Angry about class split

[Annlenna]

My son’s school school is splitting the Y1 classes next year and just found out he has been split from his two close friends and most of his other friends. My son hasn’t found out yet but I’m absolutely devastated.

I do understand the school have their own criteria but, as a mum, I’m looking out for my son and I firmly believe this is not going to benefit him. We already struggled with school at the start of Reception so really don’t want to go back to him begging not to go to school.

I’m planning of requesting a meeting with the school to discuss so any tips on how to approach it with the school? Anyone managed to make the school change their mind?

The first time that happened to me I went straight into the Head teacher and they moved him
And they never tried it again

Probably didn't pay much attention to who is where.

Kids need to learn to get on with others they don't know so well and it's part of building social skills and self confidence. It's your job to support him through the change.

Don't be that parent

This. It's normal.

Why?

Maybe the other parents have requested their children to be moved away from yours? Just a thought ....

It’s not just done on friendships - it’s often decided on ability, social skills etc. Our class had it recently in prep for next year. One of my DC’s friends is staying “down” while most of the rest of the friendship group is going “up”. His mum has absolutely kicked off about it, spoken to the teachers, taken it to the head, everything. But they have said no. The kid can’t read as well as the others and has some social issues (anxiety) and acts really naughty at times, so he’s just not ready. It is what it is. At primary they have 3 breaks a day to play with their friends and they do a lot of trips, activities etc as a year group so it’s not really something to die on a hill over. He’ll make new friendships anyway. Don’t make a big deal just trust the professionals and let it be.

They never tried it again…..

what did you think they were trying to do?! They usually have pretty good reasons for mixing classes up, they don’t just do it for the sake of it.

It's a complicated process and some parents have so little understanding of what school involves in real life that there is no pleasing some. Your DS will have relationships in the other group, possibly deemed more positive than the friends parents think are important. Just trust in the process, it's NEVER moving 'up' or 'down' as some clueless people think.

Be whatever kind of parent you want OP. You worry about your child missing his friends that’s not unreasonable.

Approach the HT and ask why your DS has been allocated into the class they have. However be prepared for hearing things you may not want to hear.

One of the parents at DD2s school demanded her child be reallocated into my DDs class and was given her wish. She's known as "that parent". DDs class teacher ended up refusing to deal with her. Both child and parent have caused endless issues.

Throughout both my kid's primary years, they only mixed up one year group the once (my son's reception class going into y1) once. I believe it was because they had a high number of SEN children in the one class and needed to redress the balance across the 3 classes. They all survived, made new friendships and still got to see the friends they already had.

I'd approach it with "I'm concerned about DS being split from his supportive friendship group next year, could you please let me know the reasoning for the separation" and listen to what they say.
Take it from there.
FWIW, we were in a primary that for various (legit) reasons reshuffle the classes every year. We lucked out sometimes, we missed out sometimes. We just ran with it. I did talk about form changes for my 13 year old tho. And school had him moved by the end of the day, as the bullying reasons to move him were far greater than their reasons for putting him there. He didn't go back to the form he was moved from tho.

You don't make the decisions at school.

I wouldn’t dream of making a fuss about this. Children need to learn to navigate these situations & they make new friends. Parents these days are just so demanding. It must be exhausting for schools.

You say he's been split up from most of his friends.

Therefore it sounds like he is with some friends.

Your child will cope absolutely fine unless he picks up on your utter devastation.
He can still see his friends out of class (when he won't be playing with them anyway) and he'll get to know some others.

Not your decision

My dd was put in the different half of the the year by request of her best friend's mum.
She herself reckons she would have done better at school had she not messed around in class with her mate, so decided her dd must be the same.
My dd made new friends, they drifted apart, having been friends since day 1 of primary.
My dd did above average in her GCSE's whilst her old friend scraped by with 4's.
So much for her mother's interfering 😁

Change doesn't always have to be detrimental. Put a good spin on it for your son.

This made me laugh. Reminded me of the playground.

Did you, aye ?!

Why what?

This.

Parents don’t get to dictate this stuff. Children will have been allocated based on a variety of factors and there simply isn’t the capacity or need to consult with each parent on their preferences. Children need to learn resilience and understand that they’re not the centre of the universe to succeed in the real world.

Teachers are professionals who have been appointed to their roles based on their training, skills and experience. They should be allowed to carry out their roles without having to constantly deal with the demands of needy parents projecting their own insecurities onto their children.

No wonder teachers are leaving the profession in droves. The class moves will have been discussed in depth, quite possibly in unpaid time. Then along come the unsupportive parents.

A local primary school will have four unfilled posts in September. I know one of the teachets leaving next week (do work in another profession). It's not the children, it's not Ofsted, it's not the long hours of planning at weekend. It is, to quote "the shitty parents who think they know more than us."

Sorry you're getting a lot of shitty replies OP. There are a lot of people on MN who seem to think you should passively accept being treated like utter crap by schools. FWIW they seem to think teachers should accept being treated badly as well so I can only think they work for the Department for Education.

As a teacher I would be happy to explain any genuine reasons for this class reshuffle to a concerned parent and reassure you, and if it's an oversight I'd rather it was brought to my attention so I could look into what we could do to mitigate the situation.

They'll have had their reasons for the class selections. Are the classes at capacity? If so, them moving him will impact other children too.