to feel a bit gutted that DS primary school is 80% full of chav roughneck parents....

[Boobalina]

I know I am going to get shot down here but hear me out. DS is in reception at our local school walking distance from our house. Various friends of ours (who all live in nicer parts of the city) children all go to their local schools which are ofsted 'outstanding' and full of middle class parents and kids. Now this is what you get when you cant afford to live in a nicer part of the city I know... but every now and then it really guts me. DS went to a very nice nursery and pre-school close to my work which was a bit posh and DD still goes there. But we couldnt afford to send DS there for primary school. His teachers seem really lovely, and really professional - its just some of the kids and parents there.

I went to a nice village primary school and then ended up going to a rather rough comp after and it did me know harm at all. I just wanted a bit more for my kids and also its hard to make friends with some of the mums when they are screaming at their toddlers, smoking lamberts and comparing lovebites (really!)

I am really jealous of my friends....

and they have bigger houses than us....

pathetic isnt it........

(I think, Boobalina, that some people will just choose to misinterpret everything you say because they have their own ishoos.)

Holy a long 3/4 length coat over will do the job

What is this thing whereby money maketh manners? All this money thing I'm sure is missing the point.

Working harder does not necessarily earn you more money. Having more money does not make you a more decent person.

OP is talking about a completely different category of people. The no-hopers. We arrange our towns and cities so council houses are clustered in certain areas. The councils try and split it all up, but council houses remain on the type of estate I live on. Not all people who live in council houses are slummy, but quite a lot are because the welfare system in this country does nothing to encourage a good work ethic. That in turn leads to this underclass forming, bumming off the state. They stick together because they make themselves outcasts by not working. They get resentful because they feel out of society. Certain areas are prone to having this type of person residing in it. The nearby schools suffer as a result.

This type of person is incomparable to the working class in the historical sense.

A builder cannot make any more money by woking harder. That does not mean he should be categorised the same as the underclass. It doesn't mean he wants his kids to go to a nicer school any less than the 'middle' classes. He still has aspirations for them. It's the welfare state class that are the ones we all want to avoid during the school run (and you do too Scottishmummy so don't pretend you don't!)

Spaceman, you said it all sooo much better than I have been trying to.

It is not about money or clothes or car or big house. These things are red herrings.

I am not basing my opinions on purely looks...

its based on talking to some of the parents AT LENGTH, hearing from other parents about other parents, talking to the teachers.

I am sat here in my black velour jogging bottoms. I used to smoke 20 a day (B&H mind), I used to live in a part rough South london for years,

Hands up how many of you think all the people on Jeremy Kyle are 'salt of the earth' decent people and should be judged on their behaviour? or how many of you go fuck me - I dont want to live next door to them etc.

We cant move because I got made redundant and my husband demoted in the recession.

I absolutely disagree stopfighting. I think there could be a teeny minority that play the system, but the cost of them to the economy, is far far less than those who 'play the system' at the other end of the spectrum. i.e. MP expenses, the whole bankers fiasco, tax havens etc.

Being bone-idle is rarely a case for being on benefits, it is usually more to do with being trapped with no easy way out that those with a more privilleged background or upbringing have access to.

i grew up in a scheme."welfare state" class.parents still live in same scheme.stick that in your pipe

i avoid no one by class,accent,colour
i do gravitate to people i like."welfare class" or not

Sometimes I wonder why I bother with MN

Spaceman - you got it in one.

And yes I do get envious of my friends - who doesnt at times (unless you have it all or dont care.)

I dont want my little boy coming home from school because a little skin headed thug called Kyle punched him so hard he fell over - thats what happened today.

Its gutting.

Its be no better if Tarquin or Darcie did it, but I can guarantee that Kyle's parents wouldnt be particularly cross with him doing that or that if I happens again, Kyles mum would do the same thing to me if I said anything about it.

roughneck chavs = no hopers

we live three miles away from the school and half of that is winding one track roads
I have a 3 girls 9,4 and 2 so we drive

but I do get out and walk the 4 year old down to nursery

they are jammie bottoms

I cant find the patterns in trousers so just wear the jammie bottoms as trousers

I'd love to know how many of those on this thread that are criticising the OP have actually had their children attend a 'rough' school?

