school overstepping ?

[cax]

So my daughter is due to start reception in September, she is currently at private nursery. I have just found out that the school have arranged for someone from the school to visit my child at her nursery, i have not had the school she will be attending call or email me to ask if this is ok and the nursery have not contacted me to ask if this would be ok there end etc…. i’m feeling a little irritated that i have not been informed or asked if this was ok, of course it would have been if i had been asked as i understand why they do this, but to not even be in the loop of what is happening with my child has left me a little upset and i want to make a complaint but first want to make sure i’m not overreacting to the situation, any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Our lead EYFS teacher has visited nearly all of the nurseries feeding into our school this year over the last few weeks. For her to email all 120 parents of the new starters, telling them when she’s coming in would have taken ages, even with a group email, she’d still have to have (and type in!) all the parental emails (half haven’t even returned the forms yet). She’s still trying to teach a class of 30 (and prepare for sports day, an assembly, assessments plus write all their reports) and that is a completely unnecessary level of workload.

I think it’s best to assume that yes, a teacher will almost certainly visit preschools prior to pupils starting school and yes, a secondary teacher will probably visit local primaries to see new Y6s coming their way.

We are just doing our visits now .You should be pleased that the school wants to know as much as possible about your child to help her transition.

Good god, I've heard it all now. Why would it not be ok? This is something that schools routinely do FOR YOUR CHILD'S SAKE, to make settling into school a bit easier for them. Do you question everything good and useful that's done for your child by other professionals, that takes time and effort?

The teacher will go there to chat to the nursery staff briefly about each child, where they are at developmentally, if they're likely to need extra help with anything, look at how they are socially, any friendship issues. They're not going to do a Gestapo style interview in a separate room with your child with no nursery staff present. For most schools there will be a few children attending the same nursery. They've got to visit the nurseries of 30 children and they also have 30 Reception children back at school waiting for them, and a million and one things to do before schools break up in a few weeks, just be bloody grateful your child's getting such great attention and preparation for school.

So you are in for a big shock when they start school - you won’t know what they did , what they had for lunch - did they leave all the vegetables .

Tbh the least interaction means that things are going well .

its a big change . There will be many visitors to school and nursery for that matter you won’t be informed about .

If you complain about something completely normal you will be labelled that parent before your dc starts .

Are there other children from nursery going - they often ask about friendship groups - children who don’t get on - the side of your child you don’t see . It is a much better setting to see a child than / home or school as they aren’t settled in school and behave differently at home .

You are entering a period of transition, where you will find you don’t know everything that goes on in your dc’s life. It seems strange at first. Teachers work incredibly hard, long hours. So no, they won’t be adding to workload to tell parents every little detail of their child’s day.

Why would you need a “heads up”?

Presumably they want to talk to children who haven’t been coached for the session by their parents: pretty sure this would happen in some cases.

Your child will not be under the care of the teacher. They are a visitor and will be chaperoned by nursery staff.

God please don't turn into 'that parent'. It will be a longggggg what 13/14 years of schooling for you and DC.

Don't jump the gun at everything. There is always a reason.

You are right about paying for a service and also smaller adult/child ratios.

I had to work on parent expectation of school. A small group expected that we should complete a daily diary for their child, including all learning, time outside, toilet times, snack and lunch.

I reminded them that the ratio was 1 teacher to 30 children - and yes I could write a daily diary for every one of the thirty children but I would have to replace daily diary writing with teaching their child to read and count.

They amended their expectations.

I was that teacher for every child that came into my key stage (slightly different setting).

I never knew heard of a parent complaining about not being told.

It's really important to see a child in their present setting. They're at their most comfortable, you see them interact with staff and peers, you get to talk to their key worker about how they are in nursery and any quirks or anxieties.

I'm struggling to understand why you think you needed to know. It would have made no difference to anyone.

It's a normal thing OP, I didn't realise my daughters teacher had visited her nursery until afterwards. My first thought was oh that's lovely that they go to the effort of visiting all the new children and trying to make the transition as smooth as possible, didn't even cross my mind to complain.

