school overstepping ?

[cax]

So my daughter is due to start reception in September, she is currently at private nursery. I have just found out that the school have arranged for someone from the school to visit my child at her nursery, i have not had the school she will be attending call or email me to ask if this is ok and the nursery have not contacted me to ask if this would be ok there end etc…. i’m feeling a little irritated that i have not been informed or asked if this was ok, of course it would have been if i had been asked as i understand why they do this, but to not even be in the loop of what is happening with my child has left me a little upset and i want to make a complaint but first want to make sure i’m not overreacting to the situation, any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

OP.

As someone the other end of education with a teen with asd/adhd in college, there are going to be SO many meetings, and interventions and other things that the schools will do with your kid for their best interest and support, especially during transitions between schools, that you really are going to need to just take a breath.

By all means, bring up that you'd like to be kept in the loop as much as possible, and build a GOOD relationship with the school, but please don't get off on the wrong foot by complaining straight out the gate before your child as even started there.

I remember they started doing this when I was in school about 20 years ago, and my school was always a bit behind with the times as well.

I am not sure how the OP thinks schools will service the level of communication they require. Wouldn’t you rather the school was focusing on your child’s education than sending you pointless emails saying: today we are going to do times tables. Just checking that’s ok with you.

You have clearly missed the point, 🙄

Imo they should tell parents but they don't. I have 2 adopted daughters who were terrified of new people dropping in unannounced to see them - it reminded them of social workers. No one would listen to me - until they saw what happened that is! The trauma response was horrendous. We got apologies but the damage was done.

Hi, I just saw that your child has additional needs. So actually sometimes the school needs to consider that you do need more communication than other parents.

My son is ASD and something happened at school - they were planning to mix up classes for the next year and asked the children in the lesson who are their friends etc to help.

Parents were told after. My son was really upset and didn't understand what has going on.

I did advocate that as his parent I did need to know about this ahead of time to support him. They accepted this.

So while this might not be the best one to complain about - if you feel that for your child you do need to know more - then you should do so

I just think of that song from Frozen - Let it Go. People would be a lot happier if they forgave people, especially teachers in busy schools, rather than enjoying faux outrage on Mumsnet.

And yes, parents with children with SEND do need more communication and advance warning. But you also have to appreciate that SEND is becoming almost unmanageable for schools - between looking after children’s needs and dealing with parents who are hypersensitive to the mildest error.