DS2 made to fish bottle out of school toilet as punishment

[citylover]

DS2 is in year 2 and he and a friend put a plastic bottle down the toilet, think his friend then went to the toilet, other kids told on them and they were rightly called to account.

As punishment they were made to fish said bottle out of loo (with latex gloves on).

I am really uncomfortable with this type of punishment and have made my concerns known.

In addition my DS has quite serious anxiety issues around using school toilets which I have been trying to overcome over the past few months. The school are aware of these.

My family, and a childless friend think this punishment is fine ("well he won't do it again will he") which made me think perhaps IABU.

However my gut feeling is it isn't the right way of handling it and crosses a line.

He is generally a well behaved child at school - his teacher confirmed this the other night.

Ive just asked dds what would happen if someone stuck a bottle down the loo at school.
DD1 said, it would get covered in Yucky toilet paper..
Ok Ok, Who would get it out?
Who should have to get it out? "Whoever put it down the toilet"

Its is not a punishment. Its getting the bottle out that should NEVER have been put down there in the first place.

Actually I don't have any problemwith it being seen as a punishment and a consequence.

punishment fitted the crime. can't see the problem.

now that mutt's hidden the thread I can say how sad I found it that she refers to a 7 year old as "Poppet", with apparent disdain. I think mockery of children is unnecessary, and rather unkind.

And here I leave you. I am Going Out tonight, to meet some MNers.

I agree, Hatrick. As I said earlier, we do our children no favours by missing the opportunity to teach them that their actions have consequences.

'It is not pleasant to put one's hand into piss. But whereas for an adult, it is (I really do acknowledge) disgusting, for a young child it might (and again, I acknowledge that this is a possibility, not a certainty) be disgusting, humiliating, even traumatizing'.

Actually onebat I think that a child would find fishing the bottle out of the loo a whole lot less disgusting than an adult. A child who pisses about ('scuse the pun) in the school toilets isn't exactly averse to the stink. Most school toilets really do smell dreadful. And most children will happily get a bit mucky.

And why shouldn't the school 'risk upsetting the child' in this case?

I work in school and would be most unhappy about fishing something out of the loo that had been put there purposefully. I have fished out random hair scrunchies and socks .

anyway, look on the positive side: I think we can safely say that your ds's "quite serious anxiety issues around using school toilets" are well and truly overcome

I didn't say that it was a problem to risk upsetting the child. I said it was a problem to risk seriously upsetting a child to a degree beyond the seriousness of the crime. In which noone got hurt and no permanent damage was done.

As someone with a dd who also has issues with toilets and germs, I still think the punishment was absolutly fine.

harpsi, I'm surprised by your

I've just checked with my two (ds7 and dd12) and they both, unprompted said that they thought the people who dropped it in should get it out - and why should anyone else do it. Dd said, with an air of rather more knowledge than I quite care for, that if you put a plastic bottle down the loo and flush the bottle stays floating on the water, so they would be picking it out of clean (ish) water anyway!

I have obviously imbued them with my Victorian values!

I can't believe this thread is still causing so much debate! It seemed to me (and most other contributers) to be so obviously right that I wonder what else there is to say about it.

Nevertheless, reading some of the "in my day" stuff and MB's super bladder has made me desperate to join in again. I love the trips down memory lane! My school's loos were outside and awful in every way described earlier (cold, smelly, loos never flushed, hard tracing paper, yucky liquid soap, paper towels - if there were any, and if there were any, they were usually scattered all over the floor and walls and blocking the sinks.) I can well remember the talks we used to get after someone had mis-used the toilets. They used to run along the lines of "would you do this in the toilet at home?" Still makes me smile now. Anyway, the point is, I would go to the loo in the morning at home and then hold on all day rather than use the loos at school. Each afternoon, I would run up my home drive scattering bags and coat etc behind me in my desperation to reach the loo! Happy days!

(And yes, I still have a huge bladder capacity and could easily last out to lunchtime and beyond even with the endless staffroom cups of tea).

I once had a year three child get his mother in to clear out his tray as he had let an apple go rotton in there. He asked me to put it in the bin and I wouldn't.

I was stunned when she came in to do it. He couldn't put on his own shoes either.

rotten

DG - I am with you. I could last all day too . I have a feeling that I perhaps never drank enough .
Bladder still very very good even after two children . What a thing to be proud of.

I am laughing quite a lot at the idea of a seven year old boy being more squeamish than the average adult. Have you actually met any seven year old boys, OBM?

Got to the bit where onebatmother suggested that the teacher should fish it out, and nearly choked on my drink. Oh really? And why, pray, do you think it should be in my job description to fish out objects thrown into toilets by naughty boys who should know better? Do you not think I've got better things to do, such as actually teaching children, fgs?

I despair, I really do.

Off to check rest of thread to see if you've apologised yet. Jesus.

OBM - I think you have mistaken folks incredulity for anger

Anyhoo. Look, washing mouths out with soap and water is a punishment. Making a child write a 100 lines of "I must not throw bottles down the toilet" is a punishment.

If a child throws litter on the floor - you tell them to pick it up, and put it in the bin, yes? Or no? Is that a punishment? Or, is it correcting a behaviour? Should they have put the litter in the bin in the first place?

So if a child accidentally drops something down the toilet and gets the teacher....well, should they be made to fish it out? I dont know. The teacher/caretaker and child should do it together. If a child drops something down the toilet on purpose - the absolutely should have to fish it out themselves.

I've read all your responses and I understand that you all disagree with me.

you over-punitive scary people

Well you know, punishment fits the crime and all that, seems fair enough. Sorry you are upset about it though.