school overstepping ?

[cax]

So my daughter is due to start reception in September, she is currently at private nursery. I have just found out that the school have arranged for someone from the school to visit my child at her nursery, i have not had the school she will be attending call or email me to ask if this is ok and the nursery have not contacted me to ask if this would be ok there end etc…. i’m feeling a little irritated that i have not been informed or asked if this was ok, of course it would have been if i had been asked as i understand why they do this, but to not even be in the loop of what is happening with my child has left me a little upset and i want to make a complaint but first want to make sure i’m not overreacting to the situation, any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

I think the hard thing might be that when your child is a baby you are their whole world and you literally know everything about them.
Then as get bigger they start to go to the child minder, then preschool/nursery, and gradually you realise they have their own life that you know fewer and fewer of the details.
It does feel hard when you realise childhood is about your baby becoming gradually independent, and there are constant reminders about it!
This may be the first shock but it won't be the last... Take care.

@crumblingschools yep ! That's exactly the typical conversation all primary parents have once had 😂

Honestly, this is common practice and I genuinely feel sorry for the teachers if this is how your starting your child’s journey.

I was the visitor with the awesome stuff in my own DC's primary school classroom. I watched him fully engaged and having a great time.

Picked them up at end of day:
"How was school?"
"Alright"
"Anything exciting?"
"Not really"
🤣 🤣 🤣

Well I'm with you op. Of course school should inform you when they are going to go and visit your dc in another setting! I can't believe all the posts saying it is normal behaviour. Wtf are teachers thinking. Surely a generic 'your dc will be visited in their nurseries at some point' isn't too much to expect?

Gosh, is this ^^ truly what happens nowadays? I'd never heard of teachers visiting nurseries, either, but I am an OAP now so it probably didn't happen when I was that age, but the thought of primary schools doing home visits to every single child who is transferring to their school seems extremely odd to me!

You're overreacting. I don't see how you think this would be overstepping. Do you expect to be given the opportunity to consent or refuse every visitor to nursery or school when she attends there?
The only time you would need to know would be if it was a specific 1:1 with your child for assessments from an agency such as social services, educational psychology etc.

Not exactly sure why you're finding it hard to believe. What would the purpose of knowing be, it's really not really that big of a deal.

Haven't you posted about this the other week?

You know, I think it's one of the loveliest things about primary school actually. I remember being wowed by seeing photos of them doing intersting things I didn't know they'd done and hearing their teacher mention things at parents' evening etc. It made me feel kind of proud that they had this interesting little life of their very own that was completely separate from me, that I was unaware of, but that they took part in with enthusiasm. Because that's part of successful parenting, isn't it? That they're happy without you. You have to let them go.

@cax I think we are all being a bit rotten to you now. This is a big change in your life.
My daughter started primary in the nursery class. 3 years old, 3 hours a day.
It was the first time she had ever not been with me or another family member or close friend.
It was a very strange feeling to know she was literally across the road (I live next to the school) but I didn't know what she was doing at that exact moment.
I think that wore off fairly quickly though (but did come back at the start of secondary).
It's normal to have these feelings. Big changes ahead and it is an emotional time 💐

She's her dd! She is in a private nursery. School should inform parents that they are visiting their kids out of a school setting. It is courtesy if nothing else.

The teacher may just be talking to the nursery staff rather than spending one to one time with the children, so the children might not even notice

So why is the school getting all of the blame, why isn't the OP cross at the lack of communication from the nursery she's paying for her child to attend? It just seems like another reason to find fault with schools.

This. Your expectations are rather strange.

Why would you not want this to happen.

You’re being quite frankly over dramatic. No one is going to tell you every tiny interaction that goes on. Surely your response should be O wow that’s lovely her teachers have made time in their extremely busy schedules to meet my child in their current setting. Most school try and do this, I’d imagine the only time it would be necessary to inform a parent us if the child dose not go to a childcare setting and the teacher was doing a home visit.

Some schools may or may not outline this in their welcome letters. By all means make a complaint and be that parent that the teachers are dreading going forward.

I’m a teacher. This is standard practice and part of transition.

I agree with the OP.

It is a simple courtesy to be informed of this in advance.

In fact, in the area where I work (overlap between health and education) we would need to seek explicit parental consent for such a visit to take place.

Glad to hear there are some good examples out there and that it is at least included in school leadership level education.

I can only go on what I’ve experienced at several primary schools, the very similar experiences of friends, the many posts on MN lamenting poor communication and the somewhat dismissive attitude towards communication issues by primary school teachers I know. But based on all that, I really do think you’re an outlier in this.

What do you mean 'wtf are they thinking'?!

What kind of nefarious reasons do you think they have for doing this? What a very weird worldview.

It isn't all about you. They are doing it for your child so that they have an easier transition. Nothing for you to feel irritated about.

Is perfectly normal for this to happen. And she not someone , a stranger, she's your child's new teacher who your child has met before.
Even the year 6 kids will be visited in their primaries by their head of year, which is also normal.

I think you should have been told. But it isn't a big deal.

When my daughter was doing P1 transition, we had a list of dates and visits, none of which we were involved in but we did know about all the meetings. I find it hard to believe that nursery haven't informed you of this. I think it's on them to send the group email rather than school