DS2 made to fish bottle out of school toilet as punishment

[citylover]

DS2 is in year 2 and he and a friend put a plastic bottle down the toilet, think his friend then went to the toilet, other kids told on them and they were rightly called to account.

As punishment they were made to fish said bottle out of loo (with latex gloves on).

I am really uncomfortable with this type of punishment and have made my concerns known.

In addition my DS has quite serious anxiety issues around using school toilets which I have been trying to overcome over the past few months. The school are aware of these.

My family, and a childless friend think this punishment is fine ("well he won't do it again will he") which made me think perhaps IABU.

However my gut feeling is it isn't the right way of handling it and crosses a line.

He is generally a well behaved child at school - his teacher confirmed this the other night.

[taokiddy]

Citylover I agree with you! I think this is unreasonable and I would not be happy if it were my son.

[RusselBrussel]

Children need to be taught the consequences of their actions. The fact that so few parents seem to realise this has led to the problems society is now facing.
I cannot believe some of you think this is an inappropriate punishment.
What was inappropriate was putting the bottle in the toilet in the first place. The punishmennt was a direct consequence, and rightly so!

[edam]

Those of you who think a 7yo should be allowed to chuck a plastic bottle in the loo and leave it there - what on earth do you think should have happened? Who are you expecting to pull the bottle out, exactly? Any why should they have to stick their hands down the loo?

He was lucky he was given gloves rather than just being told to wash his hands thoroughly afterwards IMO.

[unknownrebelbang]

I would expect my child to fish it out had he chucked the bottle down the toilet.

[TheFallenMadonna]

I think MB has hit the nail on the head really.

It's about how we treat other people as much as anything else.

I've lost count of the times children have airily told me that the cleaners will pick up their rubbish because "that's what they're paid to do". Not a pleasant attitude.

[Blandmum]

for all the people who think this punishment is unreasonable, a message from my mother, 'You are making a rod for your own backs!'

[TheProvincialLady]

Yes but not just a rod for their own backs, but ours too unfortunately.

[OomphreyCushion]

I'm with the school on this one.



In my day the child wouldn't have been given gloves.

And the headteacher would have chosen the two best spellers in the class, and instructed them to defecate on the bottle before the bottle-foisting child was made to remove it from said lavatory.

With his teeth.

Littlecitylover got off lightly.

[Blandmum]

and the spellers would have been given a curry to eat first.....

(you did make me LOL humph)

[TheProvincialLady]

and the toilets would have been outide (ours were) and you would have had to break the ice on top with the cutlery you were about to use for lunch before you could get to the turd/bottle treat.

Oh I love reminiscing

[Blandmum]

Oh yes, outside loos.

You are taking me back.

there was none of this running off to bugger about in the loos when I were a nipper, it was to farking cold for starters, and you'd get very wet getting there.

Loo breaks were for the desperate in those days.

I'm sure this is why I go before work and then can usually cope till lunch time before the 'need' arises

[edam]

Ours were too, Provincial - did you have shiny paper, as well?

Kids today, huh, don't know they are born.

[Blandmum]

izal

'now wash your hands please'

See, now we'd have to have, 'Now wash your hands please and don't throw anything down the toilet, or we will have to have stern words with you'

[TheProvincialLady]

Well I wouldn't say our loo paper was shiny but I still have a scarred anus mind from the experience.

[BreeVanderCampLGJ]

It was great for tracing stuff.

[ReallyTired]

Thirty years ago your child would have been given the cane as well as being made to take the bottle out the toilet. Its good that we have moved on as a society.

I think the punishment was proportionate to the misdeed and the age of the child. He won't do it again.

Sadly many children see support staff as minions who deserve no respect.

[ReallyTired]

What punishment would you think is suitable?

Or do you not believe in disciplining your child in anyway?

[Blandmum]

Oh yes, cast iron bladder me, thanks to 2 C sections and the rigors of the school loos

Made me the woman I am today.

[CaptainUnderpants]

Like the majority on here totally agree iwth the school .

I would be interested to hear how the OP dealt with her DS after finding out that he had done this ?

DS will proably now think that whenever he gets into trouble Mummy will come and bail him out and stand up for him !

What 'line' does the punishment eaxctly cross OP ? and what 'punishment ', if any, do you think they should have given him ?

[MarsLady]

No apologies here but I completely agree with the school's decision. For each action there is a consequence. He's 7. At what age should he start taking responsibility for his actions? 11? 15? 21?

All 5 of my children know this and even the 4yo DTs know and accept that there are consequences. And how thankful am I that I've made sure to teach them that. I can't abide those children who say... "well that's not my job". How anyone can think it's inappropriate saddens me.

[Blandmum]

[MrsSnape]

I agree with the "punishment". I have made DS fish stuff out of the toilet at home when he has had similar moments of sillyness....infact come to think of it, it only happened once

[FAQ]

Totally agree with teh school.

Actions have consequences.

Even my DS2 (4 1/2yrs) knows that - he's been toilet trained (and wiping his own arse bottom) for ages now.

So when a few months go I went into the bathroom after him and found crp streaked up the walls he* was given the wipes and told to clean it up (as he knows that you don't wipe poo over the walls). I must add I did go and clean it up more thoroughly after he'd made his attempt. But he's not done it since.

If (for some reason) my DS1 (also 7 and in YR2) came home from school and told me the same tale of what had happened and I'd be going into the school and thanking them.