go to.

so the head literally said “no…. Just the one session this week?”. No further reason?

and you left it quite late in the day to request this given the training starts this week!!

Good grief, do you have any more criticisms or suspicions???

Yes, the head authorised one session only. No idea why or how that helps.

We only asked the school last week because the club only told us his new start date last week! We were hoping/assuming it would be during the October half term.

Happy?

I think you need to get off your high horse. The OP herself said that it was highly unlikely that her son’s trial would be successful (in her post at 13.19). Not that he had a 50/50 chance.

She has also said on at least 3 occasions that if the head won’t back down she is considering withdrawing him from school so he can do this. If anyone genuinely thinks a child who is withdrawn from school in the first term of Year 11 will be able to start at a new school immediately, with the same timetabling to enable them to do the same mix of subjects, enrolled in all the same exam board and having taught all the same elective elements of the syllabus in the same order, and where the child is proposing to attend only 80% of the week They are in cloud cuckoo land that this child is going to sit and pass GCSEs this year.

Someone needs to present the reality to the parent. And the head would be derelict in his duty if he just rubber stamped this without a lot of due diligence none of which the OP appears to have done.

So the head just said “no but ok for one session” . Wow, he really doesn’t seem very engaged.

the other child who was offered similar but head declined to allow it.. what happened?

The club said… your son needs to start next week and needs two mornings off school for 8 weeks. Bloomin heck that was short notice!

OP… is he going to be able to go to school in the afternoon? Is the training club local to you?

Who are you to decide what is and what isn't short notice? That is how it works with trials. Can take ages or be quick. The head is not more likely to agree if it's later rather than sooner.

I don't know what he declined the other request and obviously can't ask as it's confidential to that family.

Such bizarre questions.

This ^^ You need to think of how he’ll make up the missed work.

Personally, I wouldn’t wait to hear back, I’d request a meeting now to discuss the best way to handle this. This is an amazing opportunity for your son, but you need to make this possible for him.

@Springhare76 Sorry, just saw that you have tutors lined up. Are the school aware of how organized you are to ensure that the academics are covered?

Thats why I think that a face-to-face meeting would be most effective.

The only one who needs to get off their high horse is you. You are talking nonsense and know nothing about my child or about football, very clearly! I speak from experience that it's entirely possible to move schools in year 11 and to very well in your GCSEs. There are many options including home schooling or an online school where he could continue with his current subjects.

In terms of him being successful, I am trying to be realistic given how intensely competitive it is and have said throughout that even if this trial doesn't work out then it's highly beneficial for him in terms of other opportunities. Yes, I do think. he will end up doing football in some form as a career but obviously I can't speculate exactly how likely anymore than anyone else can. The point that seems lost on you is that this is almost a once in a lifetime opportunity that any normal person would do anything to do. I don't think you can grasp that.

OP I personally know an athlete in another discipline (European champion level) who withdrew from her private school in year 11 to be home schooled (for different reasons to you they were unhappy with her school). She was tutored and was aiming for 8/9s in her GCSEs so the spiteful poster above is totally wrong that it's not possible.

You don’t think relevant to ask how far away the training is and whether he will be back at school for the afternoon on training days? 😵‍💫

I'm surprised the school has refused. When I worked in a private senior school, one of the reasons pupils joined was that teachers were under strict instructions to make sure they were supporting pupils who regularly missed lessons for exactly this sort of thing. Parents were paying fees for that extra support and for teachers not to chide those pupils. IME, private schools see sport, especially at that level, as much more important that mere lessons.

If you give notice now, you'll save 2 terms' fees and you can use that for private tutoring or find a more supportive private school.

So the head has declined
The first session is this week
and the second early next week?
given the head took days to respond despite how imminent it is, I think you need to at least pick up the phone.

https://www.millhill.org.uk/sport/sports-partnerships

this private school for example even has a partnership with the Football Association and seems to be incredibly and actively supportive of training academies

@Springhare76 so he is doing GCSEs then and common boards? It isn’t quite so straightforward as many private schools do I GCSEs and schools tend to vary boards and topics - DD has just done hers and in English especially it is different

the only view that matters here is the headteacher and with respect if you talk to him like you have on this thread it won’t go well. As you say he is the only one with the power

and then beyond that what does your son want - what does he want from his career and a sensible answer not just premier league footballer because that is key - does he want homeschool does he want to be a footballer is he ready for the commitment is he ready for the sacrifice

and that is it isn’t it - you seem to think normal people want this kind of opportunity but most recognise that it comes with sacrifice and even if he does make it there will be sacrifices

Superb post

OP, @Thefirstdelicious and @Onionlove81 are the same poster. They behave the same way in every thread - being goady, trawling through the OP's previous comments and spinning a narrative that's as critical as possible. They've been deleted numerous times but just keep making new posts. You're best not to engage.

Thank you Chonk, I wondered what was going on there. How pathetic that people actually find time and inclination to do this. A shame as 99% of the posts have been very helpful. Will report and hope they get removed.