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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

to feel a bit gutted that DS primary school is 80% full of chav roughneck parents....

248 replies

Boobalina · 08/10/2009 21:15

I know I am going to get shot down here but hear me out. DS is in reception at our local school walking distance from our house. Various friends of ours (who all live in nicer parts of the city) children all go to their local schools which are ofsted 'outstanding' and full of middle class parents and kids. Now this is what you get when you cant afford to live in a nicer part of the city I know... but every now and then it really guts me. DS went to a very nice nursery and pre-school close to my work which was a bit posh and DD still goes there. But we couldnt afford to send DS there for primary school. His teachers seem really lovely, and really professional - its just some of the kids and parents there.

I went to a nice village primary school and then ended up going to a rather rough comp after and it did me know harm at all. I just wanted a bit more for my kids and also its hard to make friends with some of the mums when they are screaming at their toddlers, smoking lamberts and comparing lovebites (really!)

I am really jealous of my friends....

and they have bigger houses than us....

pathetic isnt it........

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

silkcut · 08/10/2009 21:45

yabu

fishie · 08/10/2009 21:48

oh boobalina you are aibu by stealth here. i thought you might be, which was why i have been mean.

i live in a place with a fairly transient population. this means that a lot of people don't have much investment in the community - for example there is a lot of litter. but i wouldn't write everyone off without getting to know them. and primary school means that if you are staying in the area you'll be with this lot for years.

i bet you could make some really good friends. got to talk to them.

scottishmummy · 08/10/2009 21:48

you are a right ticket.all presumption and bad attitude

you want a bigger house?shift your lazy arse work work study study.you should try harder

or oh diddums do you not like subjective anecdotal judgements made about you hey but you can dish em out about others

grow up

Original poster

Boobalina · 08/10/2009 21:50

Well arent some of you so grounded and wonderful?

You think you are being all well meaning and right on but all you are doing is crossing your arms, looking down your noses and tut-tutting at me....

OP posts:

Lilyloooohhhh · 08/10/2009 21:50

Holy how would she know what the values are of other parents she judges in the playground ??

FranklyIDontGiveAMam · 08/10/2009 21:50

Yeah I wish I had a big house and good schools near me, but life don't give you what you want. My ds has autism, - bang goes a scholarship fantasy too.

BUT, education is more than 50% about the parents input and involvement anyhow, and manners are manners.

Give your children life skills and they can get any qualification they want.

Stopfighting · 08/10/2009 21:51

Boobalina,

I empathize totally. I can't bear people who like to think they respect every person equally, but deep down would probably feel the same as you.

The OP is not having a go at 'low class' people, it is people who behave in an ignorant trashy way and sadly the number of those people seem to be increasing thanks to poor education, morals and the ease of claiming benifits for life. Sadly, the 'underclass' is a reality. And probably proud to be chavs..

They are, however, not the same as people who perhaps don't have the 'right' accent but are actually lovely decent hard-working people. To look down on them is wrong.

scottishmummy · 08/10/2009 21:53

oh diddums boob you post deriding others but get humphy if anyone has temerity to disagree with you

i see you can judge
but dont like being judged
funny that

HolyBumoley · 08/10/2009 21:55

Well... If for starters: if parents are smoking in the playground, I'd guess that their values aren't the same as hers, lily.

I sometimes think everyone has gone bonkers when it comes to 'judging' other people. It's okay to be judgy if you're getting at anyone who's perceived to be privileged - but not if you're getting at anyone else.

HolyBumoley · 08/10/2009 21:55

Stopfighting - you said what I wanted to say, only far better!

Lilyloooohhhh · 08/10/2009 21:56

Why is that Holy ? if you smoke you can't have values ?

Original poster

Boobalina · 08/10/2009 21:57

As i have said - i do talk to everyone at the school gates so feel justified in making my opinion. I've lived here forabout 7 years so am well aware of the area and the community.

The parents I have made friends with are from all walks actually. And as I pointed out, I went to a rough comp myself and did ok (though not well enough for Madame choccyp1g) and I am used to living amongst all backgrounds all my life.

holeybumoley has understood my point.

OP posts:

scottishmummy · 08/10/2009 21:58

i work with professional v posh parents who smoke like lums

FranklyIDontGiveAMam · 08/10/2009 22:00

This thread is getting odd. Stopfighting have you ever TRIED to claim benefits? What is this 'ease' all about?

And what has smoking got to do with values?

And who is judging people perceived to be priviledged?

Odd thread!

Original poster

Boobalina · 08/10/2009 22:00

scottishmummy - thanks for verbosity show - just the ticket eh?

You seem very good at judging dont you... Mrs judgey pants.

OP posts:

ilovemydogandmrobama · 08/10/2009 22:00

One of the outstanding schools in my area is in a working class area. It was given OFSTED outstanding earlier this year, and had to laugh when I went on a tour last week. Loads of middle class moms were having a look around, and said about a teacher, 'he's a bit rough...'

It was the head teacher.

Lilyloooohhhh · 08/10/2009 22:01

Glad you talk to 'everyone' so you have a well balanced argument for the 80% = chav if they smoke , shout at toddlers or have lovebites

HolyBumoley · 08/10/2009 22:01

No, Lily - but their values may well not coincide with those of people who would consider smoking in the playground to be a no-no. I would personally steer clear of people who shout at their children - not because they don't have values, but because their general outlook isn't the same as mine. I don't imagine they'd much want to be friends with me, either (as I'd be looking down my judgy nose at them, naturally ).

But it's not a working class/middle class thing. Half of my family is as working class as they come, and their values (respect, honesty, hard work, manners) are second to none. But that's very different from Jeremy Kyle fodder. That is in a class of its own.

silkcut · 08/10/2009 22:02

Troll I reckon

fishie · 08/10/2009 22:03

i just don't understand why you would phrase your op in those terms. "chav roughneck parents" is plain nasty.

you could have written it very differently and got a far more sympathetic response. it makes me suspect you did it on purpose to get a reaction.

Original poster

Boobalina · 08/10/2009 22:03

Ok - heres another HONEST question - how do I delete this thread because I wish I have never fucking asked.

Seriously, how do I delete this so I can go to bed in my ivory tower

OP posts:

Spaceman · 08/10/2009 22:04

I agree with you OP! I was in the same boat. I live on an estate and we were down for the local school that no one wanted to go to. It's the only school left in our town that has vacancees!

Anwyay, the only children that do go there are from the families that don't really care about the quality of education their kids get. They are - sorry to be so blunt you're going to hate me - from rough families, and the parent are of a complete different mindset to me.

I believe it is so important to be around people that are similar to you; both for you and your child. I wouldn't want my DD to go to 'posh' private school because I wouldn't be able to relate to that lifestyle either. But on the other hand I wouldn't feel comfortable for my daughter to go home with a friend from school if their parents smoked, had dogs, swore and generally looked slummy like the mums I see going up the road in the morning.

So as it ended up I was determined DD would go to go to another school and we got in somehow. It's great. Normal mums with normal aspirations. What's normal you all say? Well, it's my normal and that's what matters.

HolyBumoley · 08/10/2009 22:04

MN is sometimes not very nice, Boobalina. It's funny how anonymity can bring out the worst (and most judgy-pants-ishness) in people. Not very encouraging, really.

FranklyIDontGiveAMam · 08/10/2009 22:05

I'm not predjudiced gov, some of my best mates are scum working class!

scottishmummy · 08/10/2009 22:05

boob you wrote a derisory post.you are judging others but get twitchy and humphy if disagreed with.hmm how doews that work that you dish it out, but heavens to betsy my dizzy auntie fanny dont disagree with you

diddums

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