Page 7 | Angry about class split

Annlenna · 2023-07-13T17:09:59+00:00

My son’s school school is splitting the Y1 classes next year and just found out he has been split from his two close friends and most of his other friends. My son hasn’t found out yet but I’m absolutely devastated. I do understand the school have their own criteria but, as a mum, I’m looking out for my son and I firmly believe this is not going to benefit him. We already struggled with school at the start of Reception so really don’t want to go back to him begging not to go to school. I’m planning of requesting a meeting with the school to discuss so any tips on how to approach it with the school? Anyone managed to make the school change their mind?

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SamPoodle123 · 02/08/2023 09:44

Seashor · 22/07/2023 19:21

I never seat friends together or allow them to work together anyway, so it makes absolutely no difference in my class if friends are placed together.

It makes a difference in our school, as classes have separate field trips and sometimes enter lunch at different times...meaning you do not get to spend lunch with your friend. Or class trips.

babybopella · 02/08/2023 09:46

I’ve had 4 kids go through primary, and this has been done to all of them, and all of them have been split from friends. It turned out to be the best thing for them. It’s not a big deal, they make new Friends and also can play with the other friends at break times. It’s honestly not a big deal. Although I do remember my first child going through it and I felt the same as you, so I get it. But I’ve got 2 more kids to go through it and it doesn’t cross my mind anymore as I know they will be fine.

TizerorFizz · 02/08/2023 11:30

@SamPoodle123 There are opportunities outside school for friendships to flourish and, within school, new ones develop. The bigger issue is some Dc getting to stay together for years whilst others are separated routinely for no obvious reason. That’s not seen as fair by most parents whose Dc are split away ftom
friends. It’s not about working groups within school, it’s about perceived fairness.

SamPoodle123 · 02/08/2023 14:56

TizerorFizz · 02/08/2023 11:30

@SamPoodle123 There are opportunities outside school for friendships to flourish and, within school, new ones develop. The bigger issue is some Dc getting to stay together for years whilst others are separated routinely for no obvious reason. That’s not seen as fair by most parents whose Dc are split away ftom
friends. It’s not about working groups within school, it’s about perceived fairness.

Yup, I agree. Totally not fair. My dd got split up from close friends many times and yet certain kids were allowed to stay together and never separated all of primary....really odd!! If you separate some, separate all!

cansu · 02/08/2023 15:29

Kids will be split for a variety of reasons which means some will end up with friends whilst others don't. I doubt it is on purpose!
Academic ability ie to balance class so that the two two classes are equal.
Mix of abilities in terms is spirt, behaviour, creativity, SEND
avoiding certain combinations of children who don't get on or who behave badly together.
Mix of genders etc etc

TizerorFizz · 02/08/2023 19:14

@cansu No. it’s about the power of some parents vs others.

PinkIcedCream · 02/08/2023 19:59

Definitely speak to the Head and ask them if he can be moved to be with his friends.

In my experience of raising issues with the teachers, it's always led to a positive outcome.

I'm always amused by the minority of posters on here who care more about their perceived
status with the teaching staff than ensuring their child enjoys a positive experience at school.

Uremindmeofthebabe · 02/08/2023 20:12

Maybe certain kids that are close friends that end up staying together work well together?

If you kid is getting split from their best friend then I'd say there's a problem. Maybe the other child's parent has requested it.

Original poster

Annlenna · 02/08/2023 22:33

Here is the update for those asking:
I spoke to the teacher and the head teacher and they assured me they had no specific reason to split them and that it just worked out that way. They didn’t anticipate any issues and said they would keep an eye him to ensure he is happy in September BUT that they will not be making any changes under any circumstances now that the classes have been announced.
In all honesty I’m still not happy and it all seems really unfair to me but unless he is genuinely unhappy come September it doesn’t look like I can do anything about it. So we’ll just have to wait and see…

OP posts:

entitledparents · 02/08/2023 23:04

One of my children was mixed twice. Once never was. The first had a much better experience overall as the whole year group knew each other. The one who was never mixed ended up in a really cliquey bitchy class by Yr5/6

UsingChangeofName · 02/08/2023 23:46

Thank you for coming back to update.

It really is what everyone was telling you though - no school is going to change the classes because a parent has got themselves upset about it.

minipie · 02/08/2023 23:50

I honestly think that your own reaction will have a big influence on how your son reacts.

I have a friend who is very vocally disappointed with how a class reshuffle worked out for her daughter, keeps going on about it and trying to keep the old group alive (eg birthday party invited all old classmates no new ones) … surprise, her dd hasn’t really settled in the new class and now often plays on her own. If she’d presented it as a positive and encouraged her dd to try out the new classmates I think it would have been so much better for her DD.

TizerorFizz · 03/08/2023 07:22

I think it’s quite sad to be forced to drop friends though. When they move classes around, I don’t see why a child cannot have at least one friend in a class with them. Obviously if they have only one friend they need to be encouraged to have more, but being singled out and told to get on with it never goes down well.

Also I note the Head didn’t give reasons for the decisions made. I hope the DS settles in Sept and do agree the only way forward is to keep positive.

entitledparents · 03/08/2023 08:10

I find it odd that they say no specific reason. Schools mix classes for a number of reasons to improve the balance for all. They don't do it Willy nilly. Maybe they just don't want to disclose it and then you challenge it

Whatyoutalkingabouteh · 03/08/2023 08:18

This happened a few yrs ago to my child and although they moved across with their friends, they ended up making great friendships with others in the new class. I was anxious about the whole thing but they loved it!

Uremindmeofthebabe · 03/08/2023 08:45

Uremindmeofthebabe · 02/08/2023 20:12

Maybe certain kids that are close friends that end up staying together work well together?