I'm with the OP on this one (though perhaps wouldn't have chosen quite such language to describe things - well, not in public anyway!).

My DD used to go to an inner London primary school in a deprived area. She was there for 18 months, from Reception. Now, the teachers were good, but, ultimately, the parents of a lot of the children were just awful. DD would come home to tell me "X's mummy punched Y's mummy in the corridor outside the classroom today" . There was a mother there who shaved all her children's hair since they had headlice - she was an alcoholic who couldn't be bothered to treat the nits. I'd cringe when I'd see her hollering at her children, who had no warm clothes in winter, no shoes that fitted.

Other parents sent their children to school with cold Happy Meals in their lunchboxes.

Now, I'm all for diversity, but that, to me, was ridiculous. Yes, there were a few nice parents, but the majority were not the kind of people I'd want to get to know. Many looked like they'd stepped straight off Jeremy Kyle. I had nothing in common with them (apart from a couple who I still keep in touch with).

So, we moved house and schools and the one that DD is at now is lovely. She has great friends, so do I.

So, YANBU. Is there any chance that your DS could go onto the waiting list of another school?

And on that note B i will follow silk and hide the thread !!

P.S I sign on every 2nd monday.... I cant get a job, money is tight.

So stick that in your pipe Scottishmummy.

love you personally thank your acolytes,as if that makes your silly post ok. the more you bang on about chavs less likely the empathy gland secretes on mn

Scottishmummy - do you like AA Gill, you sound like you would?

TROLL......................

do you like clichés and inflammatory statements,seem like you would

I personally like AA Gill... are you always so snitty?

And Frank, no I am not a TROLL thank you.

Why would anyone bother to post about this if it wasnt happening to them, trolls normally go on about ear piercing and fruit shoots and extended breasfeeding. Not feeling unhappy that you have no choice in where your child has started school.

LOL you rock up shouting chav like pat butcher, and call other "snitty" whatever that is

As with many things in life OP, if you don't like it, change it.
Consider HE'ing or private if changing state schools isn't an option.

If you can't change it, then change the way you think about it.
Be less judgy, try to talk to people, get to know them ...they may not be as 'roughneck' as you think they are.

It's up to you.

I understand too, OP.
And I can't believe that there are so many people on this thread pretending that they don't.

Are there no available places at schools further away? I have a dd at a primary school 5 miles outside my catchment area, she moved there at the start of y4 and is thriving. I was unhappy with the original school though, and it seems your issue is related solely to the pupils/parents. You will have to weigh up whether those feelings are stronger than your faith in the education the school provides.

Mn must be full of saintly types who never make judgements of others, or else they are completely blind to it. Cmon ladies, we know the kind of parent the OP is describing. Not to say you would choose to move your children because of it, but surely you understand how the OP has arrived at her assessment of the situation?

Pat Butcher would never shout 'Chav' - she's far too classy.

I'm going to bed. Thank you all of those who got my ishooo.

As it happens, I think Boobalina has hit on something that most people (on MN, if not in RL) don't like to acknowledge - namely that a huge number of people have no choice but to send their children to a school they're overall unhappy with. What an unspeakably crap state of affairs.

It's fine for people who can afford to pay fees (my own solution), and it's fine for people who can afford to move to areas with nice middle-class schools. But I think it's a shocking state of affairs that those are the only real ways to get an education that you're happy with.

All the talk is always about moving into x,y or z catchment area. Nobody ever really acknowledges the people who really, really have no choice but to send their children to school with people who don't give a toss. Blimey, I feel for you, OP.

Isn't it the people who move or pay privately that actually 'create' these ghetto type communities that the OP seems to be alluding to though?