DS2 made to fish bottle out of school toilet as punishment

[citylover]

DS2 is in year 2 and he and a friend put a plastic bottle down the toilet, think his friend then went to the toilet, other kids told on them and they were rightly called to account.

As punishment they were made to fish said bottle out of loo (with latex gloves on).

I am really uncomfortable with this type of punishment and have made my concerns known.

In addition my DS has quite serious anxiety issues around using school toilets which I have been trying to overcome over the past few months. The school are aware of these.

My family, and a childless friend think this punishment is fine ("well he won't do it again will he") which made me think perhaps IABU.

However my gut feeling is it isn't the right way of handling it and crosses a line.

He is generally a well behaved child at school - his teacher confirmed this the other night.

[snowleopard]

Sorry just noticed VVVQV already pointed that one out!

[citylover]

sorry meant my exh did not like it!

[savoycabbage]

It was not a punishment in my opinion. He put a bottle down the toilet, he gets it out again.

If my 4 year put anything down the loo at home I would make her retrieve it then I would put her on the naughty step!

[DumbledoresGirl]

It sounds a better punishment that the one my son (aged 5) got when he and a friend threw skittles up onto the a flat roof at school. Their punishment was to help the caretaker the next day (turned out to be picking up rubbish). Ds3 kept asking for weeks afterwards when he would be "allowed" to help Mr X again!

[Zazette]

I would really like to know why you wouldn't make him do it at home, please do explain.

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

SL

I have to try and prevent DS from fishing things out of our toilet lately. I dont think I need further explain !

[Boco]

I really can't see a problem, it's not even a punishment really - it's clearing up a mess you've made. Who do you think should have had to fish it out?

And why wouldn't you make him fish it out at home if he put it in the toilet?

[Saggarmakersbottomknocker]

So who should have fished it out, if not the person that put it there?

[onebatmother]

I'm with citylover

I think 7 is too young to be made to do things that may well disgust and properly upset a child.

I think that there is an element of punishment in it, too.

[lulumama]

7 is way old enough to know that throwing a bottle down the loo is wrong.

of course there is an element of punishment, he did something wrong, he has to take the consequences

he was not hurt or endangered in any way, but had to face up to the reality of what he did. i bet he won;t do it again

[charliecat]

If he didnt want to fish the thing out of the loo he shouldnt have bloody well put it in there???!!!!!
Or maybe its because he wasnt aware that actions had consequences that he thought it was such a smart idea in the first place??

[Boco]

But onebat, 7 is also too old to put a bottle in the toilet in the first place - and if he could get over his disgust enough to put it in the toilet, and then his friend piss on it - then I think that's something he needs to deal with.

My dd threw her sister's bracelet into the toilet during an argument, I have her gloves and she got it out. She wasn't keen, but at least she's it's not something she'll do again, believing that I'll fish it out for her.

[Marina]

Agree with others that I am not sure who else should have to clear up after your ds2 citylover
He was clearly not upset by putting the bottle in the loo and watching while his friend either urinated or crapped over it
My son has loo issues too and I'd still expect him to understand how wrong it is to make a mess for someone else to deal with

[louii]

For goodness sake at 7 you know that you should not put a plastic bottle down the loo, my 3 year old knows that.

It is more disgusting to be putting inappropriate things down the toilet in the first place.

[nkf]

It's a perfectly correct punishment/consequence. He put it down, he was told to take it out. He was given gloves to wear. And the teacher told you he wasn't normally naughty. Impeccably handled I would say.

[Marina]

snap boco

[Saggarmakersbottomknocker]

So who should fish it out then onebat? Personally I think it's an appropriate punishment.

[MsDemeanor]

I don't think citylover has said who she thinks should take the bottle out of the loo.

[Marina]

That would be the caretaker, I expect
Who because he or she is not often in evidence to children and parents, is not a real person to be respected, but a magical presence

[citylover]

Ok obm

Minority of 2 then.

DS2 doesn't seem particularly outwardly bothered by it all, tbh. But it's hard to tell with him.

I sort of equate it with things like being forced to eat leftover food, washing mouth out with soap, the 'never did me any harm' school of thought!!

I def do have an issue with it and am clearly out of step with popular opinion but then perhaps I am in other areas too. Interesting!!

[citylover]

Oh that's ridiculous - I know and respect our premises manager he has a very strong presence. Do not have attitude like that - have done cleaning, barwork and the like.