school overstepping ?

[cax]

So my daughter is due to start reception in September, she is currently at private nursery. I have just found out that the school have arranged for someone from the school to visit my child at her nursery, i have not had the school she will be attending call or email me to ask if this is ok and the nursery have not contacted me to ask if this would be ok there end etc…. i’m feeling a little irritated that i have not been informed or asked if this was ok, of course it would have been if i had been asked as i understand why they do this, but to not even be in the loop of what is happening with my child has left me a little upset and i want to make a complaint but first want to make sure i’m not overreacting to the situation, any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

@cax school is different.
You will get feedback and parents evening etc.
You will probably have a "welcome to the school" pack which will tell you what they will be learning and some resources to help at home, what day is PE, the school meal menu etc.
Once a term you might get invited to an assembly.
But unless a specific incident happens (got glue in hair/too late to the toilet/fell out with Sarah over who's turn it was with the Lego and there were tears) - you don't get told about their day.

So, you understand why they do this and wouldn't have objected ( to what?) if you had known.
Non event then

we have already had the introduction visit she has met her teacher and i'm just irritated that i wasn't informed this would be taking place it would take 2 seconds to write a group email to all parents to say hey a heads up we will be visiting your child's school to watch them... so cool i know what's going on with my child, i feel like this is too much to ask

But why do you need to know? It's literally not impacted you or your child in any way by you not knowing? Are you going to expect an email for every little thing at school?

i don't need to know every little detail but would like to be kept in the loop if someone was visiting her without my knowledge

Surely you should be questioning why the nursery hasn’t told you, not the school.

Don’t be ridiculous, this is totally normal

This is completely normal. Nurseries do a hand over and teachers visit in nursery school setting. There’s going to be a lot that happens in your dc life that you went know about. My dc once had a farmer bring sheep and a sheep dog into the school field for the dc to watch… none of my 3 dc mentioned it. Another parent did a week later so I asked them and they were like “oh yes, the sheep were really cool”. I’m still not exactly clear what happened.

Out of interest OP, would you be feeling differently if
a) the teacher visited the nursery to talk to the staff and they happened to say “Oh, X is playing over their in the yellow hat”
b) the teacher visited the nursery to talk to the staff and quietly observed DD interacting with her friends
c) the teacher visited the nursery and interacted with DD in a small group
d) the teacher visited the nursery and interacted with DD individually

Do you know what level of interaction it was? Is that the issue, or is it that the teacher was on site at all?

I was the school teacher making the visit to the local providers.

As above, it gave me chance to be with the group of children joining us, in their familiar setting and with their familiar staff.

The group were aware of my band and could choose to play with/near me or not. No more than a ‘face to name’ at that stage.

I could see the child in their familiar space, how they play and interact usually.

I could chat to the staff at the provider, find out the child interests and needs.

One little boy loved trains. I saw him with his trains, we played with his trains, his staff members talked about his trains.
When I met his parents after my visit but before he visited school, they were so worried that he wouldn't settle with us.
So, for his first visit to the reception class, I made sure the train track was set up, I greeted him and showed him the train, he played happily.
When he started school in September I repeated this, he was also in the ‘train’ group, with a train badge.

He had no issues at all starting school. That little bit of time with him and detail about his interests made all the difference.

His parents were delighted with his start at school.

Did you ask the nursery what the procedure was for the transition. Tbh it's surprising you haven't had communication at some point, via usual channels in use for you. When termly newsletters are emailed, monthly round ups sent & daily digital updates & provided, I could rip my hair out when parents say, 'I didn't know it was a 2pm finish/needed pack lunch/it's an in service day tmo etc etc etc'.

I'm a teacher and I had been teaching for a decade before my own child started school and I still found it strange when she started school and I didn't know every single thing that was happening in her life anymore.

They might not tell the parents because some parents would tell their children and the children might be worried or excited or whatever and the teacher just wants to see them how they are.

It's more likely though that it's just arranged at a time that's convenient and it has not crossed anyone's mind that the parents would want to know.

You are sounding rather silly now. It has been explained that this is a normal part of the process of transitioning from nursery to school. There is nothing to complain about.

@cax primary schools have visits from people all the time.
You usually won't be told in advance and unless your child tells you - you won't know half the time.
Is your daughter the only child from her nursery going to that school? If yes then it would have felt like the visit was "for her" - but really it was just a teacher visiting a nursery. Not a one on one interrogation to analyse your child.

Hi it's not the fact they will be interacting with her we have already visited school met her teacher had a chat etc it's the fact i wasn't notified i'm finding it a little hard to deal with, i don't expect to be kept in the loop about what she gets up to, but i do expect to be kept in the loop before she actually is under there care if that makes sense.

With school you get a couple of meetings a year (if lucky) with your child's teacher, an end of year report and a more general newsletter termly - get used to it now or you are going to be very disappointed

No, it doesn't make sense.

The fact that's she's already met her teacher makes this overreaction even weirder.

I'm glad it's not just me. I honestly can't understand why the OP is annoyed

OP you will have a long 12 years of schooling ahead of you if this is the attitude you have

You will not get notified of every visitor coming in

This is standard procedure. This week some of our Y6 children were visited by staff from their new secondary schools; our reception class had a visit from a local author. Last week our KS1 classes had a visit from a fire safety officer. Parents wouldn’t have known about any of these in advance.
You’re going to have to learn to trust the school - your child is going to be there for 7 years unless you move them.

This is to see your child in a familiar environment - very common for primary schools to do this

It's not just 'someone' though. I'm assuming it's her teacher? You say they've already met? So what on Earth is the big deal? They clearly don't see it as something which needs to be built up into a massive thing. It's just a relaxed, informal drop in.

As many others have said, school is very different to nursery. With nursery you are paying for a service. As part of that service, you get many blow by blow updates about your child's every move whilst in their care. Unless going private, you are not paying your child's school. Their job is to educate her, not to pander to you. Good schools do their best to build a positive relationship with parents but honestly you sound like you're expecting too much. The fact your first thought on this is "should I complain?" speaks volumes. You're going to get a reputation as a nightmare parent before she event starts if you do. Let it go and learn to chill out about such things. Be glad her school are so invested in getting to know her.

Honestly this board blows by mind at times.

Are you the parent who posted about this before? You sound like her. You were annoyed as you were lying to your child and didn’t want her to know she’d be changing schools after the summer, and now she knows after the visit. Yabu

OhcantthInkofaname · Today 20:30
I'm in the US and this seems strange.

Perfectly normal in the UK. Was when our first was little in the 90s.

Have you posted about this before, OP? Either way, don’t be “that” parent.