Please remember that teachers do this year in, year out. They do it because it’ helps them get to k ow how each child is likely to settle, how to provide for each child in the school setting, get the right resources. Nursery already know your child and how they behave and separate from carers. Chn are different in these settings than when they are with their parents. More than likely other chn at the nursery will also be at the school so often it’s more than one child that they come to observe and understand.

I'm really confused, if no one has told you that this is happening then how on earth do you know that its happening? Someone must've told you?

Yes but you’ve said they visited the nursery - do you honestly expect to be told if staff from a school your child doesn’t currently attend visit the nursery that she does? My question was would your reaction be different in those different scenarios. Sounds like it wouldn’t be.

You are easily confused then. Presumably her child can talk.

Both my sons reception teachers visited our home before they started. Whilst I believe the intention is to meet the children in a familiar setting, I also believe they do it to check the circumstances of the family and the state of the home.

They'll never say that but regardless, I completely agree with it.

I wouldn’t call it over reach so much as poor communication. YANBU to think the nursery should keep you informed of outside visitors or visits of any sort. Children that young are often unreliable narrators and communication from their nursery or school outlining changes from regular routine are important, especially when they are around an big life event for the child (such as moving settings).

However, you should probably get used to it. In my experience, child care settings and especially primary schools are atrocious at communication with parents. Good communication (presumably outside the narrow confines of the classroom itself) does not seem to figure in training and few school staff, even at senior levels, recognize the role of wider communication skills and strategies in organizational success. I would blame this on the current crisis in education, which does put ridiculous stress on staff, but it’s always been the case.

I would be surprised if the DD mentioned it. It's such a non-event. In fact there's a very good chance they didn't even realise the visitor was there to see them.

If they don't visit the preschool then they visit the home. With younger siblings and a messy house it was much easier for me when the school said they were going to the preschool. They saw dd in a familiar environment but interacting with her peers. As she was the only one going from her preschool she felt special as her new teacher came specially to meet her. We were able to then discuss that school would be a little like preschool but she would get to stay and play all afternoon too.

Unfortunately you need to get used to the lack of communication. You are not truly a primary school parent until you have rustled up a toga and a Roman chariot at 9pm at night.

Agreed. I suspect another parent mentioned it would be happening soon as she's had a child already start at the school so done it before. Although she probably mentioned it as casual conversation and wouldn't have bothered if she'd known the OP would be so weird about it.

Ladies and gentlemen

I present to you yet another thread of why people are leaving the teaching profession in droves.

I’m really confused - why are you still upset OP, now you know that this is completely standard and there’s no need to feel narked? If everyone was sat here going, ‘no, we were definitely told the school were visiting ahead of time’, I’d understand. But you seem to be doubling down on your annoyance instead!

Yes, I do find this unusual. It wasn't done when my children started school in the late 2000s and my own school doesn't do it. Personally I don't see the need and I see it as beyond the remit of a school teacher. I mean, did the nursery staff do a home visit for every new starter they had too?

As a parent myself I wouldn't have liked this - it WOULD have felt like it was overstepping a boundary. It also doesn't give a true picture of a child, all it tells you is how the child behaves in his/her home environment. EVERYONE, even adults, are different and more "themselves" in their home environment. Everyone has a "public face" where they are not as relaxed as at home. Children at school will be in an entirely different environment, with a different set of rules and expectations and behaviours from home so I don't see the point at all other than to judge a parent's housekeeping or parenting skills.

If the child doesn't attend any nursery at all, then fair enough, a home visit is necessary instead of a nursery visit.

When our first child was starting 'big school' we attended the new Parents' evening, even though OH worked in the school, and the Head asked parents to think before they automatically believed everything their child said about what happened at school, 'We don't automatically believe what they say happens at home either!'.

This is completely normal. You've clearly now been informed of this. The school don't have to ask permission to visit your child's nursery and I'm sure your child isn't the only one going from that setting.