If you kid is getting split from their best friend then I'd say there's a problem. Maybe the other child's parent has requested it.

Thanks for the update OP. I'm hope he'll be ok going forward.

Uremindmeofthebabe · 03/08/2023 08:46

Annlenna · 02/08/2023 22:33

Here is the update for those asking:
I spoke to the teacher and the head teacher and they assured me they had no specific reason to split them and that it just worked out that way. They didn’t anticipate any issues and said they would keep an eye him to ensure he is happy in September BUT that they will not be making any changes under any circumstances now that the classes have been announced.
In all honesty I’m still not happy and it all seems really unfair to me but unless he is genuinely unhappy come September it doesn’t look like I can do anything about it. So we’ll just have to wait and see…

Thanks for the update OP, I hope he's going going forward.

SamPoodle123 · 03/08/2023 11:35

minipie · 02/08/2023 23:50

I honestly think that your own reaction will have a big influence on how your son reacts.

I have a friend who is very vocally disappointed with how a class reshuffle worked out for her daughter, keeps going on about it and trying to keep the old group alive (eg birthday party invited all old classmates no new ones) … surprise, her dd hasn’t really settled in the new class and now often plays on her own. If she’d presented it as a positive and encouraged her dd to try out the new classmates I think it would have been so much better for her DD.

Yes, exactly this. Have to try and make it work and encourage new friendships and not live in the past. Dc follow suit on how parents react.

PutYourBackIntoit · 03/08/2023 11:51

Sounds like poor communication from the school. Do they have form for not being open with parents?

When this happened to my child in year1, we were asked to come to a presentation, with little notice. We were not told what it was about, but some parents guessed it might be about a class split (it hadn't been needed for many years previously).

We were told, as a group, they had assessed all the 4 and 5 year olds, drawn a line 3/4 of the way down, and the children above the line would go into yr1, and the children below the line would stay in the reception class.

My child (amongst the eldest in the year) was below the line. All parents evenings to this point were letting me know she was 'fine' and I stupidly took that at face value. She was my first, had excellent vocab, great conversational skills. I had no idea she wasn't meeting expectations.
It felt like a punch in the stomach.

The worst comment I remember was the head saying 'research shows us that this order of ability is likely to stay the same up to year 6, and beyond'. Written off at 5 years old, publicly.

It was the worst experience of my 3 dc primary school years.

My amazing dd is now thriving, although her journey has not been smooth.

TizerorFizz · 03/08/2023 14:20

@PutYourBackIntoit Some heads simply are not professional. So essentially Dc were in sets at YR/Y1. I have seen schools, in the past, hive off the youngest irrespective of ability. This doesn’t work either. The only fair way is to mix them all up. No child should repeat YR. Plus schools should be clear about progress and attainment and not use one word platitudes. So why didn’t they mix Y1 and Y2? Same key stage and obvious. Presumably low numbers in YR,

Coyoacan · 03/08/2023 18:17

The worst comment I remember was the head saying 'research shows us that this order of ability is likely to stay the same up to year 6, and beyond'. Written off at 5 years old, publicly.

Whao. I wonder what research that is.

There is actually a famous bit of research where researchers went into classes of 5-year-olds, tested them and then told the teachers which children showed wonderful promise and which ones were useless. In fact, they had randomly assigned these values to the children.

Then they monitored the children's progress over the years through school and observed that the ones they had randomed labelled as gifted made great strides and the others they had randomly labelled as useless fell behind.

QueensBees · 03/08/2023 19:05

Coyoacan · 03/08/2023 18:17

The worst comment I remember was the head saying 'research shows us that this order of ability is likely to stay the same up to year 6, and beyond'. Written off at 5 years old, publicly.

Whao. I wonder what research that is.

There is actually a famous bit of research where researchers went into classes of 5-year-olds, tested them and then told the teachers which children showed wonderful promise and which ones were useless. In fact, they had randomly assigned these values to the children.

Then they monitored the children's progress over the years through school and observed that the ones they had randomed labelled as gifted made great strides and the others they had randomly labelled as useless fell behind.

That’s awful @Coyoacan
Because it really means that once a child has been ‘labelled’ the attitude from the teachers (and parents?) sets them for life.

PutYourBackIntoit · 03/08/2023 21:34

@Coyoacan thats fascinating!

Sadly for my child, she for many years, labelled herself as stupid, and it hindered her attitude to learning, I'm sure.

We moved her school, and on day 2 of the new school, they put in a confidence boosting intervention (precision teaching, I think).
I'd never heard of an intervention before. The previous school told us she was behind, but did nothing to help support her. In years that followed we found out her general intelligence was in 75th percentile, processing speed in 5th, adhd and dyspraxia.

I'm still so bitter about it, but she's doing really well now.

Coyoacan · 03/08/2023 22:05

@PutYourBackIntoit

I'm glad you changed her school. I've known so many children who have been late developers and there probably would be a lot more if it weren't for eejits like that headteacher.

SENDMummy · 11/08/2023 19:22

QueensBees · 13/07/2023 19:32

That is true in the best world.

My experience though is that sometimes schools have arbitrary rules such as ‘we always split friends’ or they dont notice some children struggling because children can be masters at putting a good front at school and then fall apart at home (I had one if those. No one ever wanted to believe me when I described the huge meltdowns coming back home….).
And let’s be honest, some teachers are just oblivious/not very good at their job too, like any profession.

I wouldn’t ever assume that teachers always know best. Because it’s not unusual that they don’t.

Show quote history

Usually these decisions are made by SLT, not the class teachers. Often, they are not consulted. If you have a problem, go to the Head - it was their call, not the class teacher who will now be dealing with settling the children, a new social and emotional class dynamic and some very upset Parents and, more importantly, upset children.